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Health notes edited 2002

2.1.02 No craving for g & t this evening or yesterday. Quite tired, achey & lethargic (but not depressed). Also not hungry enough to need late evening meal.

Lack of such craving & hunger is unusual.

Bit of slime. Had yellow discharge before (for c 1-2 wks).

Did have 1 g & t & a modest evening meal. IBS gp & even greater sleepiness afterwards.

8.1.02 Returning from M’s funeral, when nearly ‘home’ (P V) I came over numb & dizzy & nauseous. Had to go to bed early.

13.1.02 Knee-backs have been unusually achey, & legs unusually weak, for a few days. Getting bad strain-type eye ache at times too.

17.1.02 C (cat) & I both have symptoms of kidney/urinary infection. I had lower back pain today followed by urinary discomfort (mildish stinging/burning sensation in urinary tract). Took an extra Cranberry Juice tablet.

18.1.02 Worrying smell outside flat c 1300. There were NCDC staff near end of the other fork of P V earlier (near T’s place) & a week or 2 before I’d seen drain cover (visible from my place) lifted by workmen. Connected?

THIS can’t be coincidence, surely: discovered via evening news that there had been a chemical spill at A P in L. 2 spillages had occurred, including 10 litres of toluene, & 17 people had been admitted to hospital. This afternoon I found my vegeburger & toast tasted very salty. V. thirsty after early evening meal - drank more than ½ pt water.

It was raining when the smell was discovered - could the volatiles have got into clouds? (added later - unlikely)

Think that as well as symptoms mentioned in Cats’ Health diary I felt a (fairly slight) pressure on sides of head as if things were closing in on me. Had been quite worried & wondering whether I’d need to call for medical help.

20.1.02 Having not had hot flushes for about a month, I’ve had a few recently. Not sure if before or only since the chemical smell.

Period-type ‘spotting’ today - the first sign of menstruation for ten months. Dr F had said that I was post-menopausal.

Slept unusually heavily last night having had no alcohol, dope or sleeping aids. V. vivid dreams Could have slept on, despite having had 9-10 or more hours sleep.

Felt rather stoned/euphoric in the evening - poss. reminiscent of when period comes on.

Could the chemical have been an oestrogen mimic?

21.1.02 More ‘spotting’ in evening.

28.1.02 Still having some hot flushes. ‘Spotting’ has stopped. (Had it for about a normal period, & it smelt rather like menstrual blood)

30.1.02 Scalp very tender in places. Due to scratching? (It gets v. itchy when hair needs washing.)

1.2.02 I think I’ve meant to record this before but may have been too stoned to do so.

Definite analgesic effect of home-grown dope (& likely other kinds too). Muscles were v. weak & achey after walk into A from F L & back. After a single-skin joint the pain was greatly reduced & that which remained was less perceptible or less problematic/significant.

3.2.02 Haven’t needed so many Desmotabs in past few weeks or so as previously - only ½ - 1 most days in contrast to 2. Went an amazingly long time with only one urination when travelling home from H (8.1.02) - over 9 hours. Not sure if I took 1 or 2 Desmotabs.

12.2.02 Still suffering from ‘return of the hot flushes.’

Also getting frequent/persistent upper-central back pain. Think this is where I sometimes got pain during LSD trips & after drinking my ‘toxic’ mint wine.

Eyes also watering excessively - I think that this had reduced until recently. Makes studying difficult.

Feeling need for a lot of sleep, & having some v. sleepy periods during day - unable to think clearly or study effectively.

Different from the IBS-gp-associated ‘woosiness’. For example, walking to bus stop & forgetting where I was going, also having difficulty knowing what time of day it is & when I would be catching bus home.

15.2.02 V. sharp gasp-inducing twinge in groin, of the type which I used to get sometimes shortly before period.

19.3.02 Eyes have been watering a lot lately, hampering studying.

22.3.02 Severe ‘randies’ - had to give in as it was affecting concentration. Have had it a bit for days. Discharge. Slight continence difficulty (urinary).

Feeling hot & tired all day. Legs aching inexplicably (not just ME-type post-exercise ache). Throat feels swollen (as often does). Constipation at times - very unusual.

