This past month has been hell on earth for me with the Lyme arthritis and my doctor thinks some of it is Gout. She said my uric acid level is twice what it should be. I'm just dying. Hips, lower back, all the way down the legs, right knee, right ankle, right foot. And the usual pain all over from the fibro. Alot of it is weather related. I usually do not get a severe attack like this till August, but the weather has been thunderstorming for a month and lots of humidity.
So, I did move. I'm in a better place. But they had said the movers would do everything, and instead, they left me with about forty six boxes I had to unpack myself. So that has greatly contributed to my pain. But I did it. It ruined me, but I did it.
I don't feel fully moved in yet. I have alot of things to still put in the right places and hang up and nothing is where I want it right now. That's going to take time. And I've been in way too much pain to finish it up.
I went to a Fourth of July food party they had here over the weekend. Almost didn't make it because of the pain, but I went a bit late. I got asked what I do or did for a living. UGH! That really got to me. And I was like, I've been on disability for a really LONG time from Advanced Lyme Disease. I didn't bother to mention CFIDS/ME or anything. Probably would have gotten blank stares. I didn't stay at the party long because of the pain I was in. And I found, I got fatigued after an hour. But it was nice to eat and do something normal, even for a very short time.
No one knew I was actually suicidal the night before because of the severe pain. My doctor is not taking me seriously enough. I told her there have been nights recently where I have woken up from the pain and was almost unable to stand up because of it. She still just doesn't get it. She wants me to do this water therapy at a rehab hospital pool. It might actually help, but I'm considering canceling it because the pain is too bad for me to do anything at all. I'm just in too bad a flare up. And some of the sessions, I would have to drive myself across town and home because I don't have enough free rides off my insurance. It's too far away now that I've moved. And I think I would be too fatigued to make it home on my own. I cannot afford a cab right now. The move drained me dry with money.
That was another thing, they kept telling me I wouldn't have to spend a dime. Not true. They moved me in hundred degree heat. I lost all the contents of my fridge because of it. All the spoilable food. I had to replace all that stuff. And the bank charged me a fortune to get new checks and address labels. The DMV charged me to switch my license over to the new address. The movers buried all my cookware and food, and I had no choice but to buy take out food till I was able to unbury everything. People don't realize that when you are poor, it is essential that you can cook at home. And especially when you have all the health issues we have, you need to be able to make your own food. So I had to spend on stuff, and none of it was what I should have been eating, and that has contributed to my flareup. There were other expenses. I had to buy boxes and boxes of garbage bags to throw out all the wrapping papers the movers used on my stuff. The money just added up. In total, this move has cost me about four hundred dollars or more. And that doesn't include the new bed I just bought. I needed one anyway, but I think they bent my mattress in the move and made it worse. So I had to get one. Can't prove that to claim it. They broke one of my kitchen chairs and scratched all my furniture very badly. And they will not compensate me because of the insurance deductible. Lovely.
And to add insult to injury, I think the Housing Authority knew my neighbor was a dangerous schizophrenic and they moved me in there and ruined my life. The last conversation I had with the manager over there, he told me my neighbor has been "screaming for years". And there were other clues. My neighbor told me another neighbor used to call the police on him. And then I ran into a former worker for the place, she used to be one of the secretaries, and she said he's got severe mental illness. So I think they knew all about it, put me in there around that, and just hoped for the best. They ruined my life. And contributed greatly to my health suffering. And I doubt there is anything I can do about it because it has to be proven.
So I'm in my new place, in severe pain. I can't finish doing anything in here till the flare calms down and I haven't seen it calm down yet. I'm worse than ever. And have been starting to get the arthritis in my wrists and hands, too. And I need my hands to type and do the work I do on the computer.
It's hard to really describe my mood. Yes, I'm in a better place, however, the point was, I didn't want to move. And I was manipulated into it and really didn't have a choice. It was that or stay and probably get knifed, raped, or who knows what. I'm in alot of pain. I have no clue if I will be happier in a few months once I feel settled or not. But at the moment, I feel sort of battered and bruised and abused. And my crazy, violent, screaming schizophrenic neighbor, he gets to stay there. And I just don't feel it's fair. I loved my apartment. I was comfortable in my apartment. I liked the staff over there. I was just getting to know some of my neighbors after years of being there. And I shouldn't have been the one who had to move. I followed all the rules there, while he breaks every rule night and day. But it was me who had to leave, me who had to be put in a situation that caused me more physical pain, drained me financially, ruined my furniture, and now I'm in a place where I only know one person. Oh, and they are insanely tough on the cleaning inspections here, I have no clue how I'm supposed to keep it hotel clean when I'm in alot of pain and could care less. More stress.
