Conspiracy: Upon Further Investigation… / Bad Honey / Not Kevlar / Class Participation

Paranoid Annoyed (Thursday, December 2nd)

The last guy that lived with my all-new roommate abandoned ship.. because he couldn't sleep at night either, for the exact same reasons that I was unable to sleep the very first night.

And I can't tell you who told me this, but someone did tell me this exact thing (providing details etc.). And I think I know who is behind the plot. It's the person who wants to get rid of me due to my… overall awareness.

Or not.

More on that later. But I probably shouldn't say anything. Then again, I'm always saying things. If I didn't, you'd have nothing interesting to read about (although, perhaps you don't). Ideally, the words herein strike a chord, light the fuse, or in the least, initiate a massive peristalsis event.


I'm experiencing weird awkwardness after ingesting a small sampling of those gluten-free almond cinnamon cookies I recently purchased - Howard scans the list of ingredients - And it could be the honey. I've reacted very oddly to that before (behaviorally). And I'm reacting oddly now… uncomfortable in my own skin.

No, I didn't realize honey was a chief ingredient. So now I have twelve fun-sized bags of snack stuff that I may not be able to safely ingest…

But I can easily offer up these goods to my fellow residents. Or I could just deal with the strange sensations, the after-effects. A temporary delusional mindset shift could be sorta fun in small doses (sodium bicarbonate does something eerily similar).


Today I received a warm looking black vest type of jacket .. from somebody. Probably somebody far away (I don't know anybody nearby who would do such a thing). And yes, it looks as though it'll hold the cold at bay.

Of late, we're still in the 80's during the daylight hours, but despite global warming, these unseasonable temperatures won't last forever. Next week, occasional rain showers are forecast to roll in, with temps dropping into the frigid 60's (as I am laying out and about).

Out and about…? Sounds rather bizarre and disorienting to my ears when referencing myself in that manner. I'm mostly simply out, yet also occasionally about.

So thank you kindly, mysterious purchaser of functional attire!

Note: It's still expected that The Former Person will be dropping off a few clothing items this weekend. Possibly. Maybe. Or it could be the next. No urgency, of course.

Nap Slack*

Lacking reasonable amounts of sleep, I rambled on and on incoherently to anybody who happened on by my midday courtyard campsite. Rosa did. She's also the one who relocated my belongings (from the old room to the new room) all by herself. So I thanked her with far too many words, while also offering up unrelated psuedo-semi-entertaining anecdotes, free of charge.

Later, Anthony happened by and picked up my accidentally dropped (and out of reach) pillow (off the ground). He's Colleen's male friend. Nice guy. He and I have been talking "hawks" lately. You see, two black hawks did a flyby yesterday, taking on a low glide from east to west. Huge wingspan.

Well, I think they were hawks. And he does, too. So they must have been hawks.

Nope. I have no birding abilities nor ornithological inclinations.

Oh, and Michaela dropped by my room early on (seemingly before she was awake) to check out my new situation. She'll be rotating into my new area in a few weeks time. So it seems my former support gang will indeed be seen again.

Evelyn? Yes, Evelyn. We talked extensively about her religion, in comparison to my take on a higher consciousness/spirituality.. and then also, we discussed (in grave detail) the state of our worldwide citizenry... so basically, things all about and regarding society's imminent demise.

We spoke on other things, too. And despite our terminology not being the same (nor our reference points), the meaning of our words were spot-on agreeable. As I further adapt to life's circumstances, I'm more often finding ways to bridge the gap... not that she and I had an insurmountable gap in the first place.

So yeah, she's lonely, missing her husband. He's the one at a different facility across town.. due to red tape. Meanwhile, I've tried to fix her up with a couple of other older women here, the ones who can hold a conversation. But nothing has taken yet, so she ends up hanging out with me.

She's a very decent human being, simply wanting to relate to others. And I feel her sadness, through and through.

Federico. Yep, he came outside to perform his (3x weekly) wheelchair workout. And also, to socialize. Seeing him enthusiastic about anything at all brings me inner joy, so I ask him the right kinds of questions when they come to mind. Today's topic had much to do with him having ingeniously constructed a tile cutting saw from random pieces and parts (way back when).

Head cocked to one side, eyes to the sky, he joyously visualizes and gestures as he explains events that occurred prior to his becoming paralyzed, so of course, I let him go on, feeding him more and more.. basking in his glory. Yes, I appreciate anybody who speaks with that kind of focus and dedicated passion, regarding any subject matter. Most people don't seem to be passionate about much at all.

