Monday, August 3, 2009
I was thinking about how being a chronic, we are so isolated, and some of the things I miss are so very mundane.
I miss having a friend drop by for a cup of coffee or whatever.
I miss the type of chitchat I used to have with people in my homeschool group, talking about the fam, what little stuff was funny that day, they notice your new hair colour, they remember to ask about something you are into, you watch their kids growing up before your eyes ...
I have missed that desperately over the years. That's even with my kids and Al here to fill some of it in. And they can only fill it in a bit, because they are in the central part of my life. And we're talking peripherals.
And I think, ok these are not essential, strictly speaking, for survival. But ... it's like losing one's peripheral vision. (I've done that before during vertigo).
We may have the mainscreen of life, but all the little sidetrips that bring colour, and add context, and help us know where we are, help balance us ... are gone.
Forums are a good case in point. If they only focus on the important things, the treatments, research etc. while that is important, life changing maybe, the peripherals continue to ...disappear.
I know for myself, I can find the treatments etc. in a google search. And that stuff is not my priority since I seem to be healing without them. They make my brain hurt (truly) and they are really over my head.
I told Cort once I loved his site back in the day, before I knew him, in part because in his writing, he brought that stuff down to my level (Barely.
. I meant it.
What I was longing for, and have found a bit of on these forums, was connections with other people. I just haven't had that, for 6 yrs.
And half of me is SUCH a people person. I need alot of solitude, always have. But relationships with people make me come alive.
I was thinking about how being a chronic, we are so isolated, and some of the things I miss are so very mundane.
I miss having a friend drop by for a cup of coffee or whatever.
I miss the type of chitchat I used to have with people in my homeschool group, talking about the fam, what little stuff was funny that day, they notice your new hair colour, they remember to ask about something you are into, you watch their kids growing up before your eyes ...
I have missed that desperately over the years. That's even with my kids and Al here to fill some of it in. And they can only fill it in a bit, because they are in the central part of my life. And we're talking peripherals.
And I think, ok these are not essential, strictly speaking, for survival. But ... it's like losing one's peripheral vision. (I've done that before during vertigo).
We may have the mainscreen of life, but all the little sidetrips that bring colour, and add context, and help us know where we are, help balance us ... are gone.
Forums are a good case in point. If they only focus on the important things, the treatments, research etc. while that is important, life changing maybe, the peripherals continue to ...disappear.
I know for myself, I can find the treatments etc. in a google search. And that stuff is not my priority since I seem to be healing without them. They make my brain hurt (truly) and they are really over my head.
I told Cort once I loved his site back in the day, before I knew him, in part because in his writing, he brought that stuff down to my level (Barely.
. I meant it.What I was longing for, and have found a bit of on these forums, was connections with other people. I just haven't had that, for 6 yrs.
And half of me is SUCH a people person. I need alot of solitude, always have. But relationships with people make me come alive.
