Health diary 1997-8

1.1.97 Hand hurting, also arm a bit, after writing a letter of just 2 sides of A5.

Heavy sweats despite v. cold weather. Otherwise quite well until about 2030, then spasmodic & fairly bad g.p. & wind. Accompanying perceptual disturbances, as often have.

2.1.97 Sweating for long time despite extreme cold. V. sleepy after cornflakes midday. Things seem to be undulating. Itchy rash on back of right hand again. 2-3 small spots turning into tiny scabs. Groin pain unlike usual IBS - more the type that I think of as bladder infection.

Clothes have been v. electric lately - have had to take jumper off v. slowly due to profuse sparking.

4.1.97 Severe eye strain in evening - painful. Had to give up at times & close eyes. Have appointment at opticians on 13th.

5.1.97 Went woozy & sweaty in afternoon. Watching video’d film & had eaten tortilla chips & bourbon biscuits. Dizzy & clumsy & hallucinated a man outside back of house - it was my jeans on washing line but I really jumped!

Counted no. of times I visited loo from this p.m. to tomorrow. Total 22, 4 for defecation. (I’d call it an average or reasonably good day)

10.1.97 Finding it increasingly difficult (and mildly painful) to stand up after kneeling down. The problem seems to be in the muscles at the front of the thigh above the knee. V. stiff, weak & slow to respond. Tend to support self with arm(s) as it makes it easier. It actually hurts when I bend knees. Weather has turned warmer and damp.

13th Prescribed stronger glasses. Given bifocals but had problems; then given slightly weaker ordinary glasses.

14.1.97 Feeling irritable & uneasy. Hair v. electric & sticking to head. A few days ago M (about 10-year-old cat) & I had a mild shock when I stroked her. There was no audible ‘fizz’.

16.1.97 Chilblain on right big toe quite bad again - covers almost whole toe. Smaller ones on other toes on right foot. Slimy discharge again.

17.1.97 Discharge still. Legs aching. Sneezing quite often during last 2-3 days.

18.1.97 Have been clenching teeth quite a lot during last week or so.

Mouth ulcers & spot near mouth. Took a Diflucan 150 (fluconazole).

Have given up sage tea due to no effect on sweating.

19.1.97 Still slimy. Knees have been a bit better during last few days.

20.1.97 Breasts so heavy, tender & aching that had to wear bra. Woozy spell in town (not unusual). Lethargic.

Breasts so painful at bedtime that had to wear a bra in bed. Particularly tender on lower side. Ns inexplicably erect. Erotic-type vaginal spasms.

21.1.97 Slime again. Randy feeling again. Less armpit sweating lately (past week?) but no less in crotch. Left ear itchy & sore inside. Sweating heavily in afternoon after 2 cups of tea & a phone call. Eyes went woozy at same time. Also became flushed & cheeks felt hot.

22.1.97 Felt v. randy early a.m. (physically - in vagina). V. sleepy when time to get up; although had had about 10 hrs sleep I felt as though I could sleep for a lot longer. Legs sluggish.

Had quite bad g.p. last night so Diflucan doesn’t seem to have helped - maybe my IBS is not due to Candida.

24.1.97 Almost nodded off in afternoon while watching tele. Had had plenty of sleep last night (over 8 hours, & lot of dreams)

25.1.97 Breasts not aching any more. Don’t have ravenous appetite on getting up any more (as used to before O/D). Less bowel urgency & diarrhoea than formerly as well.

Brief dizzy spell midday shortly after standing up after bending or kneeling.

27.1.97 Sweating heavily much of day. Dizzy standing up after bending in garden.

28.1.97 Sweating heavily again. V. jittery & anxious at times & not always sleeping as well as have since hospital stay. Tried climbing small tree (an easy one, with excellent hand- and foot-holds). Had to give up due to lack of strength in limbs, poss. exacerbated by need to urinate.

Disorientation/blurred vision in afternoon. Going from feeling too cold to too hot & back again, etc.

29.1.97 Profuse sweating p.m. + flushing - cheeks feeling hot. 2 attacks of extreme sleepiness.

30.1.97 Hand got quite painful after not a huge amount of writing (back of hand between index finger & wrist, I think) Sweating heavily p.m. Bowels & bladder quite good today. Hand/wrist ache spread up forearm & persisted.

3.2.97 Quite severe urinary frequency

4.2.97 Had to get taxi to take I to and from vets as not strong enough to carry her down the hill in basket.

5.2.97 Left knee quite painful on bending it. Pain is just below knee, at front.

6.2.97 Left knee better on getting up but soon hurting again. Mild pain in right knee. Weather damp & warmish. Getting sleepy a lot.

7.2.97 Appeared to pull muscle at back of left knee this morning.

10.2.97 Bowels quite good lately in that stools are relatively firm. Left knee still bad; better after night’s sleep but not for long. Sitting, kneeling & coming down stairs are difficult/painful. Have started using arms to ease self into & out of chair, & descending stairs without bending left knee (so it takes twice as long)

Weight back to 8st - too many biscuits, chips, etc! (& not much exercise)

11.2.97 Slime a.m. Have been feeling bit randy & am sore in clitoris area. Not much sweating last few days. Brief spell of severe g.p. in evening(,) not the usual persistent, dull, pressure-on-bladder & sleepiness type but waves of pain, bad enough to make me vocalise. Attack of frequency at bedtime - every 20 mins (at least) for over an hour.

12.2.97 Minor slime.

13.2.97 Minor slime. Headache (due to windy weather?) Have stopped eating biscuits (for about 2 days so far) V. randy p.m. Have masturbated twice in last few days after not doing so for long time (years?). Once was tonight. Is this good sign, bad sign or just result of infection? Mood good lately in that I’m not depressed, but some anxiety, perhaps reasonable though rather than neurotic. (i.e. well-founded)

Several small, soft, tenuous b.m.s in evening, which I’d previously associated with biscuits. Maybe it’s associated with slime, or simply sugar (had cereal, toast & marmalade & 3 well-sugared coffees today as well as tea)

14.2.97 Diarrhoea a.m. Sweaty. Knees not hurting (well, hardly at all) until midday. Left one started hurting after (repeated) sitting down for ½ hour. Pain varied throughout day. Weather colder but still wet. Quite bad nagging (typical) g.p. in evening, causing tiredness & urinary frequency.

16.2.97 Knee variable, as yesterday. Nausea a.m. Was slightly sick on belching one day recently, shortly after meal.

17.2.97 Bad urinary frequency tonight, having been milder recently. Profuse, rancid sweating at times during day.

18.2.97 Urinary frequency (every ½ hr or so) & profuse, rancid sweating at times - could feel it running down trunk. Knees variable - painful at times (esp. if had been sitting slightly awkwardly) but not too bad. Having to descend stairs without bending left one most times except first thing in morning. Slight discharge.

Vivid dreams lately, of a rather anxious kind generally.

20.2.97 Dizzy in library when standing after bending or crouching.

21.2.97 Many small, rather loose, b.m.s. today. Runny nose, randies (mild-ish). It’s a common problem to feel as though I’ve had very slight urinary leakage due to pressure from passing wind either involuntarily or forceably (spelling error!).

22.2.97 Knees not too bad today. Quite bad pain at times in left one on kneeling. May be worse when I tense up due to expecting pain. Diarrhoea a.m.

27.2.97 Have had diarrhoea for about a week (a.m.) Sudden evening attack today. Still off biscuits. Have been having small amounts of hot pickle.

28.2.97 Quite severe pain in mid-abdomen a.m. when bending. Belching a fair bit earlier. Ulcer? Even more severe pain in groin p.m. - several bouts with ½ - 1 minute between. Slight discharge immediately afterwards - actually apparently a late bit of menstruation. I often get severe shooting pain before period too (usually just once)

3.3.97 Have had ringing in ears a couple of times in last week, on going to bed. Electronic-sounding whine (high-pitched), sometimes on 2 notes. Not too bothersome & either doesn’t last long or doesn’t stop me falling asleep.

5.3.97 Upset in evening by row with Bs over their dogs. Cried briefly. If I’d had a bottle I would have hit it. Considered going into town to get a drink but settled for a joint (first since last July) Not much effect as old grass. Took a while to get to sleep. When upset (& frightened by dogs) I became nauseous & shaky & a bit sweaty. Pulse racing.

6.3.97 V. tired & pale. Difficulty thinking clearly due to tiredness but not as upset as last night. Still have diarrhoea a.m. Eyes v. bleary, neck aching a bit. Incipient headache.

7.3.97 (crossed out, presumably because in wrong book) S chased up tree c.1800 by all 3 dogs - he must have been in field or poss. just outside it, as tree was just on railway side of fence.

(not crossed out) Bit nauseous in late evening. Chest & stomach a bit fluttery.