So, yeah, I'm just not a happy camper right now. And the unbearable pain is making me a crab. Was it worth it? The silence, the safety, there is no price tag on those things. But the pain wasn't worth anything.
So, I did move. I'm in a better place. But they had said the movers would do everything, and instead, they left me with about forty six boxes I had to unpack myself. So that has greatly contributed to my pain. But I did it. It ruined me, but I did it.
I don't feel fully moved in yet. I have alot of things to still put in the right places and hang up and nothing is where I want it right now. That's going to take time. And I've been in way too much pain to finish it up.
I went to a Fourth of July food party they had here over the weekend. Almost didn't make it because of the pain, but I went a bit late. I got asked what I do or did for a living. UGH! That really got to me. And I was like, I've been on disability for a really LONG time from Advanced Lyme Disease. I didn't bother to mention CFIDS/ME or anything. Probably would have gotten blank stares. I didn't stay at the party long because of the pain I was in. And I found, I got fatigued after an hour. But it was nice to eat and do something normal, even for a very short time.
No one knew I was actually suicidal the night before because of the severe pain. My doctor is not taking me seriously enough. I told her there have been nights recently where I have woken up from the pain and was almost unable to stand up because of it. She still just doesn't get it. She wants me to do this water therapy at a rehab hospital pool. It might actually help, but I'm considering canceling it because the pain is too bad for me to do anything at all. I'm just in too bad a flare up. And some of the sessions, I would have to drive myself across town and home because I don't have enough free rides off my insurance. It's too far away now that I've moved. And I think I would be too fatigued to make it home on my own. I cannot afford a cab right now. The move drained me dry with money.
That was another thing, they kept telling me I wouldn't have to spend a dime. Not true. They moved me in hundred degree heat. I lost all the contents of my fridge because of it. All the spoilable food. I had to replace all that stuff. And the bank charged me a fortune to get new checks and address labels. The DMV charged me to switch my license over to the new address. The movers buried all my cookware and food, and I had no choice but to buy take out food till I was able to unbury everything. People don't realize that when you are poor, it is essential that you can cook at home. And especially when you have all the health issues we have, you need to be able to make your own food. So I had to spend on stuff, and none of it was what I should have been eating, and that has contributed to my flareup. There were other expenses. I had to buy boxes and boxes of garbage bags to throw out all the wrapping papers the movers used on my stuff. The money just added up. In total, this move has cost me about four hundred dollars or more. And that doesn't include the new bed I just bought. I needed one anyway, but I think they bent my mattress in the move and made it worse. So I had to get one. Can't prove that to claim it. They broke one of my kitchen chairs and scratched all my furniture very badly. And they will not compensate me because of the insurance deductible. Lovely.
And to add insult to injury, I think the Housing Authority knew my neighbor was a dangerous schizophrenic and they moved me in there and ruined my life. The last conversation I had with the manager over there, he told me my neighbor has been "screaming for years". And there were other clues. My neighbor told me another neighbor used to call the police on him. And then I ran into a former worker for the place, she used to be one of the secretaries, and she said he's got severe mental illness. So I think they knew all about it, put me in there around that, and just hoped for the best. They ruined my life. And contributed greatly to my health suffering. And I doubt there is anything I can do about it because it has to be proven.
So I'm in my new place, in severe pain. I can't finish doing anything in here till the flare calms down and I haven't seen it calm down yet. I'm worse than ever. And have been starting to get the arthritis in my wrists and hands, too. And I need my hands to type and do the work I do on the computer.
It's hard to really describe my mood. Yes, I'm in a better place, however, the point was, I didn't want to move. And I was manipulated into it and really didn't have a choice. It was that or stay and probably get knifed, raped, or who knows what. I'm in alot of pain. I have no clue if I will be happier in a few months once I feel settled or not. But at the moment, I feel sort of battered and bruised and abused. And my crazy, violent, screaming schizophrenic neighbor, he gets to stay there. And I just don't feel it's fair. I loved my apartment. I was comfortable in my apartment. I liked the staff over there. I was just getting to know some of my neighbors after years of being there. And I shouldn't have been the one who had to move. I followed all the rules there, while he breaks every rule night and day. But it was me who had to leave, me who had to be put in a situation that caused me more physical pain, drained me financially, ruined my furniture, and now I'm in a place where I only know one person. Oh, and they are insanely tough on the cleaning inspections here, I have no clue how I'm supposed to keep it hotel clean when I'm in alot of pain and could care less. More stress.
So, yeah, I'm just not a happy camper right now. And the unbearable pain is making me a crab. Was it worth it? The silence, the safety, there is no price tag on those things. But the pain wasn't worth anything.
