I removed my blog post....

Yesterday i heard this radio show from the BBC about Internet addiction. I was worrying that I, too, may have a tendency toward internet addiction. I have family members - in good health - who wake up and go online....and I think could be online for 8, 12 hours a day. I believe one is a true addict. So, this radio show hit close to home...and I was worrying. "Could this be me?" I wondered.

But, then, I realized that right now it just doesn't matter.
That's when I deleted my "worry-post".

I mean, I would really rather be doing different things: playing my guitar, singing, going to music therapy, doing art work, playing piano, making mobiles, calling friends on the phone...heck...even working. Or, like a last (failed) attempt -- volunteering.

It has been an unusually long, harsh, cold (it was in the teens Fahrenheit last night) winter where I live. Normally, in warmer weather, I get out in my wheel chair, or if feeling well enough, short walks...and just be outside. Watch people. Watch birds. Watch a tree. Watch the sky. I no longer tolerate cold. Anything under 50-60 Fahrenheit can begin mild hypothermia in me...I have to wear warm clothing until 67+Fahrenheit.

So, if I need to break my frustration (icy, long winter), my loneliness, my despair, my fear...if I need to do this - for now - by being online ad-nauseum... so be it. If I need rehab for my time online, I'll go.

Hopefully that rehab will be somewhere warmer, where I can at least people-watch.


PS: I got out yesterday people... yes, I got out! And, I am looking forward to getting out some more. (it's a little loud, lower volume)


I think that this addiction does not count for us. We don't have many options for things to do.
Hunger for a life, is what i think, when i hear of ppl with me that spends hours and hours each day online.

As you..... i would rather be out in my garden, working or have a "real" life, than live in my bed/sofa. But when it is like it is....... i make the best i can out of it. So my life is online, or watching tv while waiting
Nico, you list a great number of activities you enjoy. I believe there is a balance in enjoying those interests, developing new interests, and staying on top of your Illness. I find the time spent learning about the overwhelming losses in my life, I can be control of some factors and develop better ways to function from others who have had this illness way too long without proper medical respect. The doctors know! For some reason they are not being able to treat what we need, so they pretend we do not exist. Insurance, Medical Board Dictates, Collusion of Medical professionals, I don't really know why anyone would want us to become debilitated? I thought that was the essence of studying medicine? Why spout "I am a MD" and then watch us suffer by denying our symptoms or not gain personal satisfaction professionally by seeing the improvements if they would just try?

Granted each of us suffer in a different way, but I spend my time researching, learning and then using appropriate "medical terms" (otherwise known as "Dr. speak") when I need to get them to help me. I can only be up at certian times of the day, and can choose to make the most of my dwindiling resources. That means arobic exercise in getting into the medical support hose that someone tipped me off to, which is of course followed by an extended rest. I can choose where I rest, how best for me to rest and how not to overload. But, before you know it the treatment worked, I go play some with my revised goals and I know that I can sit on the porch and read in the next hour to avoid total ruin. The time spent on the computer does not have to be all ME related. Learning how to put a twist on your favorite interests and then develop a plan to change up before getting squelched is worth the investment. Keep your balance in your personal interests, and hopefully you will not feel like your addicted to the computer. The best time to shut the computer off is 2 hours before you want to go to sleep. Same with TV and video games. No stimualtion when you want to set yourself up to be in control of the illness rather than it controlling you. Pehaps balance and boundries are better changed, than not being prepared for an oppotunity to work with your physician so he/she can want to help. I wish you well, I have enjoyed your writings!
Molly, thanks for your post.
I don't have t.v. so I use my computer as a t.v.

Through that medium I have been able to watch t.v. in German, which I speak as well. I found a wonderful web site which is French and German, and they show concerts that I could not attend. Anything after 6:30 pm is just too iffy.

It's no problem. Soon the weather will be getting warmer and then I'll have sky and people to look at.

fortunately my doctor is supportive,so I am happy for that.

My cat keeps me company. At night when I'm at my best, I play wiht him very hard. It's good for my upper body strength.

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