8.3.97 Nauseous on waking. Better by midday, but some fluttering in chest area still.

9.3.97 Left knee not too bad lately, although I sometimes have to ‘hop’ downstairs. Felt it clicking this morning as I came downstairs. Bent it a lot today but still not v. painful by evening.

V. little underarm sweating for last week. Have used antiperspirant but that was a week ago (haven’t washed armpits since! I’m fed up with clothes disintegrating in washing machine, so that’s my excuse for not washing.)

10.3.97 Diarrhoea after breakfast & v. mild nausea. Slight burning in rectum.

16.3.97 Have noticed that left thigh is slightly distended at front about 4" above knee - the area which is still quite numb since stay in hospital. Residual oedema?

Took 2 paracetamol c.1300 & managed to write 5-6 pages of A4. Hand & upper arm hurt a bit but it was bearable. Possibly better when keep arm & hand more relaxed. Eyes coped well too. Could paracetamol help them? Feeling unusually alive tonight. Knee pain v. mild.* No IBS. Only real problem urinary frequency. (‘normal’ frequency)

*Completely absent later!

18.3.97 Have had 3 or 4 ‘good days’ with little weakness or fatigue.

Still get dizzy spells when standing after crouching or kneeling. Quite bad one when on walk today - lasted a few seconds. Eyes quite bad this evening. Bladder bad as usual. Limbs still quite good.

20.3.97 Persistent headache after long walk in fields in sun. Attack of semi-diarrhoea early on in walk (about 1000)

27.3.97 Slight slime. Legs aching over last 2-3 days.

28.3.97 Headache a.m. Legs still aching. Slime p.m.

30.3.97 Slime p.m. Aching all over a.m. & feeling bit low. Bit better later. There is a bug going around.

31.3.97 Slime p.m. Non-IBS-type groin pains at times (mild). Have had lot of randy spells during last few days

7.4.97 Legs weak & aching since at least yesterday. Period 2 weeks late.

8.4.97 Legs still weak & aching. Quite severe randiness. V. statically electric.

Wonder if leg ache is due to crouching by ditch while rescuing tadpoles?

13.4.97 Legs better. Still electric - even became so in open air when packing earth round pond.

Hands getting terribly dry lately - visibly flaking, v. rough & catching on fabric. Due to handing clay?

15.4.97 Have had brief spells of mild nausea over last 2 days. Worrying bout when getting up, & a milder one in late evening. Sweating & slight chest pain (just right of centre) during latter.

17.4.97 Feel as though I have a genital or urinary infection - twinges low in groin seeming to be linked with urge to urinate. Hands v. dry again although no clay handling till late p.m. Maybe sorting ash dries them (from grate - taking out unburnt coal)

18.4.97 Alternating nausea & hunger, sometimes combination of 2. Discharge or remnants of period. Burning & runny nose early p.m.

19.4.97 Pains in bladder or urinary tract on passing water - feels like muscles. Only lasted ½ - 1 hr as on 17th. Discharge later, so maybe it’s genital (bit like period pains)

*No IBS for (weeks?). Still can’t read or write for long, & once I’ve reached my limit I have to rest eyes/hand for at least an hour or 2.

Several near-accidents with bladder, but only getting up 4-5 times a night. Most difficult to control when sitting down or getting up from sitting, lying or kneeling. Left knee intermittently painful still. Seems worse when tense, which I often am when anticipating pain!

Have often had numerous bowel movements in a day. They’re sometimes apparently brought on by stress or intense thinking.

*Spoke too soon! G.p. started c.1730. Have been sitting indoors studying, typing & reading for 1st time in weeks (outdoors & active previously due to hot dry weather) Colder today - cold wind. V. sleepy early p.m. although had only had a sandwich.

Mild pain in upper right abdomen in evening - feels like swollen liver.

A few days ago I had mild-ish pain just right of middle of chest.

24.4.97 Slime. Trying to give up scratching genital area & pulling off scabs & skin, but slime is making area damp, sticky & consequently irritated. Also causing pad to stick to me.

Aching limbs lately (esp. legs) & tiredness in arms. Not sleeping as well as usual. Attacks of extreme sleepiness during day. Shitting frequently. Due to Candida? Discharge (slime) most copious during bowel movements.

27.4.97 Headachey & congested. Find it v. hard to concentrate when have even mild headache. Light intolerance as bad as ever - trouble seeing to take washing off line.

28.4.97 Headachey, congested & feverish a.m. again. (Tend to be better p.m. Could woodworm treatment fluid used on wardrobe & dressing table be implicated? - brought them in from garage a couple of weeks ago. Prob. not. Prob. candida?)

4.5.97 Have just noticed that left knee isn’t hurting! Extreme dryness of hands has stopped (because I haven’t handled much clay over last few days?) but am getting night thirsts again, which I hadn’t had for weeks or months.

10.5.97 Woozy, headachey & at times nauseous for most of day. Better in evening.

11.5.97 Rectal discomfort all day; feeling of incomplete evacuation. B.m.s slow & a bit difficult. Uncomfortable to sit with weight on anal region. Accompanying leg-ache. Slept v. badly, due to discomfort I think - still awake at 0300.

12.5.97 Still slow b.m.s until mid-breakfast, then a dash. Still bit uncomfortable afterwards.

14.5.97 Headachey & woozy on waking - lasted hours. Also pain & tightness in back of neck.

15.5.97 Brown discharge a.m. after straining at stool.

17.5.97 Slime a.m.

18.5.97 Slime a.m.

21.5.97 No hangover a.m. following birthday drinks (2 G&Ts, 2 pts beer & 2 glasses wine. G&Ts may have been doubles & one glass of wine was port)

In evening/late afternoon I developed slight abdominal pain & backache. At midnight I had v. bad attack of diarrhoea & vomiting. Diarrhoea liquid & copious, vomit thick & copious. Poss. all food eaten today had come up. Maybe too much fatty food. V. cold, shivering violently after d & v - had to put on layers of clothes & dressing gown & have hot water bottle (had been in bed - went to bed 2100 as tired)

22.5.97 Feeling bit better but weak & unable to face food. Still getting slime, mainly a.m.

Stomach pain after eating, & tight feeling round waist. Feared that I might have a repeat of last night but was OK. 1st good night’s sleep for 3 days.

26.5.97 Sense of taste seems dull lately. Nose rather blocked up today - some sort of hay fever?

28.5.97 Head- & neck-achy a.m. Often have considerable discomfort while reading, but at other times I can read for a couple of hours.

30.5.97 Still have nasal congestion, & superficial bleeding when blow nose. Breasts have been heavy & aching for days. Gave in today and put a bra on.

No trouble with knees for some time, except pain if I kneel for more than about 5 mins.

14.6.97 Bit nauseous since yesterday evening.

17.6.97 Painful clitoris (just in everyday actions like sitting & walking) & some slime a.m.

18.6.97 As above.

19.6.97 Painful clitoris p.m. Quite a lot of persistent IBS g.p. over past week, sometimes starting as early as mid-afternoon. Seems to make no difference what I eat.

1.7.97 Nose burning & congested; eyes bleary. Cut lawn yesterday.

8.7.97 Have had bouts of extreme sleepiness, also weakness esp. in legs, for several days. Doesn’t last very long (½ hr - 1 hr max) Maybe not sleeping well. Vivid dreams (often about M, cat whom lost recently) & sometimes night sweats. (Added 2017: NB M was sister of Bruce, whose disappearance in 1994 appeared to start this illness.) Edgy & irritable,

11.7.97 Getting increasingly tired - think that I’m not getting enough sleep (or good enough quality sleep)

12.7.97 Slime early a.m.

14.7.97 Still sleeping poorly, & feeling nervous & jittery & irritable. Also getting dizzy after leaning head downwards when sitting or kneeling (e.g. looking in pond)

Could problems be due to histamine released in response to grass pollen & insect bites?

18.7.97 Slept until 1000 (not continuously, of course) & had afternoon doze yesterday. Still don’t feel v. refreshed, & still fatigued.

Nostrils ‘burning’ quite painfully while walking into town, making nose run. Had picked some flowering grass stems earlier. Hedge bedstraw in very full flower, smelling strongly.

Took Nytol One-A-Night. Still woke up several times during night, but slept in till about 0930.

19.7.97 Woozy all morning.

24.7.97 Test by visiting continence nurse showed blood in urine. Had noticed for about a week that urine was orange in colour, but had put it down to eating beetroot.

28.7.97 Seemed to be a blue deposit at bottom of washing-up bowl when emptied dirty water out this morning. From copper pipes?

1.8.97 Have been feeling fed-up lately (last few days). Tense, having re-started on old nervous habit of fiddling with hair.

