The year 2026. A tumbledown shack at the edge of the woods. A white Toyota Prius rolls up and Dana Crawley climbs out. She knocks at the door of the shack. The door swings open to reveal Fox Wessely.
Dana: How are you, Fox?
Fox: Dana. It’s been a long time.
Dana: You look well, Fox.
Fox: No, I don’t.
Dana: True. You look like hell. Just thought I’d try a little CBT for old times’ sakes.
Fox: Same old Dana. Come on in. Sorry about the mess. I haven’t tidied up since … since …
Dana: Yeah, I know. 2016. It was a rough time. It hurt us all. But you’ve got to move on, Fox.
Fox: Move on, move on … yeah.
There’s a can of Campbell’s tomato soup with a spoon in it on an old packing crate in the middle of the room. A stack of files rests on the crate beside the soup. There’s a tattered old armchair. Framed certificates hang lopsided on the walls, gathering dust. Dana starts leafing through the files.
Dana: Oh, Fox. You’re still obsessed with all this stuff.
Fox: Nothing’s changed, Dana.
Dana: Apart from the definitive proof that it was all a delusion, you mean?
Fox: It’s what they wanted us to think, Dana. But I’ve seen it with my own eyes. MUS are real.
Dana: You mean real as in not actually real?
Fox: Exactly. Don’t you see? Those pathogens they claimed they found .. how come they weren’t there when we looked before?
Dana: Because we didn’t know what to look for?
Fox: No! Because the feeble-minded people with MUS were deliberately infected before they were tested. And I know how.
A folder falls from Dana’s hands. She stares hard at Fox.
Dana: Not this again, Fox. We’ve been here bef…
Fox: Dana, there’s something you need to see. Come on.
He turns to lead her out back, pauses to take a spoonful of Campbell’s soup.
Dana: Tell me that’s not all you eat, Fox.
Fox: It’s the only thing that’s safe, Dana. Come on.
He leads her to a door. He slides back a heavy bolt. The door creaks on its hinges as he pulls it open. He reaches in and flips on a light.
Dana: In your basement?
Fox: They watch, Dana. They have drones now, with x-ray vision.
Dana: Fox, please. I’m worried about you. You’re getting paranoid again.
Fox: You won’t be saying that in a minute. Come on.
He leads her down into the basement. At the bottom of the stairs he flips another light switch. A series of overhead fluorescent tubes flicker on then shine brightly, revealing a line of cryogenic chambers. A human form can just be seen through the door of each chamber.
Dana: Who are these people, Fox?
Fox: All victims of MUS. You believe me now?
Dana: Fox, you’re out of your mind! You’re keeping these people in your basement?
Fox: I had to, Dana. It was the only way. I had to preserve the evidence.
Dana: What evidence?
Fox: Exactly!
Dana: You mean there is no evidence?
Fox: Like we always said. And that was the proof!
Dana: But they found evidence, Fox, you know they did.
Fox reaches to a table and picks up a plastic bottle marked “Vitamin C”. He shakes the bottle.
Fox: It was in the supplements, Dana! They weaponised alien pathogens and put them in the supplements. That’s why all the people with false illness beliefs ended up actually sick. It was the supplements, don’t you see?
Dana: But what about all the people who took supplements who didn’t get sick?
Fox: That’s the beauty of it. The pathogens were engineered to seek out false illness beliefs and only mutate into active forms when they found them.
Dana pauses, frowns, then walks up and down the line of cryogenic chambers.
Dana: Who else knows about this, Fox?
Fox: More than you might think. It’s not just me. There’s a whole psych underground out there and we're growing stronger. They thought they had finished us. They thought they had buried the truth. But the truth is still out there.
Dana: It’s definitely out there, Fox.
Da da dah da dee dah … Da da dah da dee dah … Dee dah dee dah dee dah …..
