Our family got into an argument last night, but sadly, the subject is nothing new. My mother's disregard for my dad's M.E has always been apparent, at least within the last 5-7 years, but now with dad's condition gradually worsening before my very eyes, her disregard and his frustration has reached new levels.
He can easily be in bed for 12+ hours. She dislikes this. She seems to resent the rest he gets when she has to get up and do housework. She resents it when he goes to lay down during the day. If he is missing the day, or if it's late in the evening and there's still no sign of him, she will go upstairs and draw the curtains to say 'wakey wakey.' Or she will switch the light on and walk out again. For years, he has resented this. They have resented each other.
The argument last night, after she switched the light on to get him up, started with her commenting, 'I don't know how somebody could stay in bed that long without their body clock telling them to move. I could never lie there that long. My body would say, "What are you still doing here? Time to get uuup!" I don't know why his doesn't.' A comment she has made many times before. My dad replied, 'The clue is in the name: Chronic fatigue. People who don't have it have no idea what it feels like.' The argument turned to whether or not she knew what the fatigue felt like. She talked about her radiotherapy treatment in 2012 and how it was exhausting and she got no rest, yet had to come home to do housework, with no support. My father's retort: 'No support. We could have done the cooking and washing up no problem but your OCD doesn't allow anyone in the kitchen, "Don't touch that, no I'll do that," so they couldn't have done with your OCD. The fatigue then was temporary for 2 or 3 weeks, imagine having that every day for the rest of your life.'
It's an argument that ultimately gets nowhere, only becomes an argument that her stubborn inconsideration is a typical trait of Cancerians and she goes silent and no longer engages for the next few hours.
Sometimes I wonder what she'd think if I were diagnosed with M.E, which will never even be considered thanks to the black mark on my medical records.
FRUITCAKE.
In other news, as I can no longer eat those Genius pancakes that I despise every single day, I seem to be trying the only alternative I can find that is not a fibre bomb or filled with suspect ingredients: Schar waffles, gluten free but still wheat. ? Why has this gluten free brand with a great rep made waffles with wheat? Oh well, this is my unplanned opportunity to experiment with wheat, sans gluten, and test out my tolerance. I suspect oats and corn, so now I can watch wheat. Although, it's not the best time to be certain of the result... I'm already flaring, feeling like I've been abused in the night when I wake up in the morning, my muscles jolting a lot (I even did Thriller yesterday), and now my period showing up a week earlier than expected, which always causes gut pain the first 2-3 days.
Nothing can ever be simple, can it?
He can easily be in bed for 12+ hours. She dislikes this. She seems to resent the rest he gets when she has to get up and do housework. She resents it when he goes to lay down during the day. If he is missing the day, or if it's late in the evening and there's still no sign of him, she will go upstairs and draw the curtains to say 'wakey wakey.' Or she will switch the light on and walk out again. For years, he has resented this. They have resented each other.
The argument last night, after she switched the light on to get him up, started with her commenting, 'I don't know how somebody could stay in bed that long without their body clock telling them to move. I could never lie there that long. My body would say, "What are you still doing here? Time to get uuup!" I don't know why his doesn't.' A comment she has made many times before. My dad replied, 'The clue is in the name: Chronic fatigue. People who don't have it have no idea what it feels like.' The argument turned to whether or not she knew what the fatigue felt like. She talked about her radiotherapy treatment in 2012 and how it was exhausting and she got no rest, yet had to come home to do housework, with no support. My father's retort: 'No support. We could have done the cooking and washing up no problem but your OCD doesn't allow anyone in the kitchen, "Don't touch that, no I'll do that," so they couldn't have done with your OCD. The fatigue then was temporary for 2 or 3 weeks, imagine having that every day for the rest of your life.'
It's an argument that ultimately gets nowhere, only becomes an argument that her stubborn inconsideration is a typical trait of Cancerians and she goes silent and no longer engages for the next few hours.
Sometimes I wonder what she'd think if I were diagnosed with M.E, which will never even be considered thanks to the black mark on my medical records.
FRUITCAKE.
In other news, as I can no longer eat those Genius pancakes that I despise every single day, I seem to be trying the only alternative I can find that is not a fibre bomb or filled with suspect ingredients: Schar waffles, gluten free but still wheat. ? Why has this gluten free brand with a great rep made waffles with wheat? Oh well, this is my unplanned opportunity to experiment with wheat, sans gluten, and test out my tolerance. I suspect oats and corn, so now I can watch wheat. Although, it's not the best time to be certain of the result... I'm already flaring, feeling like I've been abused in the night when I wake up in the morning, my muscles jolting a lot (I even did Thriller yesterday), and now my period showing up a week earlier than expected, which always causes gut pain the first 2-3 days.
Nothing can ever be simple, can it?