Today I had a ‘woozy’ attack shortly before bout of groin pain in early evening. Had not yet had early evening meal. Had previously thought that g.p. did not come on until after a largish meal. This is also first time that associated wooziness preceded g.p. (that I’d observed).

3.8.97 Mildish headache on far left side of forehead accompanied by mild asthma developed fairly suddenly in early evening. Had hennaed hair. Raining all day. Fairly sedentary day. Eyes feeling ‘sinusy’ (slightly sure/gritty) Headache went after I took paracetamol (one) except when bending down - then it hurt again until I rested again.

Poss. cause: insect bite on left ankle caused intense itching for a while earlier.

Getting hot flushes/sweats quite often in late evening - have to take off layers of clothing suddenly, & forehead feels coolish to touch (normally feels warm or hot) This occurred in hospital last year, when temperature was found to be raised and I was given paracetamol to bring it down, until staff realised that it happened every night but was normal in morning. Considered to be a problem of homeostasis. (I think). Flushes (now) accompanied by especially bad itching in crotch (which becomes damp with sweat & thus v. uncomfortable). Sometimes quite brief.

6.8.97 Both ears aching slightly, tender inside, feeling inflamed like when I had a boil in one. Had been working on computer for much of day - connection? Pain particularly near front - it’s tender when I press the cartilaginous flap.

8.8.97 Attack of coughing & bronchitic sensation in chest immediately after a helicopter flew over fairly low. It had flown over higher shortly before. Could aircraft cause sudden mixing of air layers, causing respiratory problems? Initially I felt as though I had dust or fine grit in throat) Weather overcast & starting to get misty after sunny but humid day. Don’t think sky had been very blue - more hazy.

Found small lump on left side of neck in evening (about ½ way up) Not tender.

Tiny ‘blister’ like insect bite about ½” from it.

Have had slight discharge at times for a day or so, plus extreme randiness.

9.8.97 Slime p.m. I think

13.8.97 Keep getting aching legs. (Last few days)

16.8.97 Slime a.m.

18.8.97 Have had intermittent mild urinary discharge for a week or so (hot feeling)

19.8.97 Used VetKem Acclaim in front bedroom. Active ingredients S - methoprene & permethrin. Covered mouth & nose with damp flannel held on with scarf.

20.8.97 Used VetKem in back bedroom.

21.8.97 Fleas still rampant in front bedroom so sprayed again. Kept door closed for about 8 hrs, but when went in fleas were jumping onto me still.

Having to take Nytol (anti-histamine) every night at moment due to fleas.

1.9.97 Copious slime accompanying start of period (1 wk late) Passed man spraying weedkiller in D Road.

4.9.97 Have had slightly aching breasts for some of the time over last 2 days, as if period was due rather than in progress. Yesterday & today I’ve had a fair amount of nausea & headaches (mild) Limbs have been weaker & aching.

5.9.97 Bladder-type groin pain when out shopping. Mild urinary discomfort. Bout of woosiness on returning home.

7.9.97 Not taking Nytol now; sleeping OK & long. Still weak & achy & have signs of being run-down: lips sore & dry, palms a bit dry, occasional spots almost developing on chin, occasional cuticular splitting, sleepiness even after good night’s sleep.

Unable to crouch for more than about 2 mins (aching & weakness become overwhelming). Writing becomes slightly painful after less than an A4 page, & becomes small or untidy.

9.9.97 Still getting occasional nausea. This evening it was accompanied by discharge & slight sweating. Also sudden weakness, aching, disorientation & visual & auditory hallucinations (as used to have quite often) But no g.p. tonight (unlike last few evenings).

Mild headache for few mins, then facial tic for few mins followed by about a minute of facial muscle or nerve being rigid or taut. Then slight pins & needles/cramp in right foot. Facial tic was on left side.

Had 2 gin & tonics earlier but that’s not unusual at moment.

Inadvertently inhaled someone’s strong perfume in early afternoon, I think.

10.9.97 Sinusy & a bit headachey a.m. Eyes red & sore-looking.

12.9.97 Woozy, ‘disconnected’, red-eyes & headachey soon after returning from shopping in afternoon. Better after 1 paracetamol, although wooziness returned briefly about an hour later. Flushed after a glass of Liebfraumilch.

Bladder v. weak a.m. Visual disturbances (as I intend to rename my ‘hallucinations’ except when they are really vivid.

18.9.97 Legs still aching & tired. Bouts of sleepiness. Have had a couple more headachey days with visual disturbance since last entry but better now.

Sudden inexplicable feelings of calmness & cheerfulness this afternoon. Later found that I was menstruating lightly, although I should be about mid-cycle. Had thought that pleasant mood was due to having just sent off last OU assignment of year & discovered that I could use my better program in exam. Funny feeling in front half of scalp for while in evening - cross between pressure & tingling.

23.9.97 Cold sore on lower lip. Mild cystitis.

24.9.97 Getting mild headaches frequently (due to revision?) This evening I had the type that throbs when I lower my head (e.g. when searching for cats’ ping-pong balls)

30.9.97 Slime a.m. Feeling v. hot

1.10.97 Slime a.m. V. hot again in bed. Ambient temperature in low 60s F.

3.10.97 Urinary discomfort p.m. Developed into cystitis. Bad night despite smoke & Nytol - getting up every hr - ½ hr to urinate, which burned.

4.10.97 Urination burned quite a lot at times & felt like hadn’t finished. Urine bloodstained at one point. Had 2 whole cloves of garlic in breakfast. Drank 10 pts water, some with lemon slices. Still uncomfortable in evening. Took 2 Gerard House Echinacea tablets after evening meal.

Slight bloodstaining in urine again late p.m. Had been OK since this morning (blood-wise) & urination had been intermittently painless & burning. 2 cloves raw garlic with evening meal.

5.10.97 Thought I was OK a.m. but the full-bladder/burning feeling returned when I stood up. Had 2 cloves raw garlic in breakfast & 2 Echinacea tablets after. Water cure again, using 1 tsp sod bic per pint for 3 pints.

Feeling cold although temp in loo 60°F.

(Arthritic?) grating in back of neck when turning head. Developed pale, liquid diarrhoea prob due to sod bic. 2 Echinacea after ‘midday’ sandwich. Stubborn mild headache developed in evening.

2 Echinacea after each meal (3 per day) In evening I felt as though an organ around middle of abdomen was swollen (on right, I think)

Neck still grating late p.m. Visual disturbance. Headache is the type that is exacerbated by movement, esp. lowering head, when a ‘lump’ of pain occurs around left eye.

6.10.97 Burning on urination (& making me want to go) almost gone, but a dullish ache like period pain remains in groin. Felt v. hot on getting up although ambient temperature lower than yesterday.

Central abdomen aching when I laugh. Still have dull ache in upper mid-groin. Started taking Trimethoprim 200 mg this afternoon.

Paracetamol had no impact on pain which became very wearing, but started to fade in late evening. (Maybe at least partly IBS) Gone by midnight

Bad night due to very frequent urination.

7.10.97 No pain!

Have noticed (general observation) that my sweat (armpits & crotch) often smells of what I’ve eaten, e.g. spices, chips)

Bout of mild nausea/woosiness c. midday. Also feeling lower than usual mentally.

Dull upper abdominal pain/tenderness. Tenderness esp. in central upper abdomen - when press there I feel ‘winded’ (short of breath)

Fighting to stay awake mid-late afternoon while studying.

Stomach seems to be struggling to cope with food - maybe gut flora have been killed by antibiotics. Belching.

Stomach pain when tying laces soon after eating in evening.

More hallucinations than usual.

8.10.97 Randy a.m. Slight urinary burning again later. Took last antibiotic. Unusual smooth, lightish pungent motions last thing tonight.

Stomach area felt similar to yesterday, & was belching quite a lot again.

13.10.97 Profuse sweating but weather cold.

15.10.97 Eyes aching a lot today. Have been revising intensively for weeks.

16.10.97 Eyes hurting as soon as put glasses on. I’ve had this problem before, accompanies as now by (slighting) (erroneous word, I think) ‘swimming’ of writing in front of my eyes & variations in light & darkness, which are in form of blotches.

Managed to revise all day. Took 2 paracetamol in morning. Not too bad rest of day.

19.10.97 While cooking breakfast I developed blocked feeling, burning & slightly runny nose, v. hot feeling, slight nausea & mild headache around eyes, which felt sore. ‘Sinusy’ feeling. Had to take paracetamol & close kitchen curtains as heat & light was causing discomfort. Slight leg ache/weakness too. Had only had a cup of tea.

22.10.97 Mildish persistent pain in groin p.m. (bladder? gynae?) accompanied by pink discharge like beginning or end of period.

Stinging rash of raised red spots & weals on both forearms noticed in evening. Only noticed when touched. Had been cutting spruce hedge for a couple of hours.