27.3.02 Woke during night with pain in right shoulder area, reminiscent of that incurred as result of fall from roof in 1970s. Hope it’s just due to overuse of muscles cutting up paper & card while producing stationery for conference, & not an arthritic consequence of fall. It hurts to turn head to right as well as to use shoulder.

Multiple orgasmic-type contractions during night.

28.3.02 Shoulder girdle still painful (only when I move). Pain less by evening.

29.3.02 Still have shoulder pain but it’s getting milder.

8.4.02 Legs (esp. knee-backs) have been aching badly for few days. Suspect bug.

14.4.02 Have had a (chap?) for several days between left thumb & forefinger. Raw, often itchy, a bit swollen. Can’t think what’s caused it - weather not particularly cold.

21.4.02 IBS gp came on in mid-afternoon causing me to have to abandon studying (this has happened several times over the past fortnight). Accompanying knee-back pain & weakness but not high fluid output as sometimes co-occurs with latter.

Knee-backs aching a lot in evening.

24.4.02 Still feeling grotty on & off, with neck- & headache coming & going & with Paracetamol making little or no difference.

26.4.02 Only c 2 g & ts & no dope because taking calls for G P. Polyuria for c 2 hours during night, which has been uncommon lately. Is this the excuse I want to keep swigging & smoking?!

27.4.02 Still getting head- & neckache on & off - makes studying difficult.

28.4.02 Quite bad headache & fluid in airways in early morning. Nose v. bunged up. Seems per another ME sufferer that the fluid in airways is from post-nasal drip, not saliva.

5.5.02 Started taking Phytosoya again (2 a day) on reading in OU Study material that oestrogen counteracts post-menopausal weight gain.

8.5.02 Atypical leg ache & leg weakness. Shaky & wobbly during late afternoon.

14.5.02 For past few days I have had skin peeling around base of fingernails & frequent IBS gp. Aforementioned skin raw & sore, & a crack (chap?) between thumb joint & nail has bled.

21.5.02 Very bad hangover. Had had maybe 8 or 9 g & ts yesterday, but legs had been aching quite badly when went to pub, assumed to be due to exertion of trying on a selection of clothes & having to climb on & off bed to see self in mirror, so maybe my system was weakened.

Head & neck ache, vomiting (4 bouts, last 3 v. yellow), feeling very cold & shivering, cramp in knee-backs. Stayed in bed all day. Legs v. weak when got up to cook some food in evening. Only managed a single slice of toast & small amount of scrambled tofu all day.

25.5.02 Frequent & persistent IBS gp in afternoons for past 2-3 days, often making study impossible.

Accompanied by v. nagging backache today (& poss. yesterday). Pain is around middle of back.

Leg ache & weakness/esp kneebacks) often accompanies the gp, & arms quite weak/quickly tiring & painful too.

Recurrent problem these days is (muscle?) pain in left upper arm. Conscious of tension in the muscles even when not aching. Hard to tell whether I’m consciously tensing muscle(s) or not.

Eyes watering a lot, disrupting studies.

23.6.02 Moved out of the cramped, damp, mouldy P V on 14th, back to M P.

Rash on behind seems reduced in size.

Quite a lot of discharge. Several sharp pains in groin early & late pm. Presumed gynaecological but bowel pains are sometimes v. similar.

28.6.02 Fell down steps to old kitchen for 1st time since moving back (have done this once or twice before). During day - totally sober. Not sure how it happened - maybe boot caught on floor above step. Found self flying through air & landed heavily on elbow, knee & foot. Elbow grazed, knee prob. bruised, & left foot became more painful later (pain spread from toe area across rest of upper foot). V. painful when fell - I yelled for several seconds. Don’t think I’ve broken anything.

19.7.02 Have fluey-type leg-ache most mornings since moving back home, but it doesn’t persist. Worrying chest pain today after shopping - high up on right.

Have had similar pains recently which I’ve put down to muscle strain but can’t think how I might have strained muscle in this case (use of walking stick). (Not sure what I meant here)

Yesterday or day before I had an unexplained bout of breathing difficulty - not like asthmatic wheezing. Actually it may have been a few days ago, maybe after assembling poster with PVA glue. Could that cause it? SEE NEXT PAGE.

