Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The weather has turned cooler and overcast these days. Summer is over.
It seems every year that in the change of seasons from summer to fall, I experience some downturn. Some years have been worse than others. This fall so far has been, I think, the gentlest one in over a decade.
I havent gone out even for a walk, in over a week. That has something to do with windy, rainy weather. It also has to do with a lower level of energy. And a recent reminder of how much I dont like to crash. So I am playing it safe at present.
Unlike other autumns, though, I feel some contentment with this quieter life. I dont really feel a desire to go uptown, for instance. To do the grocery shopping. To scan the streets for someone I know.
The loneliness is not nearly what it was such a short time ago. That has everything to do with having formed friendships on the net, and with having some work online as well.
I no longer fear that if I disappeared, nobody would notice. I no longer believe that if I were to vanish, nobody would come to look for me.
This is a source of contentment for me.
The weather has turned cooler and overcast these days. Summer is over.
It seems every year that in the change of seasons from summer to fall, I experience some downturn. Some years have been worse than others. This fall so far has been, I think, the gentlest one in over a decade.
I havent gone out even for a walk, in over a week. That has something to do with windy, rainy weather. It also has to do with a lower level of energy. And a recent reminder of how much I dont like to crash. So I am playing it safe at present.
Unlike other autumns, though, I feel some contentment with this quieter life. I dont really feel a desire to go uptown, for instance. To do the grocery shopping. To scan the streets for someone I know.
The loneliness is not nearly what it was such a short time ago. That has everything to do with having formed friendships on the net, and with having some work online as well.
I no longer fear that if I disappeared, nobody would notice. I no longer believe that if I were to vanish, nobody would come to look for me.
This is a source of contentment for me.