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i am angry on family (cloth wash asthma hell)

1678394844931.png
because they tried to help and made it involuntarely repeatedly worse.
my worsening asthma is a real problem the recent years. especially washing detergents for cloths makes me bad. breathing, coughing. higher sensitivity to other allergens.

so the nursing home switched the detergent, now i have a problem. after not changing cloths for weeks i asked my sis if she could help me out. and she was lovely and said yes despite beeing in a hurry now because she was close to go on vacation.
my sis is a really lovely person, very peaceful, nice, not seeking confrontations and got the nickname unicorn in the friends and family circles. she is basically the opposite to me, i am fast to confront if things annoy me, and nowadays i am annoyed pretty fast due to this damn sickness because everything somebody does somebody makes my symptoms worse. and symptoms are bad enough that i barely can sit things out.

therefore i asked if she could wash and send me washed clothes i just ordered from the store, completely new.
i asked her to
- wash without any soap, detergents etc. just water
- wash twice
- hang out a few days until it doesnt smell after anything anymore
- send to me

and she did wash it and send it to me. but it reeked BADLY after washing detergents.
i now have a ball of fresh smelling clothes in my bathroom which makes me sick every time i go into the bathroom. i am thinking about throwing the cloth into the garbage or sent it back. idk.

but i am really pissed and i want to tell her how this annoys me. but i cant and i shant. she meant well and actually wanted to help, if i complain it will hurt her deeply. so i just take it in and shit my crappy emotions in this blog.

i want people to respect my sickness boundaries and be careful... or leave me alone completely. sounds antisocial, and frankly it is... but what should i do?

its really sad what this sickness makes out of me. but for me it feels like every day i am fighting for survival... and i am tired. i dont want to fight for every basic human right, like breathing air, anymore!!!

1678394973476.png



EDIT:
so after asking, she meant that she did indeed use only water and it didnt smell after anything when she sent it.
now the question is were did that smell come from. she sent the cloth in a vacuum bag. she said that other cloths were in that bag before... so probably the bag got the smell from the other cloth ... and then jumped onto my clean things.

Comments

Were the clothes brand new? If the clothes were brand new, could have come that way- with the smell. I empathize (current situation not withstanding)?
 
Those smells could have even come from her own washer or dryer if she normally uses fragranced laundry products. Most of them are made with silicones which coat the clothes and are very difficult to remove later on unfortunately. :(

If you cannot return the clothes you could try soaking them in a bucket of hot water and sodium percarbonate (oxygen bleach). This (below) might be that but I don't read German so don't know for sure.

You don't want sodium bi-carbonate but per-carbonate. Make sure the product is just that with no added fragrances. Also be aware it could lighten the colors a bit because it is a kind of bleach but it isn't like sodium chloride so shouldn't do so very much.

https://www.amazon.de/-/en/1008268-HEITMANN-pure-oxygen-bleach/dp/B083M2GL68/ref=sr_1_11?crid=1V749YGDVV81B&keywords=oxiclean+frei+und+klar&qid=1678416680&sprefix=oxiclean+free+and+clear,aps,175&sr=8-11&th=1 (I had to enter a post code from Germany to show options so you may need to change that.) Also maybe the chemical names are a little different in your country so I hope that is the same stuff I use here.

I gave some sodium percarbonate to my neighbor (who is sensitive) after her boyfriend (who is not sensitive) used a washing machine cleaner in their machine. She was going crazy with the smell of that. She said it was ruining all her clothes.

Well she used what I gave her and was very pleased with the results. IIRC correctly, she filled the machine with hot water and a cup of that and let it soak for a day or two.

See it works as an odor/smell neutralizer. HOWEVER, you have to make sure to get one without added fragrance.

Anyway, please research before buying.

I hope this helps. I am sensitive too so know what you are going through right now.
 
Last edited:
Those smells could have even come from her own washer or dryer if she normally uses fragranced laundry products. Most of them are made with silicones which coat the clothes and are very difficult to remove later on unfortunately. :(

If you cannot return the clothes you could try soaking them in a bucket of hot water and sodium percarbonate (oxygen bleach). This (below) might be that but I don't read German so don't know for sure.

You don't want sodium bi-carbonate but per-carbonate. Make sure the product is just that with no added fragrances. Also be aware it could lighten the colors a bit because it is a kind of bleach but it isn't like sodium chloride so shouldn't do so very much.

https://www.amazon.de/-/en/1008268-HEITMANN-pure-oxygen-bleach/dp/B083M2GL68/ref=sr_1_11?crid=1V749YGDVV81B&keywords=oxiclean+frei+und+klar&qid=1678416680&sprefix=oxiclean+free+and+clear,aps,175&sr=8-11&th=1 (I had to enter a post code from Germany to show options so you may need to change that.) Also maybe the chemical names are a little different in your country so I hope that is the same stuff I use here.

I gave some sodium percarbonate to my neighbor (who is sensitive) after her boyfriend (who is not sensitive) used a washing machine cleaner in their machine. She was going crazy with the smell of that. She said it was ruining all her clothes.