25.10.97 Sudden need to defecate p.m. (not unusual) but accompanied by vag. slime containing pink bits. Had eaten a lot of ginger biscuits.

26.10.97 Rash on forearms again after hedge-cutting.

27.10.97 Came over v. sleepy in evening. Have also had intermittent discharge for few days. Rather weak as well as sleepy. Some quite mild pain occasionally today & yesterday in bladder or reproductive organs & once or twice in bowels (I think - near small of back).

Sleepiness gone within an hour or 2.

Urine alarmingly red in early hours of morning, accompanied by mild lower back pain. Back to near-normal (orangey yellow) later, & pain was short-lived.

1.11.97 Strong chemical smell in air outside @ 1030. Solvent? Like glue. NB the valley here concentrates pollutants; during rush hours the smell of exhaust fumes is v. bad, esp. when weather misty, I think (like today) (or is this just from a neighbour’s old van?)

Smell lasted about an hour, soon after which a young visitor to No. 1 departed in an open-topped car.

Sniffers? (I think that’s the word, but can’t figure out meaning. Maybe referring to possibility of youngster sniffing substance)

7.11.97 Woke up with hiccups. Have had IBS gp for last 3 evenings, yesterday also had tic in right eye (it kept getting ‘stuck’)

Gp this morning too (unusual in mornings) Have had about 2 glasses of white wine (German) per evening during last 3 or 4 days, which I do sometimes nowadays. Eating spicy tomatoey TVP, butter beans, veg. & rice, as opposed to nut roast for previous few months. Sometimes having chips, sometimes toast & peanut butter & occasionally ginger biscuits.

Breakfast has been veggie sausage & beans on toast for last week or so instead of tofu on toast. Have had no mushrooms for about a week.

Have been using Co-op Soya margarine instead of types from Health Food Shop for last few days. Contains annatto.

Haematuria appears to have stopped. Specimen provided over a week ago tested negative (I presume they tested for blood) but it was produced in morning, & the worst haematuria has been at night.

8.11.97 Deep, painful chap over top joint of 3rd finger on left hand. Surrounding area darkened & a bit swollen. Seems to have developed from an area where I had rubbed skin off doing some washing by hand (using pure olive oil soap)

Weather not cold.

10.11.97 Slime a.m. (briefly). Have had bad excess of secretions in crotch lately - getting through lot of sanitary towels as hardly dry for any length of time. Some is vaginal discharge but largely sweat (as usual). Appalling smell when not cleaned quickly. (Sour/sweet. ‘Putrid’ perhaps.) (Added bracket here as deleted after ‘sweet’ but not re-added) Losing battle with washing. After bath or wash I’m soon wet and itchy again, with skin rough & scabby. Sometimes wonder whether should let the good bacteria battle it out with the bad, but can’t endure the smell & itching for long enough to try it.

11.11.97 Slime with brownish tinge a.m. Ditto p.m.

Early night due to pain throughout pelvic region from groin to lower back.

Also feel as though have pulled muscle at top of left thigh, then right knee! (Poss. due to walking awkwardly due to groin discomfort)

12.11.97 Brown-tinged slime a.m. Mild persistent headache in evening but no g.p. for most of evening. It had been bad for a week or so.

Chap on finger still bad - opened & bled when bent finger. Think it’s lengthened.

14.11.97 Still getting mild but annoying headaches at times: this evening accompanied by flushing & woosiness. There is a cold or flu going round. Gut pain less frequent again.

Hair getting greasy v. quickly.

16.11.97 Headaches gone. Have been looser in mornings lately - since switching diet I think (as well as breakfast change I started having TVP with rice instead of nut roast).

Back on tofu for breakfast.

Feeling rather tense & irritable.

17.11.97 Nausea & mild headache (with tense mild pain in back of neck & just above) + brief randiness in early evening.

Chap has healed but I now have a very tender area (looks like a small nick or split) just above nail on left thumb.

24.11.97 Small amount of vomit came into mouth when belched about 2 hrs after breakfast (beans, veggie sausage, toast & tea) Mild headache.

Headache recurred throughout day with accompanying wooziness. Easily controlled with 1 paracetamol every few hours.

Weak & sweaty.

30.11.97 Sleepy attacks in late afternoon today & yesterday, following wheatflakes & soya milk.

3.12.97 Hair electric - sticking to me. Still getting greasy v. quickly. Painful sparks when took clothes off (& audible).

Weather cold (frost & ice)

4.12.97 Groin pain (mild) most of day - feels like bladder or reproductive area. Randy last night, relieved by DIY - could pain be muscular?

Lot of auditory confusion lately. (Unable to understand what sounds are, or where they’re coming from) (Added missing bracket here)

Sometimes can’t tell what octave they’re in - hear high sound as low and v.v.

7.12.97 Urine v. orange in early hours, as when I thought I had haematuria. HOWEVER - I had eaten a small amount of beetroot last night - the first for some time. I was also eating beetroot when I had my previous orange urine. Maybe it never was blood! (Although the visiting nurse found some)

NB ‘Electricity’ mentioned on 4th (3rd?) disappeared when weather became mild (yesterday, I think)

9.12.97 Slime a.m.

12.12.97 About 3 quite severe pains in groin, lasting up to about 30 seconds each. Made me yell. Ovulation?

15.12.97 Right eye often twitching on getting ‘stuck’ (spasm?)

2nd smallest toe on right foot is reddened, swollen & tender. Chilblain, I expect. Weather quite cold but not severe.

Right eye bloodshot. Have had moderate IBS every evening for last several nights. Have been using computer a lot lately.

18.12.97 Have had wet armpits for 2 days! Today I was thirsty a lot of the time, although drinking usual amount.

28.12.97 Chilblain slowly getting better. Right eye twitching & sticking quite a lot. (Still using computer a lot)

7.1.98 Had occasional severe twinges in groin after end of last period, (as have had before during past year) & pink vaginal discharge when defecating.

For last few days I have been feeling uneasy & this evening I started feeling anxious c. 2200 (OK earlier - quite cheerful in fact) Have had a few unpleasant experiences over past week - accidentally killing a mouse I was trying to rescue, almost trapping C’s (added - cat’s) head in door, reminding me of how mouse was killed (trapping by neck, breaking neck or windpipe, causing convulsions - very unpleasant), then seeing a shrew having convulsions, having been injured by C, & I drowned it in bath. Also worried about I’s (cat brought from London) health, as her kidneys are failing.

Occasional flutterings in chest (last 2 days) Also lot of visual and auditory perceptual difficulty - latter particularly - totally unable to identify sounds at times, which causes anxiety.

13.1.98 Often have metallic taste in mouth after eating or drinking, e.g. after coffee (organic, boiled) & satsumas.

14.1.98 Including tonight, I have been having difficulty getting comfortable in bed (with arms round 1 or 2 cats!) due to muscle pain in arms Feels as thought (meaning ‘though’) muscle is very taut, & several positions are painful (not severely, but enough to prevent sleep)

15.1.98 Arm muscles aching when pulling shopping trolley - had to keep alternating.

Slime p.m. + wide-on. (meaning v. wide open)

17.1.98 Some slime a.m. & yesterday.

20.1.98 Bout of coughing (tickle in throat) following helicopter flying moderately high overhead while I was outside. Found later that there was a serious fire about a mile away (agricultural machine depot, I think)

22.1.98 Have a cold, which is quite unusual (& I had 2 satsumas & a glass of pineapple juice yesterday as well as 1g of Vit. C!). Fairly copious discharge.

23.1.98 Cold symptoms have gone (mild, sinusy-type headache & nasal congestion). 2-3 pts Murphys’ stout last night.

Face became flushed in evening, as did last night. Last night it followed meal (spicy sauce with TVP, peas, veg., coconut, yeast extract, tahini, tom puree & rice) & pineapple juice. Tonight it followed coffee & a sip of pineapple juice.

26.1.98 Arm muscles (esp. upper) still v. weak & aching quite a lot. It’s hard to do anything that involves raising them, e.g. putting things on washing line.

No IBS tonight, unlike previous 2 or 3 days. Did not have usual TVP in sauce - just a plate of chips.

27.1.98 Still have copious & vivid dreams (some worrying, some not); felt quite mentally drained this morning when woke after particularly heavy bout. Decided hadn’t got the mental energy for any more, so got up!

29.1.98 Quite copious slime a.m. Muscles still weak & often aching.

30.1.98 Period came on 8 days late. Slight discomfort while wearing tampons, presumably due to infection. Still have slime. (It continued all day yesterday)

1.2.98 Lung congestion developed during day. Had shovelled up some coal dust earlier, & stood outside for 5 or 10 mins. Weather cold. Slime gone (temporarily)

Chest felt better after balm, thyme & oregano tea

Nausea in early evening after coffee & crispbread with peanut butter. Chesty again. Voice hoarse. Appetite good.

