Abracadabra
Seemingly out of nowhere a name popped into my head - the name of a particular person with whom I spent considerable amounts of time while he was staying here at the nursing home (back in the early days). So based upon intuition alone, I looked up his name on The World Wide Web. And guess what? He and his mugshot were Front Page News in the Valley of the Sun.
Generally speaking, that's a bad thing.
Here's a brief synopsis:
He passed out in his vehicle a few blocks from here. At an intersection, where civilian types of people tried to wake him from his untimely mid-afternoon slumber - failing miserably.
Then the cops showed up. And they noticed my passed out friend's handgun on the front seat. So as a precaution, the cops decided to block his car in, hoping to avoid a potential escape (yes, he has an impressively long rap sheet).
But, my former comrade suddenly woke up, and began violently ramming the cop cars, back-and-forth, smashing into them repeatedly before creating an opening.
News helicopters recorded the pursuit live, from one end of town to the other… maybe a couple of dozen miles.. until the police broke out their new Grappler Apparatus.
*I won't go into explicit detail, but apparently webbed woven straps shoot out from the pursuing vehicle, locking up the rear wheels by wrapping around the axle and tires.
Despite the vehicle being stopped, he wouldn't exit, so they shot him with less lethal rounds, before pulling him out of the vehicle through the driver's side window.
It's only been three months since I saw him last, but based on the mug shots, he looks much worse for the wear. And not only did they find weapons on him, they also found drugs.
So yeah, not a good day for my former acquaintance.
Early Days
When Smithy first showed up here (back in November), I thought he might be able to find his way out of the lifestyle. But as time wore on, it became apparent that he wasn't going to change. And the sad thing is that he's a brilliant guy, someone who's also extremely charismatic. He's the kind of guy you find running a successful multi-million dollar pyramid investment scheme - or he somehow makes a living selling heavily cut dime bags of heroin in and around the back alleys of Sunnyslope.
I'd imagine he's getting at least a decade in prison. He's already got warrants, anyway. And he's got children may never see again.
So it goes. Right?
Crime Spree #2
A $600 microphone went missing. Why would we have a $600 microphone here in the first place? Well, it belongs to our resident singer. And they believe our Resident Thief stole our Resident Singer's microphone. And yes, we've had police here before, in the thiefs room, doing police types of things… Mainly, investigating.
Our Resident Thief has been caught stealing several times already. And now, he lives in the room across from me.
He's a younger guy, and we actually get along. Or at least, we did. For the past six months or so, I'd been the only resident he regularly spoke to. Of course, criminal minds are attracted to me for some strange reason.
In any case, I'm hoping he spares me. And really, unless he wants medical supplies, bandages, medical tape, or 60 ml syringes, he's not going to get much of anything. I bring my valuables with me wherever I go. Except to the shower. Hmmmm…
Smoke Bust
And then our Resident Thief recently got busted for secretly smoking cigarettes. I actually overheard Social Services busting him from across the hallway. They mentioned that somebody reported him smoking in the courtyard during non-smoking hours. And the problem with that is … I am typically the only person outdoors from start to finish each and every day... which includes each and every non-smoking hour. So really, I'm hoping he doesn't suspect me of squealing on him.
Of course, in the past three days he's been staring me down, versus the typical always subtle, head nod - so it seems as though it may be on. Or perhaps he's switched teams!
Temperamental Temperament
She came waltzing out into the courtyard, aiming to get me. To retrieve me. To bring me back into the fold. But what I did not know was that she would literally "get" me. Understand me. Comprehend my words and intentions. Follow along without much difficulty or strain.
All along the return trek to my room I spouted off about this and that, seemingly unable to restrain myself. And with her pushing from behind me, I couldn't quite tell if she was grasping the content. But I somehow sensed she was. Or possibly it's that I sensed something else.
Clarity didn't come into being until after I settled back in bed. She completed a few tasks for me, and all the while her essence filled my room. Yes, her presence was full-bodied and strong, incomparably intense. Disarmingly present. Heck, she reminded me of someone I already know, someone I've already known virtually for a number of years.
Beyond that, her deep dark eyes tripped me up, mysterious to the extent that I easily became lost.
And then she threw me further off balance by making subsequent unannounced visits throughout the evening. Not only did I end up saying embarrassingly stupid things, I also wound up repeating myself, unintentionally explaining the same things I'd explained during previous visits.
Nope, that's not something I do with any frequency, much less in the same evening within a span of a few hours. Clearly, I was discombobulated. And really, let's blame her for some of this. Why? Because she spent an inordinate amount time standing there in front of me, just sort of … looking at me, feeling me out, or somehow, experiencing me.
