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Coming out of the CFS closet

After living with CFS for 8 years, and suffering in silence, I started a blog to vent... I thought about a journal but I type better than I write. The words flowed and I felt better! Do I keep it private? It’s SO personal...cringe worthy writing for someone accustomed to protecting privacy and projecting strength.

I hesitate, then hit the publish button- still anonymous so ok.

Then I share it with my husband. Suddenly we’re closer than we’ve been in years. It so easily could have gone another way, with him running for the hills. I’m so thankful he didn’t run.

Then I decide to share with a few people in my circle... then a few more. I’m slowly expanding the circle of people in my life who have access to my blog. It’s been life changing- in a good way.

I’m relieved that I broke out of my self imposed ‘independent come hell or high water- don’t ask for help it weakens you’
... although my mother suggested I should’ve started a journal.

It was the best choice for my sanity... but I didn’t know it at the time.

Here’s the link if you want to read more about my personal struggle:
https://albertakat.wordpress.com/2017/10/26/first-blog-post/

PS this is what happiness looks like in my house:
View attachment 24996
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Reactions: i-lava-u, Pen2, Cheesus and 5 others

Comments

AnnaDove
Hello strong one. Do your home work on the ovarian cancer. I saw a scientific report on the 700 Club. DEC 13, 2012 He followed 12 patients who gave up all sugar. All 12 alive 2 yr later Hope you can keep at least one of your cats. They are so beautiful!
 
AlbertaKat
Hi AnnaDove. Thank you for the tip- I’ll look it up. And we’re keeping all the cats. After I shared my blog with my husband, he emphatically insists on keeping all of our bengal babies. Thank you and enjoy your evening!
 
Chocolove
Wow. Your story is so familiar it could be me. I got the high ANA after a viral infection. Rheumatologist didn't even do the 5 panels of testing before he diagnosed Lupus like syndrome and said I'd be on corticosteroids for life. That's major negligence. After many years and battles come to find out that like many people at least an estimated half, including me, have very low vitamin A - true vitamin A, not carotene which converts poorly to A. Liver is a primary food source of true A. I have experienced major improvements from massive liver consumption and my body repairs continue. There are some common nutritional deficiencies in the modern western world that make a huge impact on our health. There is real hope. Glad you are here to help figure things out. My man left and I had to give up my cats since I couldn't take care of myself then, much less them. So glad you two are making it work. Big Hugs to you.
 
Pen2
@AlbertaKat, Wow just like @chocolove, I feel like it could be me!! I miss riding so much that I want to try again when I'm having a... "better" day. I still cry when I think about my horse that I had to sell 3yrs ago. Like you, horses were my peace, my joy.

I think also some days like what's the point, I'm not needed, worthless...why live on.

Like you said, be thankful for better days, remember those that can't get out of bed.

You write well, I really just cried as I read your story because it felt like mine, like many of us.

Thank you, I will now be miserable from crying, but thank you. So nice we can all understand eachother.

Hugs,
Pen2
 

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AlbertaKat
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