I had a very difficult go with our psychiatric system and their medications (for severe panic disorder and episodes of depression) and ultimately I believe, for me, they massively contributed to me becoming unwell. My downfall began in this same window. And although I won’t get into it as I don’t want to relive those traumatic days right now, I do not feel I was listened to when I told my doctors that crazy strange infections were beginning. Paper cuts weren’t healing well and when they finally did, they had strange lines all over. Bizarre rare herpes infections in my throat and esophagus my ENT said. But don’t worry they all said, it’s not your meds. They rolled their eyes at any implication. They rolled their eyes when I asked if this could be the proton pump inhibitors I was on (high daily doses for almost 2 years). I was told to stop questioning and just do as told. Until I withered away, unable to Eat at 90 lbs. size zero. Translucent skin (I’m Italian with brownish skin normally). And shrinking daily. Having some of the most atrocious symptoms. So, I had to break out of that system to save my life I realized…. And I was kinda on my own. It was a difficult road. Understatement.
I am posting this in my personal blog. Because it’s been my experience. No judgement of personal choices to use these. We all have such unique journeys.
But for me, it really, really didn’t go well. So many details I won’t get into as my point is not to traumatize others. And part of my healing process in life, is sharing my truth. My truth involves facing sometimes ugly things. That it’s easy to want to look away from. That I realized, our medical system (many parts of it) were in parts, inept and other parts the definition of insanity. I clearly remember a neurologist I saw in 2009, stating to me, that he felt the entire realm of psychiatry should be illegal and what they did to my brain (med combos they put me on and forced me on some of them) was criminal. I still had strong faith in our medical system at that time in 2009, although it was tattered. But I will never forget his words. I will never forget his face. I will never forget realizing, I don’t have my finger on the pulse yet, but something is out of sync and not right with how they throw us on all these drugs, term us non compliant if we don’t and then disappear or rid you as their patient if things should go wrong on these medications.
And for some of us, like me, so much went wrong. So much is unknown about these medications. The insanity to suggest to our population, that otherwise is true. That we can just throw pregnant women and 4 year olds on them. That we can piss them out and let the general population recirculate them via the environment. That my family Dr. Was receiving financial compensation for pushing certain drugs. And no one talks about it. It’s briefly mentioned, then hushed and forgotten about.
Trust in our system is first and foremost. Or so it seems. Everyone experts know better, except ourselves. Never trust yourself.
But is that really the best way? To have a planet filled with humans that ultimately are encouraged to not listen within? To not question authority? To trust in a multi billion dollar empire filled with legal drug lords? Because to me, it seems, that when this degree of separation is aimed for… disharmony happens. And we, are living in disharmonious times.
F. that.
Those days are over.
We are whole.
Awakening to the reality
we are living in an insane system.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-00186-y
I am posting this in my personal blog. Because it’s been my experience. No judgement of personal choices to use these. We all have such unique journeys.
But for me, it really, really didn’t go well. So many details I won’t get into as my point is not to traumatize others. And part of my healing process in life, is sharing my truth. My truth involves facing sometimes ugly things. That it’s easy to want to look away from. That I realized, our medical system (many parts of it) were in parts, inept and other parts the definition of insanity. I clearly remember a neurologist I saw in 2009, stating to me, that he felt the entire realm of psychiatry should be illegal and what they did to my brain (med combos they put me on and forced me on some of them) was criminal. I still had strong faith in our medical system at that time in 2009, although it was tattered. But I will never forget his words. I will never forget his face. I will never forget realizing, I don’t have my finger on the pulse yet, but something is out of sync and not right with how they throw us on all these drugs, term us non compliant if we don’t and then disappear or rid you as their patient if things should go wrong on these medications.
And for some of us, like me, so much went wrong. So much is unknown about these medications. The insanity to suggest to our population, that otherwise is true. That we can just throw pregnant women and 4 year olds on them. That we can piss them out and let the general population recirculate them via the environment. That my family Dr. Was receiving financial compensation for pushing certain drugs. And no one talks about it. It’s briefly mentioned, then hushed and forgotten about.
Trust in our system is first and foremost. Or so it seems. Everyone experts know better, except ourselves. Never trust yourself.
But is that really the best way? To have a planet filled with humans that ultimately are encouraged to not listen within? To not question authority? To trust in a multi billion dollar empire filled with legal drug lords? Because to me, it seems, that when this degree of separation is aimed for… disharmony happens. And we, are living in disharmonious times.
F. that.
Those days are over.
We are whole.
Awakening to the reality
we are living in an insane system.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-00186-y