Running out of inane things to say, I decided to turn the tables. It was her turn to speak. So I asked her if she was interested in personality typing… not only hoping to keep her busy, but also hoping she would reveal additional clues. That's when she mentioned being Phlegmatic.
"You are Sanguine!" she stated confidently.
"Ummm, really?"
"Yes, you are an entertainer, a risk taker, positive-minded…"
Hmmm. I remember reading something about these personality types sometime ago, but was at a loss for words.
A 'Google Me' Operation
In between her numerous visits, and based upon less than 30 seconds of research, I found the following at Psychologia.com:
"People with a sanguine personality type tend to be lively, optimistic, buoyant, and carefree. They love adventure and have high risk tolerance.
Sanguine people are typically poor at tolerating boredom and will seek variety and entertainment. Naturally, this trait can sometimes negatively affect their romantic and other relationships.
Because this temperament is prone to pleasure-seeking behaviors, many people with sanguine personalities are likely to struggle with addictions.
Sanguine people are very creative and can become great artists. Moreover, they are fantastic entertainers and will do well if they choose careers in the entertainment industry."
So I read this description to a few other people here, my friendly staff member friends at the nursing home, and they seem to agree with this description, stating it very much fits me. Still, I'm not quite sure. And I know this isn't really a scientific kind of thing, these kinds of temperaments.
Yet lo and behold, on the following day, my elderly friend Dora asked me about my temperament, explaining that she's Choleric (which makes a lot of sense, based on… things). Sooooo…. yeah. Not all coincidences are coincidental!
In any case, it's been awhile since I'd met someone who made me uncomfortable like that, forced me to pay rapt attention. Someone I needed (and desired) to observe intensely in order to…
Well, I still have no idea what hit me. But it seems I truly need these kinds of people in my life every so often. I need to be uncomfortable. I need to be uncomfortable in order to grow. Advance. Question values and self-assertions.
Despite this illness, does anybody else have regular access to true life experiences? In order to thrive, we need surprises (and the unexpected) in our lives. Unfortunately, there's a disproportionate amount of emptiness in illness.
Thank you for reading. I have another seven thousand words in the can, good, bad and otherwise. Hopefully I'll be able to post with greater regularity moving forward. I may be closer to resolving issues related to my recent downturn. Yay!!!
Take care,
Howard
a hot day beneath cirrostratus - cornered in the courtyard
Seemingly out of nowhere a name popped into my head - the name of a particular person with whom I spent considerable amounts of time while he was staying here at the nursing home (back in the early days). So based upon intuition alone, I looked up his name on The World Wide Web. And guess what? He and his mugshot were Front Page News in the Valley of the Sun.
Generally speaking, that's a bad thing.
Here's a brief synopsis:
He passed out in his vehicle a few blocks from here. At an intersection, where civilian types of people tried to wake him from his untimely mid-afternoon slumber - failing miserably.
Then the cops showed up. And they noticed my passed out friend's handgun on the front seat. So as a precaution, the cops decided to block his car in, hoping to avoid a potential escape (yes, he has an impressively long rap sheet).
But, my former comrade suddenly woke up, and began violently ramming the cop cars, back-and-forth, smashing into them repeatedly before creating an opening.
News helicopters recorded the pursuit live, from one end of town to the other… maybe a couple of dozen miles.. until the police broke out their new Grappler Apparatus.
*I won't go into explicit detail, but apparently webbed woven straps shoot out from the pursuing vehicle, locking up the rear wheels by wrapping around the axle and tires.
Despite the vehicle being stopped, he wouldn't exit, so they shot him with less lethal rounds, before pulling him out of the vehicle through the driver's side window.
It's only been three months since I saw him last, but based on the mug shots, he looks much worse for the wear. And not only did they find weapons on him, they also found drugs.
So yeah, not a good day for my former acquaintance.
Early Days
When Smithy first showed up here (back in November), I thought he might be able to find his way out of the lifestyle. But as time wore on, it became apparent that he wasn't going to change. And the sad thing is that he's a brilliant guy, someone who's also extremely charismatic. He's the kind of guy you find running a successful multi-million dollar pyramid investment scheme - or he somehow makes a living selling heavily cut dime bags of heroin in and around the back alleys of Sunnyslope.
I'd imagine he's getting at least a decade in prison. He's already got warrants, anyway. And he's got children may never see again.
So it goes. Right?
Crime Spree #2
A $600 microphone went missing. Why would we have a $600 microphone here in the first place? Well, it belongs to our resident singer. And they believe our Resident Thief stole our Resident Singer's microphone. And yes, we've had police here before, in the thiefs room, doing police types of things… Mainly, investigating.
