I think what always surprises me the most is how I think I am well enough to do something, then I go to do it and I can't, or it's insanely hard. Anything from small things like hanging up a pile of clothing to larger things like cleaning off my car.
Today, I really thought I was well enough to go out there and clean off my car from the snow. I really believed I was okay enough to do it. I wasn't. My arms were so weak, I could barely move the snow at all. I had to rest every minute. And I got lightheaded, like I had to sit down. It was bad. I still pushed it and cleaned the car off and the maint people who work here used a snowblower and a plow around it, so I can take the car out if I want. However, I've now made myself so sick that I can't go out. So, it was almost pointless, depending on how long the PEM lasts this time.
I'm really flaring tonight. It could last awhile, I never know. We'll see how I am tomorrow. It's not supposed to snow here again until the twentieth. Hopefully. So I have awhile to get out to the store again.
Fever, dizzy, headache, fatigued, pain all over. Totally dying.
I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do these things. The truth is, I need someone to help me. But I don't get anyone in because they all steal. My family had horrible experiences with that. My grandmother and my mother had things stolen from them. And my aunt had terrible experiences all last year with that. I am just not up to being stolen from. I've been through too much, and even though I don't have alot of things, some of them are sentimental and I don't want to lose them right now. So, I'm struggling horribly all by myself. No one has been helping me with anything. And it's really hard to do this stuff alone. I'm just not well.
Today was a massive thing. But I get this sick just doing regular stuff. I actually have to rest while hanging up clothing or folding laundry. Like I have to stop after a few minutes and rest up in between doing it. It happens if I just want to freshen my cat's food and litter. Like I'll wash her water dish and put fresh water out, put fresh cat food out, then I have to rest before I can change the litter box.
Everything is always I have to sit awhile, I have to rest. I have to lay down. No matter what I want to do, I start stuff and a few minutes later, it's I have to rest. I'm only forty, you'd think I was a hundred and ten. And the sad thing is, there are plenty of old people with a hundred times my energy.
Today, I really thought I was well enough to go out there and clean off my car from the snow. I really believed I was okay enough to do it. I wasn't. My arms were so weak, I could barely move the snow at all. I had to rest every minute. And I got lightheaded, like I had to sit down. It was bad. I still pushed it and cleaned the car off and the maint people who work here used a snowblower and a plow around it, so I can take the car out if I want. However, I've now made myself so sick that I can't go out. So, it was almost pointless, depending on how long the PEM lasts this time.
I'm really flaring tonight. It could last awhile, I never know. We'll see how I am tomorrow. It's not supposed to snow here again until the twentieth. Hopefully. So I have awhile to get out to the store again.
Fever, dizzy, headache, fatigued, pain all over. Totally dying.
I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do these things. The truth is, I need someone to help me. But I don't get anyone in because they all steal. My family had horrible experiences with that. My grandmother and my mother had things stolen from them. And my aunt had terrible experiences all last year with that. I am just not up to being stolen from. I've been through too much, and even though I don't have alot of things, some of them are sentimental and I don't want to lose them right now. So, I'm struggling horribly all by myself. No one has been helping me with anything. And it's really hard to do this stuff alone. I'm just not well.
Today was a massive thing. But I get this sick just doing regular stuff. I actually have to rest while hanging up clothing or folding laundry. Like I have to stop after a few minutes and rest up in between doing it. It happens if I just want to freshen my cat's food and litter. Like I'll wash her water dish and put fresh water out, put fresh cat food out, then I have to rest before I can change the litter box.
Everything is always I have to sit awhile, I have to rest. I have to lay down. No matter what I want to do, I start stuff and a few minutes later, it's I have to rest. I'm only forty, you'd think I was a hundred and ten. And the sad thing is, there are plenty of old people with a hundred times my energy.