Anyway, I really wanted to snooze outside in the quiet calm. But my sleeping never really materialized. Lots and lots of foot traffic (and wheelchair traffic) though and through. And then there were several subsequent texting episodes. Weird wonderful texting. Elaborate exchanges. Collaborative exchanges. Stray words making sense. Series of words making no headway. Then eventually, making me unreal. An improvised discomforting everything.

For a time I was an unstoppable force set into motion. And then the smoking people came outside. Still, I couldn't help myself. My voice-to-text conversation unintentionally encroached upon the typically quiet smokers. I was suddenly broadcasting. My words dragged them into… into the conversation, haha! Not literally though. And Michaela happened to be there monitoring the Smoking Gang, as I went off and on about this thing and that. And I think she was smiling. Or perhaps she was horrified. The others too were reacting.

Before long The Smokers cleared out (and with them, their smoke). And I dropped off for The Nap. 21 minutes spent out of my mind. And I awoke refreshed. Muscles tamed.

Meanwhile, Back in Hell's Bungalow…

Hmmm… I require another name for my new digs. Suggest something. Please.

I've been loudly listening to music in my headphones in order to obliterate each and every episode of "Gunsmoke" blaring on my roommates television, and/or blot out the hunting and killing show my roommate often watches.

Although I took a break from my disquieting reality in order to watch a Japanese series called: Japan Sinks 'People of Hope' -

I'd been avoiding Netflix, as not to further associate in any way with The Former Person…

Then moments after I logged in to Netflix, she sent me an email, asking if I'd logged in. Well, of course I did. So now (apparently) she knows if/when I'm on Netflix, and also, when and what I'm doing on the phone she continues to pay for… which really, doesn't matter. Or shouldn't bother me.

I don't really want her to know anything about me anymore… if I'm alive or dead. She gave up that right (and the privilege) 30 days ago. But as long as I'm choosing to be tethered electronically…

Eh. Nothing to lose sleep over, right? I'm losing enough sleep as it is. So yep. I'm sure she's doing well enough and is fine as can be on her own. Meanwhile, I've got to continue processing and letting go, bit by bit.

Broken Records were once Made

0717 hours (Dec 3rd) - I slept an incredibly satisfying 7 hours last night - which shatters all known records of its kind - and I'm not sure what my roommate was up to all the while. Why? Because I slept with my head inside a duffle bag… while wearing the usual apparatus besides.

Take care,

COMING SOON! - I feel as though I must initiate a question-and-answer session for the next blog entry. So, if you are reading this, ask me questions. Ask me questions related to The Nursing Home Experience (60 Days Inn). I've kind of been shirking my duties, in that regard (admittedly, I'm having too much people-related fun.. way more than expected). And I'm taking for granted that you know what I know, in addition to all of that which is going on inside my head.

So… PLEASE ASK ME QUESTIONS, so that I may formulate responses for the next blogging episode.

*FYI: I often make up fake names for those who are unaware of my writing and/or my utilizing their partial first name identities.



Well, @Howard, that last request was a bit of a hard one. Kind of hard to ask questions about a place you don't know about.

OK.....Haven't heard about Evelyn before, who is she and how did she end up in a different facility than her husband? What are they both ill with? Sad for both of them.

As far as your ex......why do you care if she knows you're on Netflix?....and the phone for that matter? I'm assuming that she isn't listening in on your conversations. Who are they with, anyway? (OK, you don't have to tell me.)

If you're still going out each day, the black puffer vest will come in handy in the colder weather. You still haven't told us if you wear tee-shirts at all? That's a question, by the way. See, you avoid the ones you don't want to answer. I'm on to you!

I'm glad you slept again last night. Has your roomie spoken at all yet? It sounds like he goes to the bathroom a lot at night....but if the duffle bag and your other accoutrements work, that's great. So is life better or worse with the room move?...and those are your only two choices. I wonder who's enjoying Jeff at the moment?

It does sound like you've made some nice friends...good going, Howard. Altogether I have to say that you sound happier in your new digs. However, I'm not the one in them. How's the feeding going...I take it your formula was located. Maybe you need to drink a bit of something to help the cookie go down. Be as happy as possible. Yours, Lenora.
I think I would feel a little suspicious also about them putting you in that particular room............especially when you found out that previous roommate had left because of sleepless nights.:oh-dear:
In the meantime, I'm happy that you have the really good medical advocate that is researching a good facility for you.:) That definitely eases my mind. We all need advocates like that.
You've done such a great job of bringing everything to life in our minds, it's tough to come up with questions. I've wondered if the rooms are carpeted, as I wonder about acoustics.

