Be-ing and Accepting (Quality of Life Blogs #2)

In an exp View attachment 2088 loration of be-ing it pretty quickly becomes clear that we are never alone in this worldwe are always, always in it with something. Whether its how our body feels or our thoughts about the person at the grocery store or the dishes in the sink or our general situation were always in the world with something. Were always in a dance with something.

The Right vs Wrong World - Generally we interpret what we are in a dance with by deciding if its right/wrong. If its right then were OK with it but if were in a dance with something that we interpret is wrong our minds go into overdrive - registering complaints, anger, frustration, etc. about something they believes shouldnt be. We protest, we get angry, we feel hopelesswe basically struggle like a fly on pin against this something that just shouldnt be there.but is..ME/CFS and other chronic illnesses obviously provide an enormous amount of ammunition for that.

Its an understandable reaction It is, after all, indisputably wrong to be ill and right to be healthy. Being unhealthy was not supposed to be part of the picture. But does saying so again and again help at all? Or does it tie us up into more knots of frustration and anger? And deflect us from the grace of just being? How can you just be with something that youre committed to having be wrong? You cant.

You can make the argument, on the other hand, that anything that is is perfectWhy? Because it is.. In fact according to people who have experienced it enlightenment is simply accepting that everything is just the way is and is not the way it is not.

In this scenario pain and illness are not necessarily wrongIn part each is an inevitable part of existing in a highly complex physical body in which things can and do go wrong. Being with strangely functioning body is an inherent part our experience as humans. In his experience off enlightenment Alan Watts got that the world, including the dark sides of it, was perfect just the way it was. Werner Erhard, whom I am more familiar with, built his work out of a similar experience.

"To the individual thus enlightened it appears as a vivid and overwhelming certainty that the universe, precisely as it is at this momentis so completely right....the mind is so wonder-struck at the self-evident and self-sufficient fitness of things as they are, including what would ordinarily be thought the very worst, that it cannot find any word strong enough to express the perfection and beauty of the experience"
Alan Watts​

View attachment 2089 Another Choice - That kind of experience obviously doesnt exist in a right/wrong world. We always have the opportunity to choose to interact in a different manner. What if we interact with the problems in our lives - and everybody has many of them, sick or ill - on the basis of whether we accept their presence or not? Instead of assessing whether an event is right or wrong we can, if we wish, choose to asking ourselves whether we can accept it or not? Can we allow it to-be? That orientation has the possibility of making us alright with the world just as it is -which is probably a valuable thing to do - given that the world is not likely to change itself on our account.

Included in that possibility is the possibility that we arent willing to accept or allow things to be - which is fine as well. It doesnt work to make accepting things the right thing to do. The point is see if interacting into the world in this way is helpful or not. Does it increase ones quality of life?

If you let something be it will let you be

West vs East - Particularly for those of us in the West this seems backwards. In the West acceptance has connotations of weakness. We are, after all, the doers.we dont accept things - we fix them and that way of be-ing in the world- that there is a fix for a problem - is a superlative accomplishment of the West. It is an accomplishment , though that leaves us absolutely flailing when we find something that we can't fix. We are a first world country in terms of knowing how to fix something and we are third world country in dealing effectively with things that we cannot fix.

If youre in the West and you have a medical problem that cannot be fixed - you may actually be in worse shape mentally than if youre in a poor third world country - because we have not developed have the mental tools to accept situations like that. Weve never really developed the muscle of acceptance. Doing so almost goes against our grain as human beings.

Accepting/Not Accepting in ME/CFS - Accepting does not mean throw out the fix-it ethos. Accepting ones condition does not mean one cannot take actions to change it and there are certainly actions to take - seeing Doctors, reading books and communicating with people. But while those actions have been taken (and while they are being taken) it may be that the most fruitful thing to be done with ME/CFS is to accept it..again and again and again and again.

Happiness is accepting what is
Werner Erhard

If I accept something I can be with it - which is probably a very valuable thing to do in a condition that, in part, is characterized by increased activation of the fight/flight response. This is a disorder in which getting riled up has few benefits. This is probably a very good disorder to practice acceptance in.

The Past Week - Over the past week I have engaged in the practice of accepting everything that comes into my life. I dont argue with anythingI dont rail against its appearance.I consciously accept everythingand its helped.

I walk into a store..my shoulder hurts - I accept it and move on..the organic cabbage is really expensive, I feel my system start to protestI accept that..as I walk along I think how behind I am on a paperI accept that Im behindtheres five people in line..darn.I waver..and then accept that the line is longer than I had wished I feeling fatigued--I accepted that instead of protesting it and I relaxedmy thirty year history with ME/CFS -- -Im not quite ready to accept that - so I accept that I couldnt accept that yet and move on :D

And so it goes -over and over againthe first couple of days were mostly about accepting painful or disturbing body sensations. As I went on it got a bit deeper and I starting noticing moods and thoughts. I, for instance, feel kind of amped up ..I decided to call that worry which may not be entirely accurate, but something about it was right, though, because distinguishing and accepting I was in state of worry helped some of it to fade. Being able to distinguish my mood - and name - and accept it allowed it to fade. Distinguishing is an important tool that Buddhists use as well.

