A coincidence of a night planned out, that she forgot and a gap in my day on Wednesday, when I asked if she was free to get lunch. This suddenly gave the impression of an avalanche of contact. Her response to my request for lunch was 'why don't you just do work'. In that moment it felt like she saw me as a creep trying to constantly hang around her.
It is perfectly possible that I got it wrong, but she has subsequently cancelled for tonight's game night, and in my gut I just feel awful. She is supposed to be coming to Thursday's comedy night, but she could cancel and I am seriously considering not going. This just hurts right now, and I just want to avoid her.
This has happened before when I have tried too hard and it gets read in the wrong light. This time I was just enjoying her company and I honestly don't know if I like her more than just a friend.
This was followed by a joyful interview conducted by a fellow student, who showed the standard ignorance of someone who is close-minded, and stated that my low energy levels were down purely to a lack of motivation, not bothering to ask why I was always tired.
I struggle to understand people at times, isn’t a journalist student supposed to be curious and ask questions, so why did he give his opinion, rather than ask the obvious question?
Last week there was a crash outside my halls of accommodation, an idiot student driver tried to overtake when there was a bit of snow that turned into sludge on the road. They duly rolled their car, with two fire engines coming to the aid of the driver, luckily the driver wasn't injured.
Understanding the logic of my fellow students seems to bypass me at times, maybe it is me, I don’t know. This world just continues to fail me, especially when my energy levels are so reliant on others, and now the chance of this person giving me energy, has now seemingly gone, along potentially with their friendship.