2.2.98 Still congested. Some loose phlegm. Stubborn but mild headache. Still v. hungry but don’t fancy anything heavy or large - lots of bread & toast snacks/meals.

Headache not responding v. well to paracetamol. Some nausea early in day, esp. when coughed.

Nose v. runny by evening. Feel cold. Headache & neckache all night.

3.2.98 Full-blown head cold. Headache responded to 2 paracetamol at 0700. Lost sense of taste, but can still detect salt & sugar. Slime back with a vengeance, mixed with menstrual blood.

4.2.98 Feeling much better as day progressed. Headache gone by evening. Still have catarrh in nose & on chest.

5.2.98 Better still, though still coughing a bit. Appetite poor - hard to get food down.

6.2.98 Appetite still poor. Sense of smell recovering slowly. Very weak on exertion, though as usual I can walk perfectly normally on level surfaces. Upper arm muscles still taut & aching much of time. ACh (I think) building up? Copious belching for a(n) hour or more after even small meals, while feeling very full (up to base of throat)

7.2.98 Still v. weak on exertion. Upper arms, esp left one, aching considerably even when resting.

9.2.98 Upper left arm still aching much of time. OK when first get up, but once I’ve used the muscle it’s hurting for most of day, even after I’ve gone to bed.

11.2.98 Still coughing up phlegm. Appetite OK now but not eating quite as much as before cold/flu.

Think that my sleep pattern has changed since overdose. Don’t seem to have the pleasant dozy phase between sleeping and waking & while falling asleep - just go straight from awake to fast asleep. Do get v. sleepy at times during some days, but it wears off after about ½ hr. Sleep well now; insomnia mercifully rare. Sometimes 9 or 10 hrs a night! (Maybe being lazy)

12.2.98 Arm better today, despite quite strenuous activity for about 1½ hrs (emptying compost tumbler) Did find going hard though, esp. sweeping with broom & shovelling up compost.

13.2.98 Woke suddenly c 0500, poss. due to C jumping on bed, with quite nasty tinnitus, the worst sound being a high whine similar to that when TV broadcasting has finished. Managed to ignore it (with some effort) & get back to sleep. It persisted while I relieved myself & after I returned to bed. Upper left arm moderately painful in evening, poss. exacerbated by lugging shopping trolley down steps from church yard & to D Rd.

14.2.98 Accidentally turned grill on with toaster on top. Although feet of toaster were only slightly hot, there was a strong smell & I had a mildly choking sensation for a while afterwards (a little bit like on receiving anaesthetic gas).

15.2.98 Slime.

16.2.98 Slime. Nausea a.m. Also randy & weak. Went & lay down till 1500. Could hear fluid sloshing about in stomach when moved. Belching a lot. Left upper arm aching (as was yesterday) Had v. little pain on 14th (I think).

Causes?: burned shrub clippings on fire yesterday (hydrangea & shrubs against hedge). NB illness is prob. due to an infection - see over.

Had chips, mushrooms & veggie sausage last night for 1st time since had cold.

Handling composted cat litter yesterday & 2 days before.

Scratched hand when weeding on 14th.

A strong wind has developed (SW I think)

S visited yesterday & smoked.

I still have bronchial catarrh.

Feel chilled although temp. in extension 53°F @ 1630

V. sleepy during early part of day. Think I slept when lay down in bed.

Sustained a number of insect bites over last 3 days while outside.

Felt a bit better in evening after 2 paracetamol (& arm-ache decreased) but appetite still extremely poor. Seems nausea & sleepiness are due to a bug that’s going round - T says people are going sick from work with it.

17.2.98 Another bout of nausea early a.m. (c. 0200?) Took 2 paracetamols & was OK since. (Am surprised if paracetamol cures nausea - I actually took it mainly for neck-ache & headachey-tinnititusy feeling.)

Still v. weak on getting up but feel OK otherwise.

Bouts of nausea around midday & in late evening. Eating a bit better & managed a normal meal in evening. Occasional dull enteritis-like twinges around midriff but no ensuing ‘trots’, thank goodness!

20.2.98 Started taking 1 Solgar Non-Dairy Acidophilus Plus capsule per day. They contain 20m viable L. acidophilus, B. bifidum & L. bulgaricus each. 2 are recommended per day.

No IBS g.p. tonight. Have had it most or all of last few evenings. Arms have not hurt for days (except slightly & temporarily on exertion)

Still have some annoying bronchial catarrh.

24.2.98 Since taking Acidophilus capsules I have had frequent mild, atypical groin pain (poss urinary or gynae), sore tongue & throat, & great thirst.

Coincidence? Or maybe I’m de-toxing. Very slight diarrhoea as well. Slight nausea a.m.

25.2.98 Mild IBS g.p. + wooziness p.m. (1st time since starting Acidophilus)

27.2.98 IBS p.m., causing considerable urinary continence difficulty esp. when coughing (in fact impossibility at times) Took another Acidophilus - will try taking 2 a day now.

1.3.98 Abdominal pain at various times, including morning, afternoon & evening, sometimes in groin, sometimes around midriff.

6.3.98 Dullish ache on left side of chest (above breast) at times.

Have had a lot of catarrh for some time so maybe throat-clearing/coughing has caused muscle pain.

Waves of inexplicable depression p.m. - maybe due to concern about I. (or maybe I’m under the weather, as she seems to be. Incidentally weather is wet, windy & fairly mild.)

Visual perception a bit odd, as it is when have g.p. but in its absence. v. vivid and copious dreams at present.

7.3.98 Inexplicable waves of anxiety at times (only occasional) Have also had fleeting ‘flutterings’ in chest lately.

Chest ache (see yesterday) absent during day but reappeared in evening.

8.3.98 Abdominal pain on waking. Maybe I don’t need Lactobacillus capsules as I don’t consume milk products, and the capsules are causing an excess of these bacteria with nothing to eat (could they then be eating bits of me?)

9.3.98 Bowel movements are sometimes rather slow since taking Acidophilus, sometimes accompanied by weak, aching legs (which hadn’t had for some time). Went woosy at A & M’s; hair v. electric when back home. (around midday)

10.3.98 Extreme physical randiness on going to bed, with orgasmic contractions & wide-ons for some time. (Completely involuntary) Ignored it.

NB Also today (wrote after 11th) Kept going dizzy on standing up after crouching in charity shop. (every time)

11.3.98 Sinus-type mild headache a.m. Slime later (slight, & pinkish). Randy attack in early evening. Sleepy & woosy attacks. Slight nausea later in evening.

(Assume meant for today rather than yesterday) V. randy at bedtime again - wide + contractions. Relieved it.

12.3.98 Pinkish slime. Slight headache. Another randy night.

13.3.98 Stabbing (but not severe) pains in groin - not like IBS intermittently throughout day.

Became v. bleary-eyed in early evening, & headachey, sinusy & hot around upper part of nose. Feel as though I have a slight cold (again? - that’s 3 bugs (including gastric bug) in less than 2 months - unusual for me).

IBS pain in later evening.

Pain in left ear due to excessive scratching, esp. towards front (just in front of the small lobe).

Pain spreading around jaw on left side. Have had pain since yesterday, but it fluctuates.

14.3.98 Still have ear pain. Hurts to laugh & smile. Eyes became tired/bleary after only short bouts of reading/word processing.

Headachey in evening; feeling feverish. Scabs forming in ear - hard to resist picking them (which caused the problem in first place) but I must try my hardest!

Don’t think that feverishness is due to ear problem.

Eating & talking hurt at times. (Took 5 paracetamol today.)

15.3.98 Jaw still hurting; controlled by paracetamol.

Breasts aching although last period only started on 3rd (& fizzled out somewhat, maybe due to cold or other infection or beginning of menopause)

Occasional stabbing groin pains still.

16.3.98 Ear & jaw pain almost gone - just after having twinges. Headachey after only 5 minutes word-processing though. Quite photophobic too.

18.3.98 Urinary discomfort in early evening. OK otherwise (apart from usual eye & other muscle problems) Think I had slight haematuria early a.m., poss due to 2 pts stout last night (and/or fried meal afterwards)

20.3.98 Clitoris still painful.

21.3.98 Clitoris still painful.

23.3.98 Clitoris still painful. Large spot between mouth & chin (on side) Popped middle but main body seems to be the surrounding ‘ring’ which is still well raised & a bit tender. Almost no pus from centre.

24.3.98 Nasal catarrh & fever including pain at back of neck & mild headache.

27.3.98 Vaginal irritation while wearing tampon.

30.3.98 Finished Acidophilus capsules (See 20.2.98)

Verdict: no benefit at all. Do vegans actually need Lactobacillus?