Our Resident Thief has been caught stealing several times already. And now, he lives in the room across from me.
He's a younger guy, and we actually get along. Or at least, we did. For the past six months or so, I'd been the only resident he regularly spoke to. Of course, criminal minds are attracted to me for some strange reason.
In any case, I'm hoping he spares me. And really, unless he wants medical supplies, bandages, medical tape, or 60 ml syringes, he's not going to get much of anything. I bring my valuables with me wherever I go. Except to the shower. Hmmmm…
Smoke Bust
And then our Resident Thief recently got busted for secretly smoking cigarettes. I actually overheard Social Services busting him from across the hallway. They mentioned that somebody reported him smoking in the courtyard during non-smoking hours. And the problem with that is … I am typically the only person outdoors from start to finish each and every day... which includes each and every non-smoking hour. So really, I'm hoping he doesn't suspect me of squealing on him.
Of course, in the past three days he's been staring me down, versus the typical always subtle, head nod - so it seems as though it may be on. Or perhaps he's switched teams!
Temperamental Temperament
She came waltzing out into the courtyard, aiming to get me. To retrieve me. To bring me back into the fold. But what I did not know was that she would literally "get" me. Understand me. Comprehend my words and intentions. Follow along without much difficulty or strain.
All along the return trek to my room I spouted off about this and that, seemingly unable to restrain myself. And with her pushing from behind me, I couldn't quite tell if she was grasping the content. But I somehow sensed she was. Or possibly it's that I sensed something else.
Clarity didn't come into being until after I settled back in bed. She completed a few tasks for me, and all the while her essence filled my room. Yes, her presence was full-bodied and strong, incomparably intense. Disarmingly present. Heck, she reminded me of someone I already know, someone I've already known virtually for a number of years.
Beyond that, her deep dark eyes tripped me up, mysterious to the extent that I easily became lost.
And then she threw me further off balance by making subsequent unannounced visits throughout the evening. Not only did I end up saying embarrassingly stupid things, I also wound up repeating myself, unintentionally explaining the same things I'd explained during previous visits.
Nope, that's not something I do with any frequency, much less in the same evening within a span of a few hours. Clearly, I was discombobulated. And really, let's blame her for some of this. Why? Because she spent an inordinate amount time standing there in front of me, just sort of … looking at me, feeling me out, or somehow, experiencing me.
Running out of inane things to say, I decided to turn the tables. It was her turn to speak. So I asked her if she was interested in personality typing… not only hoping to keep her busy, but also hoping she would reveal additional clues. That's when she mentioned being Phlegmatic.
"You are Sanguine!" she stated confidently.
"Ummm, really?"
"Yes, you are an entertainer, a risk taker, positive-minded…"
Hmmm. I remember reading something about these personality types sometime ago, but was at a loss for words.
A 'Google Me' Operation
In between her numerous visits, and based upon less than 30 seconds of research, I found the following at Psychologia.com:
"People with a sanguine personality type tend to be lively, optimistic, buoyant, and carefree. They love adventure and have high risk tolerance.
Sanguine people are typically poor at tolerating boredom and will seek variety and entertainment. Naturally, this trait can sometimes negatively affect their romantic and other relationships.
Because this temperament is prone to pleasure-seeking behaviors, many people with sanguine personalities are likely to struggle with addictions.
Sanguine people are very creative and can become great artists. Moreover, they are fantastic entertainers and will do well if they choose careers in the entertainment industry."
So I read this description to a few other people here, my friendly staff member friends at the nursing home, and they seem to agree with this description, stating it very much fits me. Still, I'm not quite sure. And I know this isn't really a scientific kind of thing, these kinds of temperaments.
Yet lo and behold, on the following day, my elderly friend Dora asked me about my temperament, explaining that she's Choleric (which makes a lot of sense, based on… things). Sooooo…. yeah. Not all coincidences are coincidental!
In any case, it's been awhile since I'd met someone who made me uncomfortable like that, forced me to pay rapt attention. Someone I needed (and desired) to observe intensely in order to…
Well, I still have no idea what hit me. But it seems I truly need these kinds of people in my life every so often. I need to be uncomfortable. I need to be uncomfortable in order to grow. Advance. Question values and self-assertions.
Despite this illness, does anybody else have regular access to true life experiences? In order to thrive, we need surprises (and the unexpected) in our lives. Unfortunately, there's a disproportionate amount of emptiness in illness.
Thank you for reading. I have another seven thousand words in the can, good, bad and otherwise. Hopefully I'll be able to post with greater regularity moving forward. I may be closer to resolving issues related to my recent downturn. Yay!!!
Take care,
Howard
a hot day beneath cirrostratus - cornered in the courtyard
