After many years of being away from full-time work, I just committed to a short stint of FULL TIME work.
After a week...I have managed...three days. I feel like somebody has run over my body with a lawn mower. And this is an improvement. 13 years ago, I was like a frog stuck in formaldahyde, gawping at a world that was strangely removed and distorted. I'm wondering should I go to my boss and 'confess' that I have a disability? The most degrading aspect of CFS/ME is the total lack of acknowledgement in the general community (and let's not get started about doctors) about this extremely debilitating illness. There is no space in the work place to negotiate the need to rest and recuperate.
However, 13 years of social isolation has been terrible. I eased into part-time work last year, and even though it has been the most difficult thing I have ever done (I felt like a fraud, faking that I felt 'healthy'), my mental health has improved. CFS/ME took away my social world, and I was very young when I got it. Now I have a social network of friends again, none of whom know I sick I was (or still am).
What a strange world we live in. The worst part of this illness is that while I might accept myself and my limitations, others don't. So, here I am, realising I just can't do full time, but scared that if I tell my boss I'll get a bad reputation in the very small sector that I work in.
Time to go to bed, read 'Walden' and think upon self-acceptance, joy in nature, and the stupidity of man...
After a week...I have managed...three days. I feel like somebody has run over my body with a lawn mower. And this is an improvement. 13 years ago, I was like a frog stuck in formaldahyde, gawping at a world that was strangely removed and distorted. I'm wondering should I go to my boss and 'confess' that I have a disability? The most degrading aspect of CFS/ME is the total lack of acknowledgement in the general community (and let's not get started about doctors) about this extremely debilitating illness. There is no space in the work place to negotiate the need to rest and recuperate.
However, 13 years of social isolation has been terrible. I eased into part-time work last year, and even though it has been the most difficult thing I have ever done (I felt like a fraud, faking that I felt 'healthy'), my mental health has improved. CFS/ME took away my social world, and I was very young when I got it. Now I have a social network of friends again, none of whom know I sick I was (or still am).
What a strange world we live in. The worst part of this illness is that while I might accept myself and my limitations, others don't. So, here I am, realising I just can't do full time, but scared that if I tell my boss I'll get a bad reputation in the very small sector that I work in.
Time to go to bed, read 'Walden' and think upon self-acceptance, joy in nature, and the stupidity of man...