My first experience with eating raw garlic came in the form of a prank some 20 years ago, when I lived in L.A. I think primarily to show off his fluent Hebrew to me, a friend of mine who had just returned from a 2-year gig in Israel took me to a local Israeli restaurant in the Valley. He insisted that I let him order for the both of us, and although the restaurant owners spoke perfect English, except for one comment, for this "show" they dialogued in their native tongue. So I had no idea what I had ordered, or was about to eat. Big mistake.
Handing me my bowl, the owner grinned as he asked me, "You married?" "Yes, why?" I replied, but he decided that instead of answering me he would kiss his wife, who was also working behind the counter in the tightest slacks I've seen since Mary Tyler Moore debuted on the Dick Van Dyke show. He also grabbed a part of her anatomy that made her swat his hand away, but she was giggling while he did it. "Geez," I thought to myself, "no wonder King David and King Solomon had so many problems with women!" I looked at my friend Mark for a clue but he just motioned for us to sit down and start eating.
As I took the first big forkful of what appeared to me to be rice, lentils, and some chopped nuts, I couldn't help but notice my friend Mark and the entire restaurant staff all staring at me in expectation. No longer was Mr. horny romantic restaurantuer fixated on his wife - now his eyes were fixed on me. "I guess they think I'm really going to like this dish" I naively thought to myself as I began to eat. After chewing the "nuts" for a couple seconds, the realization of what really was going on hit me too late. These were not peanuts or almonds I was masticating, these were raw cloves of Israeli garlic, and everyone was in on the joke except me!
Let me tell you right off what I learned the hard way. Chewing raw garlic is a shocking, extremely torturous dietary experience. As my tongue felt the heat of these burning embers dancing around my mouth, my brain went into fight-flight and I reached for the water faster than you could say "Mazeltov." With my friend laughing his "tuchas" off, I looked to the proprietor for help.
"What did you put in this dish, raw garlic?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes, of course," he replied matter of factly, grabbing the waste of his beautiful wife or girlfriend, "but don't worry. The fire in your mouth now will turn to fire in your pants later. It is a very passionate spice!"
Still unable to speak for laughter, my friend simply nodded and spurted out, "It's true. Scientifically proven!"
Now let me tell you two things about that. First of all, if garlic is a libido booster, which I tend to think it might be, you still have to remember that most women, including my precious wife, don't get that turned on when your entire body smells like it spent a week in Tony Soprano's mouth. Trust me, fire in the pants not withstanding, if my wife can't stand to kiss me, she isn't going to be inclined to do anything else. And eating raw garlic like I did at that restaurant left me smelling rank for about 3 days, no joke.
But secondly, this disease that we fight and labor against every day affects us adversely in many ways, including often wrecking our natural libido, neurally. This has been documented and published in many places, and many patients have confirmed it to me personally. It only makes sense - when you feel like you have the flu, can't think straight, or have excruciating muscle or body aches, sex usually isn't at the top of your list. Ask Maslow.
But because these viruses that are activated in us are in the CNS, and affect our brains, we also sometimes have some "circuitry problems" with our neurotransmitters. I mean, sometimes, the connection just doesn't work, if you get my drift.
My father-in-law visited me recently and couldn't believe how non-plussed I was, literally unaffected, by all the women around my life right now. Except for my main physician, who I rarely see, almost everyone at the clinic is female, patients and nurses alike. My neurotherapists are women. I live in a condo that has 80% single women in it. When I go to the gym it's almost all women. And none dresses conservatively.
My father-in-law asked me, "How do you handle it?"
I tried to explain to him, that truthfully, thanks to this disease, I have zero attraction to any of them at all - no thoughts, no desires, no "movement." He couldn't believe it, but that is the way it is. So that part I guess is a blessing in disguise. No temptation if Bathsheba happens to be showering on the roof next door.
But then when it comes to the times I want the libido to work, on those occasions when I don't feel wasted and my gorgeous wife is wearing those sexy pajamas and flashes me that million dollar smile, I found it actually can be resurrected, tactilely. As long as she gazes into my eyes, connects with my soul, and kisses me as only she can, my brain and body seem to respond.
If I've taken garlic that day I get two benefits.
The main one for me is that it makes me feel better, by retarding the viruses that are raging in my body. When you are on the Ampligen trial, you can't take any other anti-viral meds; but you can take raw garlic! I just completed my 20th treatment, and just about everyone I know who is or was on Ampligen uses garlic, and most cancer patients and survivors know about its antiviral properties. That the National Cancer Institute recommends it only underscores what most of us have learned experiencially- garlic kills viruses that hurt us. You can read more about that here, and here, and here. Whenever I take it, my body feels better. My muscles ache less, the flu-like symptoms diminish, and my sore back actually gets relief.
But also, it does seem to help with the libido. The secret is figuring out how to take raw garlic, and have it not affect your breath, so that he or she will still want to kiss you. Here's the routine I've developed thanks to my wife's detailed coaching:
1. "Drink" the garlic like a shot of tequila- stir the chopped raw garlic in a shot of milk and "throw" it back, down your throat, past your tongue as much as possible;
2. Brush you teeth and tongue no less than five times before attempting anything romantic.
3. After each brushing use a good rinse of Listerine Orange flavor.
4. After each mouthwash rinse gargle with fresh water.
If you follow this procedure you may find that you are feeling better not only because the garlic has sent the viruses into retreat mode, but also because "the fire in your mouth has turned to fire in your pants!"