Knee that I hurt on 28th June is still tender to kneel on.

Hardly any hot flushes since moving back home. Only one nocturnal one (tonight). Had been having several daily at P V.

Had another spell of ‘breathlessness’ in evening, when sitting at computer. Not serious - didn’t prevent me from doing things - just felt strange.

Have been hallucinating a lot since returning home - keep thinking I see a cat or a human, both indoors & out, when none is there. Ghosts?!

22.7.02 Upper-right chest pain & wheezing again this evening, along with ME-atypical leg ache & weakness. Think it’s bronchitis. Maybe due to dust from cleaning things, sorting old textiles, tearing up cardboard boxes, etc. Also have been smoking strong grass in mini bubble-pipe but sometimes without enough water in it.

Another poss. contributory factor - have been drilling plaster to put pictures up.

Maybe bronchitis could also account, at least partly, for the hallucinations. Oregano, thyme & honeysuckle flower tea relieved wheezing & pain.

Forgot to mention - once or twice during last week I’ve woken up to a sound which I think was snoring - so I think I’ve started snoring.

Still have bad fluid in airways on waking as often as not. Clearing it requires throat-clearing & coughing. When fluid is in particular place (epiglottis, I think) I retch loudly when trying to clear it and have to fight to stop it progressing to vomiting. Mouth fills with fluid as I do this - has it all come from airways? Nose runs & eyes water during these clearing sessions.

27.7.02 After feeling better for a few days I started feeling wheezy again am after going into pond area. Weather fairly dull with light drizzle, following warm/hot dry spell.

Pain in chest occurred occasionally during past few days & is more persistent today.

Plantain tea seemed to clear chest a little.

28.7.02 Sore tongue. Sneezing a bit. Faeces orangey-coloured, bitty in consistency & sticky.

Blob of what appeared to be menstrual blood a.m.

29.7.02 Menstrual-type blob am again.

Tongue still sore at times. Think my breath smells foul. Still sneezing a bit more than usual.

Weather warm & muggy.

Urinary discomfort pm & slight leakage I think. Had same on another evening recently. Took an extra Cranberry juice tablet as then.

Eyes have been watering quite prolifically lately - it is v. handicapping when studying.

I’ve had the problem for years now, but sometimes worse than at other times.

Distinct lack of IBS gp for last few weeks.

31.7.02 Still have upper right chest pain some of the time plus occasional wheezing.

Loo paper vivid pinkish-red when did 1st defecation but not sure if came from front or back.

Later had menstrual-type ‘spotting’ so assume former.

Quite severe leg ache & weakness at times today.

3.8.02 (corrected from 3.7.02) More catarrh than usual a.m., (missed out second dot) + paracetamol-resistant head- & neck-ache. Have had that strange sound apparently emanating from back of neck at least twice recently - sounds a bit like clock or watch being wound, or chink of cup and saucer. (High-pitched)

Headache gone by 1630 but have had several hot flushes today & they were still occurring after headache had gone. (Hot flushes have become infrequent since moving back to M P.)

5.8.02 Right knee has almost stopped hurting when bent (see 28th June). Left one twinges a bit when I bend it now.

Yesterday I was sitting outside when grass cutter operated in horse field. Thought that smell was like mixture of grass & manure.

Developed IBS gp & slight headache shortly after cutting started. (Hadn’t had former for weeks, I think).

IBS gp stopped after about an hour.

Feel a bit fluey & achey am.

Sore area on inside of mouth - rear left-hand side of roof. Bloody bogeys am (but think I may have had this yesterday &/or day before too).

7.8.02 Mouth still sore (different bits each day). Throat sore & feeling parched at times. Breath foul, I think. Multiple defecations am - small amounts, pale-toffee-coloured.

Joints have been rather stiff, creaky & a bit painful lately.

Weather hot & humid.

9.8.02 Headache after breakfast. >8 defecations am.

Headache again/still pm, when paracetamol should still have been working.

11.8.02 Getting IBS gp again. The carrot-intolerance theory still seems to be supported, but today I got gp after toast, which is v. rare. It was a new type of bread containing sunflower oil & with sunflower seeds on it.