Well she used what I gave her and was very pleased with the results. IIRC correctly, she filled the machine with hot water and a cup of that and let it soak for a day or two.

See it works as an odor/smell neutralizer. HOWEVER, you have to make sure to get one without added fragrance.

Anyway, please research before buying.

I hope this helps. I am sensitive too so know what you are going through right now.
thanks will try that!
 
@linusbert

For reasons I cant begin to understand, can't make the 'quote' feature work, so back to clunky old copy-and-paste ...

"its really sad what this sickness makes out of me. but for me
it feels like every day i am fighting for survival... and i am tired.
i dont want to fight for every basic human right, like breathing

air, anymore!!!"

It's one of the sad truths of this crappy little creep-show of an illness that no one outside of other sufferers can even begin to understand what it does to us. I find that it helps to trim expectations, and just know that they'll never get it, and you'll have to fight for every square inch of habitable space.

Think of it as a sort of grim lesson in Zen. It is what it is, accept it, rail against it here with those of your tribe who understand exactly what you mean, let yourself grow and change with all this ....uh .... magnificent :meh::meh::meh: tutelage, and let it go ....

We're here for you, whenever, cause who can resist a fluffy, cuddly, totally adorable laughing seal :):):) :thumbsup::thumbsup: :hug:???
 
@linusbert

For reasons I cant begin to understand, can't make the 'quote' feature work, so back to clunky old copy-and-paste ...

"its really sad what this sickness makes out of me. but for me
it feels like every day i am fighting for survival... and i am tired.
i dont want to fight for every basic human right, like breathing

air, anymore!!!"

It's one of the sad truths of this crappy little creep-show of an illness that no one outside of other sufferers can even begin to understand what it does to us. I find that it helps to trim expectations, and just know that they'll never get it, and you'll have to fight for every square inch of habitable space.

Think of it as a sort of grim lesson in Zen. It is what it is, accept it, rail against it here with those of your tribe who understand exactly what you mean, let yourself grow and change with all this ....uh .... magnificent :meh::meh::meh: tutelage, and let it go ....

We're here for you, whenever, cause who can resist a fluffy, cuddly, totally adorable laughing seal :):):) :thumbsup::thumbsup: :hug:???

thanks for your kind words.
appreciated.

btw, seal "Fatty" has been rescued yesterday!

 
btw, seal "Fatty" has been rescued yesterday!
Oh, that's good news !!!!

Now there's two of you, wandering about, making people smile and feel better about just about everything ....

And you'll be rescued too, just hang around here with us, and cultivate the ancient ME proverb, "Fluck 'em !!!" ....
 
You said:

" i dont want to fight for every basic human right, like breathing air, anymore!!!"

I could totally relate to your exasperation and frustration. My linen closet in this apartment is STILL outgassing the laundry detergents. Six years later.

Why. Why do we insist on these chemicals, as if we are the only one's poisoned?

btw, seal "Fatty" has been rescued yesterday!

thanks for that good news....
 
Why. Why do we insist on these chemicals, as if we are the only one's poisoned?

cosmetic industry successfully brainwashed us folks to believe if the clothes and rooms and our skin do not smell after fragrance, its not clean.
people do not think that cleaning with water is enough.

i am showering only with pure water, i do not smell after anything.
at least if people do not put their nose directly on my skin. but thats the point, nature developed scent for a reason.
nobody (well most people...) wouldnt scent their cat or dogs. they just live with the smell of wet dogs in their homes, which is intense. if our dogs comes visiting me and was in the water before, my room smells after wet dog for 3 days. (after he went home on the first day).

i really like the smell and taste of a girl... but i do not mean fragrances.. i mean the natural smell. that was long before i developed this disease, never liked fragrances in parfums.
sadly modern girls are putting themselves in a cloud of stinky chemical smells...
if i look back at my dating behaviour, i always had girls who had very weak, barely noticing fragrances... and girls with those strong intense artificial smells did put me off.

of our 3 cats, one didnt smell after anything even when putting nose directly into her fur, the other 2 smelled like shit in the beginning (poor food from animal shelter)... after a few month at home and our own food, even them barely smellt at all.. and thats even due to licking themselves with their fish reeking tongues.


in , i think sweden? (one nordic country above germany), they did forbid fragrances in health institutions and clinics.
now thats a start!
 
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It's possible that someone else in the family transferred the washed clothes to the dryer and used a dryer sheet. Yes, they can really smell and the smell lingers....part of our artificial world, which our children see as normal.

I would do what Judee suggests and even see if someone could take them home and hang them outside for a few days. Often the assistants will do extra chores
for a small amount of money. It's worth a try.

Your sister sounds like a good person who tried. This is part of being ill, sad to say.

Our grandson is coming up for a visit and his birthday gifts. You won't like it, but one consists of fragrances. They do know not to overdo it and to spray very lightly. We simply have to say something to those close to us if things bother us. Happy smells! Yours, Lenora
 

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linusbert
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