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Homelessness rant

I don't know where to even start.

I was so close. I was healing. I was recovering.

Then I had a few hour's notice to find somewhere else to sleep. The fan I'd been using as protective white noise for months was suddenly "too disruptive" for my dad to sleep, and without warning he put his foot down and said not another night.

And I was left scrambling.

I was still welcome to stay at the family's house, of course, I simply couldn't sleep there. Or rest there. Because when I most needed rest that was when my dad decided to begin some major construction work on the wall next to my head. I spent a few nights living out of my dad's SUV in the garage. I spent a few nights at a family friend's guest cottage. I spent the night in one friend's bathroom. And then - I got my own car.

I've been living out of a 2 door car for about two weeks, now.

No, I'm not "well enough" to. I'm not eating enough, not sleeping enough, not resting enough, my health is crashing in all sorts of ways, and I'm just fighting to survive.

Technically, there are places I could stay, I just keep getting unexpectedly kicked out of them. After a 2 hour drive to one place i find out they're having overnight company the next night - I drove back, unsafe to drive, hit a curb going through an intersection, had countless near misses. Family invites me back to their place then cooks onions, which forces me to evacuate the house, unable to enter even with my mask...then while living out of their driveway they continue to reheat the onions for 4 days straight. I put my foot down and said you've got to AT LEAST warn me, you wonder why I'm not living in the house...are you kidding me?

So, I'm homeless. But everyone who knows me is in complete denial about it. "You're being a little overdramatic." Excuse me? Do you want to help me figure out where I'm goign to sleep tonight?

It's raining nearly every day. I don't have sufficient clothing. Only 2 nights ago I managed to get a sleeping bag that keeps me warm enough at night.

Everything is a gigantic mess.

And the weird thing is, 99% of people who know me jsut casually assume that some option must be available to me that I'm simply choosing not to take.

That caregiving I qualify for? I'm losing tpose benefits because no agency will work with someone who doesn't have housing and I can't find an individual who will agree to take the 2 weeks of classes, and if you don't use your benefits, the state assumes you don't need them and then no longer qualify.

I qualify for housing assistance - the waitlists are years long. Yay.

I have friends offering to crash at their places but the chemical issues, the noise issues, all the issues....it has to be an environment I can control. Which means a place to myself.

The family friends with a guest house I'm more than welcome to use whenever it isn't otherwise occupied? Apparently living in their driveway isn't an option because it might make them "uncomfortable".

Fine, I'll sleep in a parking lot instead and risk violent attack or worse. Seriously? I'm just kinda... flabberghasted. And I SO do not have the time and energy to waste on that stuff.

Doing the best I can o keep up with everything. Sorry I'm not replyign to all private correspondences...tryign to stay safe and warm and fed right now is taking everything I've got.
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Comments

T
Oh no.. how horrific, is there a social worker you could phone? To help push your housing application throu faster? (this is sometimes done in crisises if someone has NOWHERE to go and having to sleep in the car should push you up the waiting list).
............
"And the weird thing is, 99% of people who know me jsut casually assume that some option must be available to me that I'm simply choosing not to take. "

I know that one only to well.

" That caregiving I qualify for? I'm losing tpose benefits because no agency will work with someone who doesn't have housing and I can't find an individual who will agree to take the 2 weeks of classes, and if you don't use your benefits, the state assumes you don't need them and then no longer qualify."

OH NO.. do get in touch with a social worker and see if she can some how make sure you dont loose anything.
 
T
"Fine, I'll sleep in a parking lot instead and risk violent attack or worse. Seriously? I'm just kinda... flabberghasted. "

sighs.. Ive had to do that a few times in the past when family and friends couldnt have me stay for their reasons from having a visitor there at the time.. to all kinds of excuses. Ive ended up (back when I was still able to drive) having to sleep in a train station carpark.
 
Dainty
Tania I've been in touch with several social workers....they are unable to help. Basically say their hands are tied. because i can't do group housing or live in an apartment with noisy neighbors, basically they just say there's nothing available.

The benefits are already lost. Despite being closely in touch with several different caseworkers. "The System" only really works for people who are well, it would seem...
 
T
**sighs** Im very very sorry dainty to hear that. Yes Im finding too that we fall throu big gaps in things.
 
Hell...Hath...No...Fury..
Dainty, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Homelessness isn't something I ever wish to go through again, the effect on our health is utterly horrific when we have little options.
I had to stay with friends in another part of the country when I was kicked out of my family home with only a few hours warning. The friends house was unbelievably unsuitable but with no car to sleep in, it was the only choice. I'll always be grateful to them but would never do it again. Sometimes there are just no good choices for people like us :-(
I'm so sorry you are going through this x
 
5150
oh my, i am so upset about this. the main thing is that your father doesn't "Get" what your true situation is (how sick you really are). Unimaginable to me that a parent will try to make your life harder rather than help you at such a horrible time as this disease brings. I cannot envision it clearly without trembling.
Dear Dainty, you Dad needs to reevaluate his priorities. Best wishes for your future.
 
P
DAINTY, before I got sick I was a social worker. I worked at the Colorado coalition for the homeless as a case manager and out reach worker and then later I was the director of of a homeless coalition.

I would love to help you find housing. I was in a very similar situation and almost end up homeless but luckily I was able to use my skills and experience and find housing for myself. I'd love to be able to help you. TWO THINGS ARE IN YOUR FAVOR 1) you probably meet HUD's defintion of homelessness and you 2) you have a disability. There are programs that serve solely these populations.
My subsidized apartment is for the elderly and disabled. Some programs will prioritize people on their waiting lists who are homeless or disabled. Most urban areas have absurdly long waits, but rural can be much shorter. They prioritized people who are local. All of these factors shorten my wait time to around 3 months.

I am new to these boards, but if there is way to private message me, I could provide some suggestion.
 
Dainty
@L'engle The car I was using broke down a couple times and is now officially dead. Back at my family's place things became shockingly bad - the only way I'm getting through it is plotting my escape 24/7. I've been living out of the dead car in the garage. It's really cold and no privacy.

I've accomplished a lot to free myself so far. Sorted through everything I owned, got rid of about half of it and put the rest in a rented storage unit so I won't have to come back here. Some friends have loaned me enough money to purchase a cargo van, I'm having a lot of trouble actually getting out to look at vans right now but am at last resorting to more desperate strategies such as taking a cab because the only person I know who can help me is too busy.

The one van that was already fitted with insulation and a battery setup looks like it's going to fall through due to mechanical and emissions issues, so once I get a cargo van it'll be a matter of attempting to "build" - on the road - something warm and comfortable enough to rest in.

Some days it doesn't feel like I'm going to make it. I'm doing my darnest though, and have several friends supporting me that's been key to me pulling through so far. All I know is to keep trying and to keep going. Once I get out i know things are still going to be hard, but the price of "living" here is too high.
 
L'engle
Wow. No one should ever be in your situation! I hope someone is checking in with you every day at least, especially if your location is transient. Thinking about you!
 
boohealth
I would get a conversion van, better than cargo--the seats turn into a bed, and there are curtains that close, and windows that crack open, with screens. I wouldn't be too angry at your family. They have a right to have a life--maybe your Dad is a light sleeper and the fan kept him up. Maybe they just want to cook onions without always telling you--. It's important to see it from another's perspective--and family are not really the ideals we wish they would be. Good luck.
 

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