Don't ever think what you write isn't interesting. It ALWAYS is. It's a page-turner, like a novel when you can't wait for the next chapter in the saga of your experiences. I often wonder what a publisher would think of it.

Great idea, @lenora (assuming you sent it. Sorry, if I'm wrong.:)) I love my puffer vests and hope to never be without one.
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I want to know why they keep the rooms so hot. My brain cannot make sense of this. Also, is there a dividing curtain between room mates? Cause i am pretty sure I would put a tarp up :rofl:

Also, i have to introduce single ingredient items at a time. Often, its too much for compromised systems to do multi ingredients. Think baby foods or even try sipping one of your Kates formulas. I would steer clear of high oxlates like spinach and almonds for now (my practioner tells me) until you get some more things in you. Start with baby food pears, applesauce, chicken, beef and other gentle items that resonate with you. I mean i think your relish, seaweed regimen is stellar and i applaud you for it bbbuuuuttttt see what some gentle foods do.

Oh, also, we want to know about what its like to experience air.....outside after so many years inside. It has to be quite incredible i can imagine.
Baby food seems like a pretty good idea @sunshine44 . Have you ever tried baby food @Howard ? Maybe that is something we can send you?

yessss, we will bombard him with baby food for Christmas!
All kinds of flavors. Does it have to be ones without citric acid?
Any other food items Howard?
Lots of kind hearts here want to stock you up.

gloves? hat? scarf?
taaallllkkkkk to ussss maaaaannn.

Or some people will just send you childrens coloring books! :lol::rofl:
After 99 minutes waiting a CNA finally responded to my button push. I truly thought I was alone here. I ran out of formula/water.. and it's been this way all day... up to a three hour wait. So, yeah...

Yes. Baby food. But there are specific necessary parameters. I spent an hour on Amazon... still processing..... :)
Mmmm....pureed turkey, now that would be a bonus for Xmas. Squash....some mashed potatoes from the lunch menu, and who knows what goodies for dessert. Howard, you're going to have one really, really big tummy ache!

It's true, you probably should lay off almonds and the like until you're a little more armed with soft foods.

Are you planning to put in for a better room....what are the choices? I hope you'll sleep well tonight (you'll notice that I'm up.) Ah, well. Yours, Lenora.
yessss, we will bombard him with baby food for Christmas!
All kinds of flavors. Does it have to be ones without citric acid?
Any other food items Howard?
Lots of kind hearts here want to stock you up.

gloves? hat? scarf?
taaallllkkkkk to ussss maaaaannn.

Or some people will just send you childrens coloring books! :lol::rofl:
I didn’t send the coloring book, but I think it perhaps was a good idea?
if the pictures are cool, you can pick how many or how few you want, and fill out the gaps on the wall!
Assorted cold weather items are on their way. I hope it doesn't get too cold for you to be out.

Right, Rod's a man without a hat too. You should hear him and his coughing, sore throat, and bright red nose at this point, too. I keep telling him that everyone else looks like a dork too....but it doesn't register.
Assorted cold weather items are on their way. I hope it doesn't get too cold for you to be out.
Thank you. I hope you didn't send (or spend) too much, because I don't really have any space to put anything. I have a nightstand, a dresser (both filled with medical supplies), but do have a place to hang a few clothing items (seems somewhat spacious). :)
were the black hawks tottering up there in their tall sky?

maybe a couple of vultures- they exist to pretend to confuse others that they are hawks. vultures tend to look wobbly.

of course they could in fact also be "officially" black hawks.

the movie director-I was sitting at a film society viewing of something from the southwest, a pivotal scene transpired in which someone indigenous saw the raven appear right when some ashes needed to be released. (aka: the raven is a Sign, or omen)

From the audience, during" ask the director questions", I pointed out that was a crow. (ok, I lied, I wanted to, but decided against it).
Regarding baby foods....

there now exists these squeeze packs that toddlers love (not in the jar) might like to try a couple of those- 2-3 ingredients max usually.

But I suspect its something really simple and a little salty- that your possibly craving..

they are thick liquids....and come with a screw it back on little lid so you could sip. it over a few hours....

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