4.4.98 Slime (poss. due to lot of booze last night!)

5.4.98 Slime.

6.4.98 Slime. GP most of day (groin pain I presume). Had had spag. & vege. burger for breakfast instead of tofu.

7-8.4.98 Breasts aching; feeling edgy & pre-menstrual - am I going back to short cycles again? Discharge & randiness.

10.4.98 Awoke with have done a few times since taking Acidophilus capsules (although have stopped). Don’t think that I had this problem before (not since living in P anyway)

Is this another case of symptom-worsening on long-term basis as result of attempted cure?

18.4.98 Sleepiness following cereal with soya milk very apparent lately.

Had to go & lie down on one occasion as having extreme difficulty staying awake. I usually have it mid-late afternoon.

19.4.98 Typical - I thought I’d discovered a trend. No sleep after cereal today.

21.4.98 Lower lip spasms late p.m. G.p. at same time + severe groin itching (which is common anyway).

28.4.98 Slight gastric reflux after breakfast (re-swallowed it). Have been feeling more weak & tired than usual during past few days, with occasional facial spasms (e.g. lip, upper or lower), flushing, sore throat (yesterday) & flashes of fed-upness, or mild depression or inexplicable anxiety (very brief) Also a lot of visual disturbance/hallucinations (brief).

30.4.98 Noticed what I suppose are fasciculations on upper side of one foot tonight (sometimes get them elsewhere - rhythmic, rapid twitching apparently just below skin.) Maybe it was the foot that I had nerve removed from. (Later footnote - surely this should be obvious?)

1.5.98 Slime (may have had for few days).

4.5.98 Slime still.

5.5.98 Slime. Woosy & headachey for much of afternoon & evening. Studying v. difficult - hard to take anything in. Sleepy later. Legs & arms quite weak & aching.

6.5.98 Slime. Still achey & woosy. V. little g.p. during last few days.

Knee-joints twingeing frequently. Genital region persistently wet in evening, even immediately after thorough drying. Seems like sweat.

9.5.98 Writing becomes painful quite quickly at moment (after ¼ - ½ A4 sheet).

25.5.98 Copious, vivid dreams apparently all night, waking frequently to urinate (every ½ - 1 hr)

Eyes v. bleary in morning - feel ‘sinusy’. Find this heavy dreaming tiring - want some proper unconsciousness. Maybe due to worry over T. (added later - cat)

27.5.98 Sinusy again after quite a ‘dreamy’ night. Poss. allergy to cat hair (lot of moulting at moment)? I do get severe itching from moulted cat hair on skin (but only while it’s there).

Ended up taking 2 Paras to get rid of nagging, dull headache.

Photophobia worse than usual.

29.5.98 Sore tongue. Am wondering whether I have same ‘bug’ as T (& now C) & rabbit found dead by pond on 22nd.

J B spraying herbicide in east field p.m. Could smell it strongly as was bringing celery seedlings in so prob. inhaled.

30.5.98 Rather dismayed to find weighed 9 st. (evening) Although have been eating nuts, biscuits & soya ice cream a bit since birthday, plus having a few drinks & using full-fat marge, I have been physically active (strenuous gardening). Rarely have chips at present & often go to bed slightly hungry. It’s not fair!

8.6.98 Not much IBS during past week. Eyes hurting almost as soon as put glasses on today.

11.6.98 Mild but nagging backache today & yesterday. Due to impending period? Took 2 paracetamol in early evening.

12.6.98 A wart has appeared about 1" to left of right nipple. Very small; same colour as nipples. Not tender.

Eyes v. sore & tired today. Mild but nagging headache, sometimes with pain at back of neck.

Nose burning when walking up R Hill c. 1415.

14.6.98 Had to take Nytol to sleep as going mad with itching.

16.6.98 Had to take Nytol again as passing large amounts of urine frequently.

18.6.98 Urinary burning in afternoon.

Drank several pints of water in less than 2 hours.

Still got worse. Blood in urine by 1800 (I think); dull ache in lower back at times.

Burning became severe, despite 4 paracetamol. Had smoke - brief relief. Took 2 ½-strength Nytol ‘caplets’. Added about 3 raw garlic cloves (large) to some tinned spaghetti when hot & ate.

19.6.98 Amazingly better! Only slight burning on urination (& not always)

Had some goosegrass tea made last night, & more raw garlic. (2 large cloves in food)

Burning occasionally bad again - seems to come & go.

Had ⅓ pt cranberry juice 1100. Had a pint of goosegrass tea & 3 glasses of cranberry juice altogether today, plus about 6 raw garlic cloves (large)

Headache in evening of type that worsens with movement esp. when head lowered.

No haematuria or lower back pain today. Wasn’t 100% sure of haematuria yesterday as it was end of period, but I think I had it.

20.6.98 Burning on & off. Frequency high. Acrid-smelling faeces - maybe due to garlic (some last night was so hot it hurt, & I had to cool mouth down with water) Maybe it killed off my beneficial gut flora.

Developed bad abdominal pain (around midriff-navel area, which looked distended) while eating dinner c. 1930. Feels like wind. Soon partly relieved by hearty farts! Became v. hot & sweaty while had pain. V. polyuric in evening.

21.6.98 Faeces foul-smelling & rather amorphous again.

As yesterday, had no discomfort when first got up, but burning returned during morning (not severe)

Having 3 glasses of Cranberry Classic (a juice drink) a day.

Normal motion in evening, but discomfort in urinary system quite bad by then - not really powerful but nagging. Feels like area of valve between bladder & urinary tract.

Passing lot of water & getting thirsty again.

Later had dull pain in lower back & right-hand side of abdomen. Kidneys? Liver?

22.6.98 Pain (discomfort on waking, soon becoming virtually unbearable. Dull ache in lower back - several defecations - motions foul-smelling & ‘bitty.’

Started taking Tripimix (antibiotic) & Co-proxamol (analgesic) at 1200. Amazing relief within 15-20 mins. Lower back pain, which was worsening esp. on right, disappeared, & bladder pain became bearable. By early evening I had hardly any pain or discomfort. Thank goodness! (I was getting quite desperate)

23.6.98 ET (added later - not sure what that is) still smells foul. Feeling fine. Slept without Nytol or painkillers.

24.6.98 Slime. ET fairly non-odorous now (but not when disturbed to empty) Slight urinary discomfort at times (or is it vaginal?)

Have had unusually good bladder control since taking antibiotics. Don’t seem to be excreting as much urine either.

26.6.98 Slime. Randiness.

27.6.98 Slime a.m.

28.6.98 V. polyuric p.m. - had to take Nytol.

29.6.98 Slight lower back pain & pungent loose motions a.m.

1.7.98 Had to abandon a gardening session as feeling shaky & sweaty. Legs went weak, felt very slightly nauseous, sweated quite profusely. Difficulty writing due to hands shaking.

3.7.98 Became shaky & nauseous in C’s car near end of drive to M, although roof light & window open. Better after walk, but felt bad again during drive to U C. Better after snack & beer.

8.7.98 Became v. sleepy c. 1700 - trouble staying awake. Dozed in chair. This morning V said that she was very tired despite sleeping well. Last night T said that she was ‘shattered’ (but she had been rushing about a lot)

Could it be due to weather? Light breeze, moderate temperature (not hot), no rain, dull with brief sunny spells.

Hot, sweaty & polyuric in evening. Before this I had filled 2 water carriers (just purchased from M.A.S.H., ex-dairy use). As poured water in I noticed that one smelt of chlorine & other of something different - a solvent &-or pesticide?

Visual & auditory disturbances in late evening (not severe)

10.7.98 Eyes aching, bleary & photophobic in late afternoon, following shopping & digging.

Also see Unexplained Phenomena file.

Paracetamol did not relieve eye discomfort.

11.7.98 Eyes aching & bleary again (all day) but was able to read a reasonable amount.

12.7.98 Eyes aching a bit. Sleeping heavily at moment, & wanting to continue even when have had about 9 hours. Sleepy in late afternoon today. Hand hurting when writing less than an A4 sheet.

13.7.98 Eyes better. Foul-smelling motions late a.m.

15.7.98 Dreaming v. heavily last few nights. Legs rather weak a.m. Woozy late.

21.7.98 Weary & bleary on rising. A bit headachey too. Legs aching on v. mild exertion (e.g. crouching, kneeling, climbing stairs)

A bit shaky & nauseous in late afternoon. NB Painted a piece of wood (for shelving) with gloss paint today & yesterday. Had a vodka yesterday evening.

Quite powerful hot flush around midnight while sitting working on assignment. Accompanied by generalised sweating. Only lasted about a minute.

24.7.98 Did not have usual problems of arm weakness & aching when filling in photo-developing envelope in Superdrug - it’s at about 44" height.