In the next episode … Dana tests herself for MUS (by sending herself a questionnaire) and finds worrying results. Fox and the Psych Underground move closer to uncovering the true identity of The Smirking Man
Dana: How are you, Fox?
Fox: Dana. It’s been a long time.
Dana: You look well, Fox.
Fox: No, I don’t.
Dana: True. You look like hell. Just thought I’d try a little CBT for old times’ sakes.
Fox: Same old Dana. Come on in. Sorry about the mess. I haven’t tidied up since … since …
Dana: Yeah, I know. 2016. It was a rough time. It hurt us all. But you’ve got to move on, Fox.
Fox: Move on, move on … yeah.
There’s a can of Campbell’s tomato soup with a spoon in it on an old packing crate in the middle of the room. A stack of files rests on the crate beside the soup. There’s a tattered old armchair. Framed certificates hang lopsided on the walls, gathering dust. Dana starts leafing through the files.
Dana: Oh, Fox. You’re still obsessed with all this stuff.
Fox: Nothing’s changed, Dana.
Dana: Apart from the definitive proof that it was all a delusion, you mean?
Fox: It’s what they wanted us to think, Dana. But I’ve seen it with my own eyes. MUS are real.
Dana: You mean real as in not actually real?
Fox: Exactly. Don’t you see? Those pathogens they claimed they found .. how come they weren’t there when we looked before?
Dana: Because we didn’t know what to look for?
Fox: No! Because the feeble-minded people with MUS were deliberately infected before they were tested. And I know how.
A folder falls from Dana’s hands. She stares hard at Fox.
Dana: Not this again, Fox. We’ve been here bef…
Fox: Dana, there’s something you need to see. Come on.
He turns to lead her out back, pauses to take a spoonful of Campbell’s soup.
Dana: Tell me that’s not all you eat, Fox.
Fox: It’s the only thing that’s safe, Dana. Come on.
He leads her to a door. He slides back a heavy bolt. The door creaks on its hinges as he pulls it open. He reaches in and flips on a light.
Dana: In your basement?
Fox: They watch, Dana. They have drones now, with x-ray vision.
Dana: Fox, please. I’m worried about you. You’re getting paranoid again.
Fox: You won’t be saying that in a minute. Come on.
He leads her down into the basement. At the bottom of the stairs he flips another light switch. A series of overhead fluorescent tubes flicker on then shine brightly, revealing a line of cryogenic chambers. A human form can just be seen through the door of each chamber.
Dana: Who are these people, Fox?
Fox: All victims of MUS. You believe me now?
Dana: Fox, you’re out of your mind! You’re keeping these people in your basement?
Fox: I had to, Dana. It was the only way. I had to preserve the evidence.
Dana: What evidence?
Fox: Exactly!
Dana: You mean there is no evidence?
Fox: Like we always said. And that was the proof!
Dana: But they found evidence, Fox, you know they did.
Fox reaches to a table and picks up a plastic bottle marked “Vitamin C”. He shakes the bottle.
Fox: It was in the supplements, Dana! They weaponised alien pathogens and put them in the supplements. That’s why all the people with false illness beliefs ended up actually sick. It was the supplements, don’t you see?
Dana: But what about all the people who took supplements who didn’t get sick?
Fox: That’s the beauty of it. The pathogens were engineered to seek out false illness beliefs and only mutate into active forms when they found them.
Dana pauses, frowns, then walks up and down the line of cryogenic chambers.
Dana: Who else knows about this, Fox?
Fox: More than you might think. It’s not just me. There’s a whole psych underground out there and we're growing stronger. They thought they had finished us. They thought they had buried the truth. But the truth is still out there.
Dana: It’s definitely out there, Fox.
Da da dah da dee dah … Da da dah da dee dah … Dee dah dee dah dee dah …..
In the next episode … Dana tests herself for MUS (by sending herself a questionnaire) and finds worrying results. Fox and the Psych Underground move closer to uncovering the true identity of The Smirking Man