Having about 4 hot flushes* a day (one just after IBS started), maybe more. * 6-8 some days. Profuse sweating, but only lasts a minute or few minutes.

12.8.02 Eyes have been watering copiously for last few days, maybe longer. Substantial visual handicap.

13.8.02 Eyes aching p.m. Reading difficulty - had to use new glasses, which haven’t before for normal reading.

14.8.02 Mild waves of low mood for v. brief periods over past 2-3 days. Only last a few seconds. Unusual poss. manifestation of transient low mood today - the ache around back of mouth cavity (roof & base, I think) which occurs during crying. Must be purely organic cause as I’m not depressed or upset about anything. It’s a bit like the mild mood drop that I got 7-10 days before period, so maybe that cycle is continuing.

Feel that my weight is up slightly again following a perceived fall after the menstrual-like ‘spotting’ c 2 weeks ago. Again, this was characteristic of menstrual cycle when fully operative.

19.8.02 Strong solvent-type smell between S C & S T R (N) while I was there between 1530 & 1630.

20.8.02 Menstrual-type spotting a.m.

Painful clitoris for 1st time in months (a year?). Slight randies, also for 1st time in months.

23.8.02 Have started getting occasional twitching of lower lip again, which had not had for months.

26.8.02 Have been v. aware of tension in limbs & back recently (prob >1-2 weeks). Not sure whether psychological or physical in origin. Have also been fiddling with hair a lot, & finding hard to stop, as with scratching (including pulling bits of dead, papery skin off) - have been doing that for years.

Today the upper-middle-back pain that I’ve had in the past is back. Dull, nagging ache.

27.8.02 Upper mid-back pain noticeable from midday. Also neck ‘grinding’ when turned - hadn’t had this for a while.

28.8.02 Made device to stop me lying on back in bed (because that seems to confer greatest risk of fluid inhalation). It’s a plastic ball attached to a suspender clip, which I clip onto back of upper garment. It worked! Still some fluid in airways on waking, but not large amount. Woke up perhaps more often than usual but not on back, so not sure what woke me.

Decided to try to cut down on fried foods (to avoid trans-fatty acids).

29.8.02 Urinary discomfort pm. Took 3 PowerHealth Cranberry Juice tabs. Hadn’t had the problem for prob. a year, but 2 days ago I reluctantly said to T in Health Food Shop that I hadn’t. Feared that fate would punish me for smugness as so often happens.

31.8.02 Knee-back ache all day - worse than usual. Slight urinary discomfort & frequency as yesterday (took 3 cranberry tabs yesterday).

Feeling a bit washed-out, with bouts of sleepiness (not as severe as sometimes get) - ditto yesterday.

2 attacks of asthma-like wheezing today - rarely get these. Recovered within 5-10 minutes without treatment.

In evening my ‘chap’ between left thumb & forefinger reawoke & started itching irresistably. I scratched & exacerbated it of course.

Have been drinking too much this week - think I’m getting through a litre of gin in 5 days! Am trying to keep an eye on it.

4.9.02 Still getting urinary discomfort at times & bad knee-back aching & weakness. As usual latter goes away after a few mins rest - which is not supposed to happen with ME.

7.9.02 Headache & arthritic-type neck-’grinding’. Feel tired & under-the-weather. Ditto yesterday. V. little alcohol yesterday - just 2 drinks with lunch. Still had diarrhoea in morning.

Getting stiff & uncomfortable in bed over last 2 days or more. Sometimes wake with muscles taut/rigid. (Maybe due to unconsciously trying to control bladder.)

9.9.02 Tried 2 soluble aspirin (total 600 mg) for upper-mid-back pain. No good. Also made me shaky & pulse felt as though it was racing, although ingredients list did not include caffeine.

Starting to have 1 tsp -1 tbsp flax oil every day.

14.9.02 Urinary discomfort p.m. Back pain is getting really distracting; am taking painkillers most days but with little or no effect.

18.9.02 Still have neckache, some upper-middle back pain & back-of-head pain/ache, + grinding sound when turn head. Paracetamol seems to help a little whilst aspirin does not.