26.7.98 Greater bowel urgency this morning than is usual these days, & result was rather more amorphous than usual. Had risked having chillies (quite a few) in food for last two days, having given them up since last year. Also forewent usual burger last night, having mushroom paté on sesame crispbread instead. Also have cucumber at moment.

However, have had mild fluey symptoms for a week or so - sneezing a bit, mild headaches, bleariness, so maybe diet isn’t the (only) cause of bowel changes.

Felt a bit more alert today although still bleary-eyed. Usual exhaustion while digging garden, but in evening I felt stronger than usual & more aware of muscles responding (except in eyes).

27.7.98 Although had chilli-hot food last night, did not have bowel problems today.

Another poss. cause of yesterday’s problem? - took a ½-strength Nytol tablet on previous night.

3.8.98 Have had slime for 2 or 3 days. Have had very little g.p. for last 2 weeks or so, although quite bad the night before last.

Still having chillies (slightly less than at first) Sometimes have bowel urgency in morning. Mild pain in upper right-hand side of abdomen (around rib area) on occasion over last 2 or 3 days.

6.8.98 Feeling a bit stronger lately. (STRONGER, not STRANGER!)

Seem to be developing muscles in upper arms & poss. in legs too. Eyes still bad though.

Still having chillies. Bowels a bit dodgy in mornings (frequency, urgency, softness & squits) Maybe due to slime-related infection.

7.8.98 Feeling strong again.

8.8.98 Feeling weak today, with limbs & back aching on mildish exertion.

Woke early with hangover-type headache (not severe) which has happened a few times lately although have had no alcohol at all. Due to yeast infection?

9.8.98 Weak & achey again, but better in evening although still weak & achey. Weather very hot, which probably contributes to weakness & physical lethargy.

10.8.98 Weather still v. hot. Motions v. soft - took some K & M. Temperature 75°F in lounge. Sweating a lot & legs feel weak. Crotch getting particularly rancid from sweating, so having to use a lot of pads. Area later became chapped so that walking was painful.

12.8.98 Considerable bowel urgency on waking - result rather soft.

Bleary-eyed, aching-legged, & slightly nauseous in early afternoon. (Had to walk into town in hot sun yesterday, & legs ached after last time I did that)

My sense of smell seems poor at moment - can hardly smell pink rose in garden at all (but V can)

Period 8 days late (still not come). Had some unfamiliar pains in groin on a couple of days recently. Menopause starting?

IBS g.p. all evening.

14.8.98 Urgency a.m. & lunchtime again, soft outcome. Bit bleary & woozy & v. slightly nauseous.

NB found a couple of days ago that there was a thin coating of green algae in water filter. Could this have contributed?

16.8.98 Have considerable difficulty dragging self out of bed these days. Sleep well, often for 9-9½ hours, but still want to sleep more. Wake several times a night & urinate but get back to sleep very quickly (which rarely have in the past - only since overdose).

Dreaming heavily.

Motions soft & amorphous a.m. & lunchtime.

Twitching in area of left eyebrow for much of day (on & off).

17.8.98 No bowel movement till lunchtime! (Prob. due to taking a Co-proxamol for g.p. (groin pain) last night Almost totally amorphous.

18.8.98 Amorphous motions again. Still having chillies but not a huge amount.

20.8.98 V. sleepy a.m. - lunchtime. (mostly after breakfast). Amorphous motions.

22.8.98 Have had mild cold/flu-type symptoms for a few days - sore throat, sneezing, aching. Motions still v. loose. Connection?

Dull ache in lower back after defecating a.m. Mild nausea lunchtime. Back of right calf aching particularly. A small length of vein is fairly prominent there.

23.8.98 Diarrhoea a.m. Dull ache in small of back again afterwards. No chilli last night. Pretty sure now that I have a bug.

24.8.98 Period started (accompanied by slime, I think) following small amounts of pink & red discharge yesterday. 20 days late!

Catarrh in throat on getting up.

28.8.98 No chilli last night but extreme urgency a.m. - nearly messed self. V. amorphous still, & aching around small of back & right side of upper abdomen.

29.8.98 Still having v. soft amorphous motions even when haven’t had chilli the previous night. Quite weak & achey at moment. Lower back pain for some time after defecation today.

30.8.98 Overcome with sleepiness c1300 so went to bed but couldn’t sleep. Was feeling anxious/uneasy due to M P being around next door or too much coffee during past few days? (Or a combination?)

31.8.98 V. absent-minded a.m. Forgot to put garlic in breakfast; couldn’t remember which brush I used to clean mini-vac (which I do every day) and after scraping cats’ leftovers into one bowl I put other (empty) bowl on top of it instead of other way round. Eyes bleary. Woozy. Also feel cold. It is much cooler than yesterday but not really cold.

2.9.98 Woke with headache, pain in back of neck & nasal catarrh. No dash to defecate. Had chili last night but NO SALAD (nb my fridge is somewhat unsanitary at present as door doesn’t seal properly)

Lower lip tremor* & sore tongue-tip in evening. Vision blurry (due to watery eyes, I think)

* & spasms (fasciculations?)

Hardly defecated at all today.

3.9.98 Maybe it is the salad. Had some last night & was back to urgent dashes this morning.

Urine very pale a.m. - hardly any colour. Last night my flatulence smelt v. reminiscent of hydrogen sulphide. Connection?

Put off eating for too long in early evening (I’m trying to lose weight or at least stop putting it on): went shaky & sweaty, with some co-ordination difficulty. OK after meal, as I knew it would be. Why does this happen? My blood sugar has always tested OK. Is it something else that becomes depleted? (or builds up?)

6.9.98 Faeces much more normal. Salad but no chilli last night. Also had ½ bottle of white wine & a smoke.

10.9.98 Slime a.m. Lower lip spasm p.m.

12.9.98 Upper arm muscles aching a lot due (probably) to strenuous garden work 2 days ago (strenuous for me as I am now, that is). Had trouble getting comfortable in bed last night due to muscle tenderness.

14.9.98 Bouts of extreme randiness over past 2 days or so, including involuntary contractions/throbbing in v. Upper right arm & shoulder joint still a bit painful.

16.9.98 Muscle(s) on outside of right forearm hurting, due, I think, to cutting up herbs with scissors yesterday. Lifting water filter quite difficult & painful.

17.9.98 Right forearm still hurting as yesterday.

19.9.98 Have been feeling nervous & irritable for few days. PMT? Breasts are a bit tender, especially when first get up, & grotesquely large. Ugh! Can I have a voluntary mastectomy? (Perhaps I could donate them to someone!)

28.9.98 Had bad night last night & night before due to extreme urinary frequency. Had not had any tea, coffee, cocoa or alcohol after 2100. Problem due to elimination of fluid accumulated before period? (Period had become almost non-existent after 2 days of normal flow)

30.9.98 Another bad night last night not due to bladder but just couldn’t sleep for long although went to bed early because sleepy. Took Nytol about 0330. Slept OK the previous night without.

1.10.98 Had to take Nytol again (c. 0200) partly due to fear of fleas in bed (had used Frontline on I yesterday & she & T kept getting into bed. Was bitten a couple of days ago & it was still itching) Needed Nytol again tonight. Am only taking one ½-strength tablet each time.

Period more or less fizzled out although breasts still a bit achey in mornings when first get up. Just sporadic thin pink discharge. Had occasional quite sharp pains in groin after ‘normal’ part of period, presumed either urinary or gynaecological.

Mental & physical performance v. sluggish today. Difficulty concentrating, & muscle response poor (below average) Slight gp from early afternoon, & IBS-like visual & auditory confusion. Is my intestinal nervous system causing all the symptoms or is the CNS doing it all?

3.10.98 Feeling depressed p.m. - think it’s physically caused, e.g. lack of sleep/hormone imbalance.

Smoked some cannabis grown from seeds bought in health food shop. No detectable narcotic effect, but felt more cheerful & slept without Nytol.

4.10.98 Sweating profusely a.m. although not hot. Still have light discharge with faint pink tinge.

6.10.98 Woozy & sweaty a.m. & early afternoon. (Think I was yesterday too). Disconnected feeling; impaired awareness of surroundings, difficulty interpreting sights & sounds.

Eyesight has been blurry during (early?) parts of past 2 days, as if glasses need cleaning, but it seems to actually be a slightly opaque secretion in eyes. Eyes a bit achey too.

Slight urinary discomfort a.m. Often feel tipsy - could it all be due to yeast infection?

8.10.98 J B spraying his western field in evening while I was bringing plants in. Must have inhaled some as I smelt it before I saw him. Before going out (so prob. before he started) I had slight headache. When came back in I had sore throat as well. NB C (cat) has had a mild cold for several days.

9.10.98 Left knee tender on bending & unbending, & when bearing weight, & muscle at back of knee feels tight & also tender on straightening.

