For the most part, at some point in this journey of illness, we have all seen a therapist. I have seen psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers. Been there. I have seen folks who have CFS or Fibro and are therapists.
Those who are ill need to talk about it. We need to vent, let it out, all of the disappointments, the losses, the grieving. As much as one would just love to rely on their significant other to spill to, or family to dump on; they are people too who may get tired of hearing it. Other friends with CFS cannot always be a person to talk to because they are ill too and may not have the energy to offer support or may feel such sorrow as well. And then there are those who are well. They listen but don't always get it, or recommend things we have known about and done already.
For me, therapy has not always been therapeutic. I have had a therapist cry during my sessions, telling me how she suffered a horrible depression. I had a psychiatrist who talked more than I did and constantly tried to get me to buy his book. I had a shrink come on to me! I had a woman with CFS who was a psychologist tell me that I, as a patient, was too draining on her because she felt so bad for me being ill so young. Oh, you name it, it's happened. Let's face it, many of them are CRAZY!
But more importantly, they want you to come to terms with an illness or fight it. Or, they don't believe in it or they don't realize the seriousness of the situation.
When you have an illness, you are ALWAYS grieving. We are constantly in a state of mourning. Just when we think we have accepted a situation, a new symptom, it bites us so bad that we are down and out and angry or just down right spent. I have been grieving for over 21 years and although I accept that I am ill because I have no choice, I am not happy about it and yeah, I still complain that I have to deal with this crap. Honestly, if you did just accept it, I would wonder what is up with you!
There is also the issue of time. A visit to a therapist usually lasts for 45 minutes. 45 minutes doesn't allow me enough time to deal with all that is going on. Yesterday I was semi functional, the day before that I was in bed, the day before that I was in so much pain I was taking constant baths to settle it down. Also, you are dealing with the real world around you while you are sick. Should I talk about how my friend, co-worker, boyfriend isn't accepting of my illness or should I talk about what the doctor said? How do I fit this into 45 minutes? What can anyone say to make you feel better about that? "You are strong, you are a survivor!" I know, thanks. Now what?
I would rather talk to my cat. My cat snuggles with me. My cat listens. My cat knows when I am not feeling well. My cat gets it. He doesn't say anything weird or start crying. And you know what? I don't have to pay him either. It's really pretty awesome. We both get something out of it. He gets attention and I get to cry, talk, dump, whatever. He is fine with it.
But here's the deal, I don't have a cat.
I have a plant.
Anyway, you hear me.
Therapy hasn't worked for me. Some therapists have seriously hurt me more than helped. I have post traumatic stress disorder due to CFIDS. I would need intense therapy for that and honestly, I would just rather live my life. Something that I have learned over the years is that therapists, doctors, etc....they are all just people. That is all they are. They may be just as messed up as I am and clearly some of them have been.
To me, the best therapy is a nice bath, a hot cup of tea, clean sheets, journaling, a good friend and television. Taking care of me. Ultimately, we know what's best for us. Our gut is the therapist. Something that someone said to me that always stuck with me is, "Go by how you feel. Not but what makes sense or what "should" make sense. If something doesn't feel right to you, then it's not right. Don't question it, feel it and go from there."
Now when it comes to illness, that is not always easy to do because we question our mental state sometimes. But at the end of the day, if something doesn't feel right, it's not right. HOW DO WE MAKE IT RIGHT?
I don't know. But until then, I will continue to talk to my cat that I don't have.
SMILE. :Retro wink:
Those who are ill need to talk about it. We need to vent, let it out, all of the disappointments, the losses, the grieving. As much as one would just love to rely on their significant other to spill to, or family to dump on; they are people too who may get tired of hearing it. Other friends with CFS cannot always be a person to talk to because they are ill too and may not have the energy to offer support or may feel such sorrow as well. And then there are those who are well. They listen but don't always get it, or recommend things we have known about and done already.
For me, therapy has not always been therapeutic. I have had a therapist cry during my sessions, telling me how she suffered a horrible depression. I had a psychiatrist who talked more than I did and constantly tried to get me to buy his book. I had a shrink come on to me! I had a woman with CFS who was a psychologist tell me that I, as a patient, was too draining on her because she felt so bad for me being ill so young. Oh, you name it, it's happened. Let's face it, many of them are CRAZY!
But more importantly, they want you to come to terms with an illness or fight it. Or, they don't believe in it or they don't realize the seriousness of the situation.
When you have an illness, you are ALWAYS grieving. We are constantly in a state of mourning. Just when we think we have accepted a situation, a new symptom, it bites us so bad that we are down and out and angry or just down right spent. I have been grieving for over 21 years and although I accept that I am ill because I have no choice, I am not happy about it and yeah, I still complain that I have to deal with this crap. Honestly, if you did just accept it, I would wonder what is up with you!
There is also the issue of time. A visit to a therapist usually lasts for 45 minutes. 45 minutes doesn't allow me enough time to deal with all that is going on. Yesterday I was semi functional, the day before that I was in bed, the day before that I was in so much pain I was taking constant baths to settle it down. Also, you are dealing with the real world around you while you are sick. Should I talk about how my friend, co-worker, boyfriend isn't accepting of my illness or should I talk about what the doctor said? How do I fit this into 45 minutes? What can anyone say to make you feel better about that? "You are strong, you are a survivor!" I know, thanks. Now what?
I would rather talk to my cat. My cat snuggles with me. My cat listens. My cat knows when I am not feeling well. My cat gets it. He doesn't say anything weird or start crying. And you know what? I don't have to pay him either. It's really pretty awesome. We both get something out of it. He gets attention and I get to cry, talk, dump, whatever. He is fine with it.
But here's the deal, I don't have a cat.
I have a plant.
Anyway, you hear me.
Therapy hasn't worked for me. Some therapists have seriously hurt me more than helped. I have post traumatic stress disorder due to CFIDS. I would need intense therapy for that and honestly, I would just rather live my life. Something that I have learned over the years is that therapists, doctors, etc....they are all just people. That is all they are. They may be just as messed up as I am and clearly some of them have been.
To me, the best therapy is a nice bath, a hot cup of tea, clean sheets, journaling, a good friend and television. Taking care of me. Ultimately, we know what's best for us. Our gut is the therapist. Something that someone said to me that always stuck with me is, "Go by how you feel. Not but what makes sense or what "should" make sense. If something doesn't feel right to you, then it's not right. Don't question it, feel it and go from there."
Now when it comes to illness, that is not always easy to do because we question our mental state sometimes. But at the end of the day, if something doesn't feel right, it's not right. HOW DO WE MAKE IT RIGHT?
I don't know. But until then, I will continue to talk to my cat that I don't have.
SMILE. :Retro wink:
