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    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of and finding treatments for complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia (FM), long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

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A Personal Ad on Phoenix Rising

(Pretend that this is an actual ad in a newspaper. Like the old dating ads, minus the dating and the online craziness. Wait, we are online...yeek. Hope this goes well.) :eek:

Hello,

I am looking for a friend. I am not looking for a dating partner, I am looking for a friend. Not just a friend online, but a person to actually speak with on the phone. I am glad to have Phoenix Rising, but it would be really nice to touch base with another human who is also dealing with CFS and Fibro and not just on the net. I have done the whole email thing, but it's really not the same.

I don't "need" to talk to someone all of the time, but it would be nice to touch base. Do you need a friend?

I would love to have another CFS friend who is single. It would be really nice to talk about what it is like to live alone and deal with a chronic illness. It's a whole different world then when someone is married, although you can be just as isolated while being married too.

Having CFS is isolating and I need people in my life that I can talk to and that speak my language. I am 40, I like music and I like talking about other things than just CFS. I think that is somewhat important to talk about things one likes or who you are, not just as an ill person. You don't have to like music, but I want to talk about positive things too.

If this is something that seems worth trying, please be in touch. No worries on a constant calling companion as I am not a person who loves the phone. But a CFS phone mate that blooms into a friendship would be really nice.

I have too many well people in my life and I am sick of the facade. I want someone that I can open up to about what it is like being ill and they won't judge me.

Private message me if you are interested. And....no weirdos. If you know you are really weird, don't respond. ;)

I understand completely that many will not want to do this and that's ok. It's just a thought that life anymore is way too virtual.

Thank you.
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Comments

Oh, sorry. Either. I would like to have a friend with CFS regardless of sex. I get along with males or females. This is not a dating situation. Just friends.
 
Hi, The Spitfire- I encourage you post this in the relationship forum I moderate on this site, if you feel comfortable doing so. I think lots of people are seeking connection just like you are. You are not alone, believe me. I would love to see more people make connections and feel less isolate and alone. It is such a huge part of the pain and sufferig of this condition. I think you could be an real inspiration and model for others to take the step to reach out. Think about and do what works for you, but it was a great blog post, and took some courage to do it, :victory: no matter what you decide!:D

Wendy
 
Wendy, it's funny, I always gravitate right to the blogs and I guess many don't. Will do it. I think it would be good for so many people, even those that are so sick to just have even a message on their machine saying, "hi, I am thinking of you, call me or don't, but wanted to reach out!"

Will do it. Thanks, Wendy!
 
Good point, Mya! And I was thinking, in some else's mind, I could be a weirdo. I guess you will know if you have an ax in your closet, a psycho obsession with a person and have newspaper clippings of a certain person hung all over your room with candles throughout the room as well.

"PUT THE LOTION, IN THE BASKET."
 
Spitfire, this is the best personal ad I've ever seen. I HATE phones, so no PM from me!! Please keep us posted on the results of this experiment! I think you're up to 60 views on the forum.
 
Maddie, you are so funny. So far, it's all men that are interested in talking. No women....hmmmmm.. I really would like to bond with some females. I like men friends too, but women would get me more with CFS, PMS, and all of the factors that CFS affects when it comes to being a woman. I have had Endometriosis and IC. 2 very common female ailments. It would be great to speak with women!
 
Hi Spitfire!
You have courage to post an "personal ad" for friends. It's a great idea. I totally understand where you are coming from. I am single, female, 41, have had CFS for years now. I live in FL but am in PA now visiting family. I am still friends with some old healthy friends, but they don't understand about CFS, and why I am so different from who I used to be before CFS. So that is tough to deal with. It's hard to make friends in Florida because everyone is about 90 years old. (no offence to the 90 year olds- I just want friends who are not 50 years older than i am- LOL). The isolation just really is so depressing, because I am a friendly and somewhat social person. I go to the beach and chat with the older folks and vacationers, but I haven't met any nice women to have friendships with. Most women my age are married and have kids and many of them work on top of it all. OMG- I can't even imagine having the energy to do all that!!!!! .....
 
more----
I like music too - all kinds- but favs are lady gaga, pink, other pop stuff. I am in love with Justin Bieber. I have pics of him all over my bedroom walls (and ceiling) and I am pretty sure he loves me too. I send him a handwritten letter everyday. (Just kidding!!!!!-about Bieber. LOL) What else- I like many types of art, cultural things, nature, animals, especially dogs. Lately I am on this kick that I really want to learn photography, which is funny because I am a techno-phobe/idiot. (Just learned how to use a digital point and shoot camera last summer-- duh, and welcome to 2010- LOL).
well that's plenty about me for now. Let me know if you want to communicate- on this site or whatever. Oh I just realized that I should have mentioned that I am straight, but have given up on finding a boyfriend for now.(my last foray into dating was a big mess.) Hopefully in the future, but for now I would love to find some friends that I connect with.
Take care, hope you are having a good night-
Bigmama2
 
Yo Big MAma, you are funny and have a good disposition. Yes, I would like to communicate. I am in PA too.
 
The Spitfire;bt5325 said:
Good point, Mya! And I was thinking, in some else's mind, I could be a weirdo. I guess you will know if you have an ax in your closet, a psycho obsession with a person and have newspaper clippings of a certain person hung all over your room with candles throughout the room as well.

"PUT THE LOTION, IN THE BASKET."

hahaha that counts me out as I used to keep an axe under my bed (Im going to say it was for protection but one never knows ;) )..

On a more serious note.. what a great idea to post an ad :) . I hope you make some good phone friends (I really dislike phones)
 

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Misfit Toy
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