11.10.98 Left knee still a bit painful. Faeces have been quite ‘normal’ for some time now (‘Type 4’!)* & am sleeping OK again. Still have slight discharge. Rarely getting IBS pain but passing wind very frequently!

* Am having about ¼-⅓ of a chilli per day.

Cold sore on lower Lip (inside)

Hot flush & attack of weakness in legs while shopping p.m. Esp. weak at knees.

Both rear knee muscles feel taut & slightly tender.

Often have very stiff back in morning, esp. if sleep a bit late. Difficulty straightening (& controlling bladder at same time!) but only takes a few mins.

Generally v. achey later - feel like I’m getting a cold.

14.10.98 Legs still aching. Muscle at front of right calf now feels taut & tender as well. (towards outside of calf rather than inside (I.e. away from centre of body) but almost central)

16.10.98 Urinary &/or vaginal discomfort on occasion during past few days.

Legs aching a lot today, & feel generally rather fatigued or lethargic, yet walking into town without having to stop, which is unusual. Headache in afternoon (mild, cured by paracetamol).

17.10.98 Achey again. Bowel output a bit nasty (as was yesterday) - poss. due to more chilli-ish food at present.

Occasional mild urinary discomfort (actually in urinary tract, not on urination). Did a partial mock exam on computer & got v. tired after just an hour. Right eye slightly bloodshot later.

18.10.98 Woozy episode and mild but persistent headache made finishing mock exam & continuing to revise difficult. Are woozy episodes a sort of sub-headache? Felt as though had a flu or cold-type bug but without fever.

Still achey at times.

19.10.98 Achey & nasal catarrhy a.m. (legs aching in particular)

Very hot in bed at times last night (weather cold). Felt feverish. Still have slight urinary discomfort.

Hot flush in afternoon.

Eyestrain (aching & tiredness) developing very quickly during past few days. Legs (still?) aching in evening. May have been times during day when they weren’t; I’m not sure.

20.10.98 Mild headache a.m.

21.10.98 Foul-smelling diarrhoea. Also achy & bleary eyed.

For exam

I had: a few tsp kaolin & morphine

3 paracetamol (½ hr before start)

Strong cup of coffee before starting; + chocolate & cola during exam.

To my surprise & delight I got through exam with very little difficulty - eyes didn’t ache (which is the most debilitating problem in exams)

Having a lot of neckache lately. (not just back but sides too - worrying that it may be connected with the tiny lump on right side of neck. Not sure how long I’ve had it, but I think Dr F said it was nothing to worry about.)

22.10.98 Left knee better - slight pain on repeated climbing & descending of stairs, but kneeling easier than before.

23.10.98 V. tired p.m. after shopping. Legs weak & achey. Difficulty forcing self to dig hole for night soil & cook dinner.

29.10.98 Still have mild but noticeable ache around right side of neck. Also some aching around top of right shoulder.

2.11.98 Pain & difficulty on bending the larger joint of ring finger. One or two nights ago it was esp. bad - couldn’t bend it properly at all. Not sure whether I’ve knocked it recently. Problem is intermittent.

Some urinary discomfort.

Groin pain earlier - felt like bladder or reproductive origin.

5.11.98 ‘Fluttering’ in throat a.m. Feels like a fasciculation in the windpipe (or oesophagus) in region of pharynx. Lasted 1-2 seconds. V. similar to those I get occasionally at top of chest. Afterwards I had to start the usual morning throat-clearing routine which lasts ½ hr or more.

8.11.98 Upper right arm has been painful on even mild exertion for at least a week or 2. Pain is mainly on outside of arm not far below shoulder. Finger OK now, neck pain virtually gone. Left knee slightly painful at times but better than before.

The discomfort accompanying fatigue on kneeling is more cramp-like than painful

12.11.98 Sweating profusely (armpits) & smellily!

Another bout in late evening, also involving upper lip & upper chest area & accompanied by leg weakness & tremor. Poss. due to leaving too long between meals - knew instinctively that I’d be OK after food (& was).

13.11.98 Defecated about 5 times during morning & early afternoon! (Motions quite normal in quantity & quality each time)

18.11.98 Urinary discomfort in early evening. Have had stitch-type pains a few times over past week or 2 in groin area. Think I have discharge (unless period is still petering out).

Went for nature walk in afternoon, & had to urinate 5 times during the 2 hours I was out.

19.11.98 Both upper arms aching quite a lot (Poss. due to extreme difficulty opening a jar yesterday)

25.11.98 Chap/chilblain on knuckle below left index finger since yesterday. Itchy & a bit sore.

IBS g.p. p.m. (Haven’t had it much lately) Brief fluttering in throat or upper chest, & spasm of lower lip later. Connection?

26.11.98 Spasm of lower lip several times.

Discharge more noticeable than usual (think it’s yellowish)

Defecation, although still preceded by urgency, has been sluggish for a few days. Evacuation has felt incomplete, & rectal region has ached for some time afterwards (not severe)

28.11.98 Slime. Defecation still slow.

29.11.98 Lower lip in spasm several times in late evening.

30.11.98 Lower lip spasm late evening. Pain due to writing came markedly earlier than yesterday - yesterday I’d begun to think the problem had gone as I’d written for an hour or 2* without pain, but it started eventually.

*Total time, excluding breaks, over the day.

Sometimes writing becomes painless again without a break. Odd!

1.12.98 Motions toffee-coloured & loose. Brief spasm of lower lip in evening. Have been sneezing a bit & dreams are getting very plentiful & vivid again. Nails seem to be growing even faster than usual - per a recent TV prog. flu makes hair & nails grow faster, so is this a general side-effect of infection, & could it explain my annoyingly fast nail growth?

Sweating a lot (armpits) - getting smelly despite deodorant

3.12.98 Slept badly last night. Had more trouble than usual getting up R Hill (about 5 stops). Hand also hurt after relatively little writing.

Brief lower lip spasm in evening. V. tired generally. (sleepy) V. sore/tender area on top of head, slightly towards back & to left.

7.12.98 Tender spot on top of head has gone. Also no g.p. (which has been quite bad at times over past few days) & no lower lip spasm.

8.12.98 Very thirsty all last night. Had not eaten different food from usual. Faeces have been loose for at least a week. Attack of extreme sleepiness in early evening. IBS g.p. later but no accompanying eye fatigue or scalp tenderness.

9.12.98 Tap water (even after fatigue) seems to taste/smell rather chloriney at present.

14.12.98 IBS pain but no scalp tenderness.

Have been sneezing a bit & having other apparent symptoms of cold or flu starting (burning nostrils, runny nose, flushing, aches) but it hasn’t developed. Bowel movements have been soft, small, urgent, fairly frequent & a bit squitty (incorporating air!). Often feels that evacuation isn’t finished - have rectal discomfort which causes anxiety as I’m worried about having to go when not near loo.

15.12.98 Tender raised spot on right wrist.

16.12.98 Copious slime a.m. Spot shrinking. Period started a few hours later (8 days late) accompanied by more slime.

17.12.98 Although got 6-7 hrs sleep last night I was washed-out by early evening.

18.12.98 Left knee has been rather painful for weeks. Right knee gave a similar twinge on descending stairs. Left knee pain not severe but has restricted movement considerably as I try to avoid exacerbating any damage.

Restless & edgy. Period has stopped. Find that I clench my knife & fork v. tightly when eating, & limbs are tense generally. (This isn’t a new phenomenon.)

19.12.98 Nagging but not severe pain between shoulder blades p.m., slightly to left of right shoulder blade.

20.12.98 Tremor & weakness in evening prob. because too long between meals, even though it was only 2-3 hours. Took ½ hr or so to wear off after eating. Sweating too.

26.12.98 Rectum aching for most of day, negligibly by evening. Prob. due to slight alcohol excess yesterday.

Left foot hurting during late afternoon & early evening, esp. outer side & toes. Legs tired & achey.

(Didn’t sleep v. well last night, prob. due to alcohol. Felt a bit nauseous at times but drinking water appeared to cure it)

Spontaneous post-coital type v muscle activity on going to bed. Lasted a while. This was a particularly intense form of the sometimes record, & I’m beginning to think that it’s related to my other neuromuscular oddities. Wonder if it’s the same thing I used to get when younger, which I associated with sexual arousal & often tried to counteract with alcohol.

28.12.98 Legs v. weak & achey. Had to stop about 6 times when walking up R. Hill. Rectum still aching on & off - think it’s muscle pain.

Have been very hungry since Xmas.

Seems to have passed a lot of faeces during past 2 days (3 sessions this morning). Haven’t eaten much more than usual. Maybe not digesting food v. well.

31.12.98 Still getting rectal aching at times. Extreme urgency recently.
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