19.9.02 Have had bad polyuria on occasions during past few days. Bad today, coinciding with back & neck pain & slight urinary discomfort.

20.9.02 Polyuric again (leading to thirst, as it tends to).

23.9.02 Still have head, back &/or neck pain every day.

Polyuric late afternoon - early evening. Feeling v. tired & washed-out by 1900.

25.9.02 Shooting pain in groin - feels like the pain which used to come a few days before period (sharp enough to make me cry out). Polyuria earlier, which Desmopressin seems to have dealt with.

27.9.02 Bad night - all my sleep-preventing disorders combined: polyuria, muscle pain (esp. upper arms), neck & backache, hot flushes, plus, I think, groin pains (shooting & IBS-type). Took ½ Nytol c 0600 after lying awake for c 2 hours. Worked within about an hour, I think. Also had headache, I think.

28.9.02 Still have back/neck pain. Appetite a bit reduced. Decided to forego g & t this evening (& smoke, as am running v. low).

Co-codamol (scrounged) helps with pain. Have had superficial bleeding in nose for a couple of weeks, poss. coinciding with start of pain incidence. (so maybe a month)

3.10.02 Started taking O-Mega-Zen 3, an American supplement containing 300 mg DHA, once a day.

10.10.02 Still have head, neck &/or upper back pain every day.

15.10.02 Feeling weaker than usual - more ‘fluey’. Legs especially weak & achey. Haven’t had to take painkillers for > a week, I think. Not sure if this is just due to different pattern of activity - no longer spending most of time sitting studying. Getting lot of hot flushes, or at least getting v. hot when move after being immobile. Hadn’t had this so much during previous weeks/months.

16.10.02 Woke feeling grottier than usual. More catarrh than usual, but it was a bit looser & easier to shift.

Throat/chin glands v. swollen. Headache for much of night. Felt hungry from early hours, although had eaten usual amount in late evening. (Am eating less during day, poss. because more active & so distracted.) Headaches during past 2 days have often been accompanied by visual disturbances - seeing movement or light or dark shapes which are not actually present. (Focussing difficult too, I think.)

Getting pain in left arm from use of computer mouse.

Upper back &, to lesser extent, back-of-neck, pain v. troublesome from mid - late afternoon onwards. Generally feeling tired & washed-out, so decided to take it easy for a change this evening. (No computer work, drinking or smoking).

Early night (2015)

17.10.02 Still in pain, but not much headache. Took paracetamol. No booze or dope tonight again, so no late evening meal - it’s the g & t that makes me want it, I think.

So hopefully I can save money and lose weight!

Legs pretty achey in evening but not exhausted like yesterday, despite considerable physical activity.

At times I wonder whether the pain is a temporary ‘detox-type’ worsening due to flaxseed oil & now DHA starting to kick in. Ever the optimist!

Weather cold & intermittently wet & sunny today.

18.10.02 Strong chemical (solvent?) smell on N E again (c 1445, east of S C).

Sore throat pm.

19.10.02 Today & yesterday - dull pain in chest when leaning forward to clean out grate. Feels as though in rib area.

27.10.02 There seems to be correlation with catarrh & headache on waking & amount of alcohol previous evening. If drink v. moderately or not at all, tend not to have headache, & catarrh is much reduced. Have been drinking more moderately since c. 18th (following brief abstinence due to non-desire)

Still getting neck & upper-back pain.

Knee-backs aching quite a lot over past week or two. Not sure if related to exertion (e.g. sawing up waste wood for fire).

29.10.02 Not sure, but think my mind has been sharper during past few weeks than in previous year or 2. Poss. due to less pain, or greater physical activity or less anxiety. Still have short-term memory problems.

Haven’t taken painkillers for a week or 2. (except dope in evening)

Am replacing late evening meal (usually curry) with bread or toast with peanut butter, paté or Scheese, or licorice & nuts, or nothing but a couple of double g & ts.

Early evening meal now a risotto-type concoction of kidney beans, red pepper, garlic, tomato & leek or onion, flavoured with turmeric & coriander (dried) plus mixed salad & lettuce, etc. (Used to be chips or boiled spuds with salad.)

Surprised to find chin glands more swollen than usual, as feel reasonably well, although legs achey & had to make several defecation dashes, most not v. productive.

1.11.02 No alcohol, dope or food last night but headache & congestion am. Took 1 Co-Codamol c 2200 last night. Headache persisted till around lunchtime.

Surprised to arrive home without usual knee-back pain & leg fatigue after a fairly lengthy visit to Co op. Think that headache was gone too. Thoughts of a recovery flitted through my mind but I maintained healthy cynicism, having had such brief remissions before. Normal achey self again in evening (legs, upper back & neck, but not head)

Again observed (on way to shop) that brain seemed to be functioning more efficiently than in past 2 years. Thoughts racing, but don’t feel overwhelmed or muddled by this (not fuzzy). Before, thoughts were more staggering drunkenly & bumping into each other!

3.11.02 IBS all morning. Had ½ lager at lunchtime to try to get rid of it. Not totally successful. Felt sleepy later due to beer.

12.11.02 Stopped taking 500 mg Vit C tablets daily. Changed multivit/mineral tablets to Health-shop ones which have many extras. They contain: 375 μg Vit A, 30 mg beta-carotene (‘providing 3 mg ‘actual’ beta-carotene’), 0.5 mg lycopene, 0.5 mg lutein, 5 mg Vit. D, 50 i.u. Vit E, 150 mg Vit. C, 15 mg Vit B1, 15 mg Vit. B6, 15 mg Vit. B2, 25 mg niacin, 200 μg folic acid, 12.5 μg Vit B12, 25 mg biotin, 15 mg pantothenic acid, 45.5 mg phosphorus, 7.5 mg magnesium as Iron Ascorbate (?), 2.5 mg Zn, 38.25 mg iodine, 0.5 mg Mn, 0.5 mg Cu, 12.5 μg molybdenum, 12.5 μg Cr, 25 μg selenium (as L-selenomethionine), 15 mg choline bitartrate, 15 mg inositol, 25 mg citrus bioflavonoids, 1 mg rutin, 5 mg hesperidin, 2.5 mg Co-Q10, 1 mg proanthocyanidins (misspelt proanthocanidins), 1 mg @-lipoic acid, 15 mg N-acetyl cysteine, 50 mg L-glutamine, 142 mg Ca

Superficial nose bleeding (left nostril)

14.1.02 Nose bleeding stopped (except for v. small amount in bogeys). Neck- & slight headache am.

Only 1 g & t last night, but had done a town-centre shopping trip (which involves initial steep uphill walk).

15.11.02 Took a Lifeplan Chamomile Blend tablet last night (no alcohol or dp). Chin & upper throat v. swollen in morning - think this happened last time too.* *apparently not the cause - see 1-2 & 10.12.02

Active ingredients are 50 mg valerian root extract, 50 mg chamomile extract, 50 mg hop extract & 50 mg passiflora extract.

Felt grotty all day - neck-ache, pain in temples, etc (like the pain I’ve had a lot over past 2 years but not so much over past few weeks).

Co-codamol in afternoon helped quite a lot - felt ‘human’ again.

16.11.02 Headache again - no sleeping tablets last night though. Slight superficial bleeding from l. nostril. Maybe symptoms are not due to food/drink/drugs. Have wondered whether it’s due to self-infection by scratching. Otherwise exertion perhaps - cutting up firewood yesterday.

17.11.02 No headache! Also v. little neck-pain (hardly noticeable).

Quite strenuous gardening nearly all yesterday afternoon. 1 g & t + dp last night. Weather cold.

19.11.02 Still no headache. Slight upper-back pain. Area under chin also more swollen than usual a.m.

Getting IBS gp a lot - even in morning. Lower abdomen v. bloated, making clothes tight.

20.11.02 Headache on waking, soon went away but neck grinding & upper back aching continued.

22.11.02 Defecation difficulty a.m. Keep dashing to loo due to feeling of needing to go, but couldn’t.

23.11.02 Bowels back to ‘normal’ (loose).

Noted during hot sweats during night that my muscles were relaxed at the time (they seem to be tense most of the time). Wonder whether relaxation is a response to the overheating or a cause. E.g. if mitochondria in muscles are not producing kinetic energy (leading to muscle contraction) they could be releasing heat instead.

25.11.02 Think that muscle relaxation follows hot sweats. Noticed this evening that when stoned, hot sweat(s) did not progress as far as usual - seemed better controlled.

Weight is nearly 11 stone!

26.11.02 Can taste metal in mouth, seemingly from one of front teeth.

27.11.02 Noticed another benefit of dope - it enables me to read with tele glasses! (Mind you it’s the lower ½ of the glasses - maybe I can normally read with these - check. (forgot to close brackets)

30.11.02 Head- & neckache a m. Former soon gone, latter diminished to more bearable level.

Feeling irritable in early evening (as before a period) but later had no urge for usual g & t & dp, so didn’t have any. Irritability almost gone.

1.12.02 V. tired again in evening, so again no alcohol or dp. Have been exerting self a lot over past few days (gardening & cutting up firewood). Sleeping well (apart from frequent trips to loo to urinate), but muscles ridiculously tense, even on waking. Am beginning to wonder if it has biochemical cause, & am hoping to try a tyrosine complex supplement which may help.

Polyuria after going to bed so risked taking a Chamomile Blend sleeping tablet, following insufficient effect from one Desmotab.

2.12.02 No headache am in contrast to previous 2 mornings after taking Chamomile blend tablets. Did have slight one later.

3.12.02 Noticed a lack of real elation on receiving news of triumph over OU ad censorship. Not sure if this is a real flatness of mood or due to feeling of heavy responsibility for transmitting & responding to the news. Just felt pleased, despite this being an historic victory effected largely by me, a potential precedent & the culmination of >19 months’ work.

4.12.02 Intermittent localised pain in groin (bladder? reproductive organs?) for few days. Similar area to where I used to get fleeting but severe stabbing pain a few days before periods. This time it has not been severe, & fluctuates in strength.

8.12.02 Bad knee-back ache am.

9.12.02 Headache & quite bad nasal congestion am. Poss. relevant factors from yesterday: exertion (cutting firewood), prolonged exposure to a perfumed-shampoo user (R), computer printer ink (did some printing, which hadn’t done for a few days), different evening meal (contained ginger, apple, turmeric, cumin, TVP & tinned tomato) & 2-3 g & ts in evening.

10.12.02 Felt reasonably OK am although had Chamomile Blend sleeping tablet last night. Looks like it’s not the cause of headaches, etc. Have had pounding pulse in head for past 2 nights on going to bed, which used to be common but not for months. Poss. causes: exertion (wood cutting & gardening), printer ink, different evening meal (as yesterday).

Sweating a lot under arms over past week or so - wet much of the time.

11.12.02 Legs (knee-backs) not aching much at all. Easier than usual to walk up R H.

12.12.02 Legs v. achey on rising. Headache on waking, & bad catarrh, but improved soon after getting up, headache disappearing.

Lot of numbness & cramps last night, which are not usual at present. Still having problems in morning - writing this is difficult due to numbness in hand. Poss. reasons? - exposure to solvents yesterday - white spirit in which I soaked printer cartridge holder, & accidental melting of plastic on cooker.

15.12.02 Legs better for past few days. Headache on waking. Poss causes: printing ink, white spirit fumes, more gin than usual. Little exertion yesterday.

Have had itchy & poss. weeping area an inch or 2 above rear end for past few days. Sore tongue tip this morning. Hand going v. numb as I write.

Clothes feeling v. tight a lot of the time. Ascites?

18.12.02 Still have itchy rear end. Severe in early hours - leapt out of bed & put Calamine lotion on after cleaning briefly with wet cotton wool. V. effective.

There seems to be pinkish gunge coming from the area, sometimes a bit of blood.

Odd smell there - not sure if just v. dilute poo! Not painful. There does seem to be a lump.

19.12.02 Tried to view rear end to see what was causing problems. Could see 2 white areas but could not see if they were prominent or not.

21.12.02 Still waking with numb hands & forearm (right one today - not sure if it varies). Strangely it doesn’t seem to be the side I have been lying on, unless I turn over just before waking.

Can’t find next book so don’t know if continues this year.


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