We do not notice, and therefore do not take into account, what is omnipresent. And therefore, your various already-always-listenings are difficult for you to discern for yourself. They are, so to speak, hidden from you. And what you dont distinguish runs you.​


I found that when I let these things be- when I saw what they were, brought them up to consciousness and accepted themthey tended to let me be. Those things I couldnt accept -I accepted that I couldnt accept them.Things werent a bed of roses but I was more relaxed - me and the world have made a bit more peace this last week.

Interestingly as I continued to accept the bad stuff over the next couple of days.at times good things began to come into my View attachment 2090 frame.. - I accepted the beauty of a tree I had never noticed.the dark tones of my Rooibos tea and the steam swirling off it in the sunlightI accepted the beauty and richness of that.something I would not have noticed before. Acceptance was unexpectedly moving me into a deeper appreciation of the world - into just be-ing in the world.

I love the imagery of drops of water dripping into a huge underground cistern of calmness and acceptance and by practicing and practicing acceptance I can slowly fill that cistern up. If I dont practice and allow the everyday judging and rightness and wrongness will remain. But I think if I practice I can very slowly replace that one with a happier and somewhat healthier one.

Comments

Wonderful article, Cort. Thich Nhat Hanh has a meditation that deals directly with what you are talking about: acknowledgment, acceptance, disidentification, remembering your true nature. You can do it on the "cushion" or "on the spot" with anything that arises. Your article reminds me of it. It goes something like this:

Using worry as an example:

Breathing in, aware that worry is present.
Breathing out, smiling at worry.
Breathing in, aware that worry is not me.
Breathing out, aware that no self owns worry.


Repeat until the feeling is eased. A new one will certainly arise!

Eventually, one can just have awareness of the breath and abbreviate:

Aware that anger is present.
Smiling at anger.
Anger not me.
No self owns anger.


I love the idea of the cistern. The ever-filling cistern of acceptance and compassion. May it be so!
 
Thank you, Cort, for opening this discussion.

Really thoughful writing.

My attitude toward my illness has for a long time been that disease is just a part of Nature. Maybe that comes, in part, from having had a mother who was ill. And maybe it comes from getting ill so young myself that illness, in a way, seemed normal. This is not to say that I've been entirely accepting, because, actually, in my younger days, I didn't listen to my body and pushed myself to do all that healthy people were easily able to do. Not wise.
 
leela;bt4026 said:
Wonderful article, Cort. Thich Nhat Hanh has a meditation that deals directly with what you are talking about: acknowledgment, acceptance, disidentification, remembering your true nature. You can do it on the "cushion" or "on the spot" with anything that arises. Your article reminds me of it. It goes something like this:

Using worry as an example:

Breathing in, aware that worry is present.
Breathing out, smiling at worry.
Breathing in, aware that worry is not me.
Breathing out, aware that no self owns worry.


Repeat until the feeling is eased. A new one will certainly arise!

Eventually, one can just have awareness of the breath and abbreviate:

Aware that anger is present.
Smiling at anger.
Anger not me.
No self owns anger.


I love the idea of the cistern. The ever-filling cistern of acceptance and compassion. May it be so!
That's a great process Leela, I will certainly use that. I like the idea of smiling at it. Worry or anger seems so real when it happens but Hanh's practice reminds me, once again, that it is not us! We can identify ourselves with it - but it is not us - it is something, that if we look at it right, rises up and falls down.....(I am relearning my Buddhism :))

I would note that when I am worried or stressed I notice that I hold my breath! - not a good thing to do. My guess is that my system physically does not handle things like that well.

Thanks!
 
Merry;bt4030 said:
Thank you, Cort, for opening this discussion.

Really thoughful writing.

My attitude toward my illness has for a long time been that disease is just a part of Nature. Maybe that comes, in part, from having had a mother who was ill. And maybe it comes from getting ill so young myself that illness, in a way, seemed normal. This is not to say that I've been entirely accepting, because, actually, in my younger days, I didn't listen to my body and pushed myself to do all that healthy people were easily able to do. Not wise.
I got that idea from something Werner Erhard said about the 'rules of the game". If you drive in a car, for instance, there is always the possibility of getting in a car accident -that is one of the possibilities you step into when you step into a car. For every being living in very complex physical body - having some parts of that body not work properly is one of possibilities of being alive. Since all bodies fail at some point - virtually everyone at some point has to consciously deal with that aspect of life.

People with CFS and other chronic illnesses - have to deal with it alot. Sure we would rather deal with other things but if you look at it from a kind of spiritual or philosophical sense - be-ing in a body in a body that is not working well - is an inherent part of our humanity...and learning how to do that successfully is an important question for everybody....You could view it as kind of a key task in the practice of being human....

That's rather philosophical I know but it is one way to look at illness.
 
Merry;bt4030 said:
Thank you, Cort, for opening this discussion.

Really thoughful writing.

My attitude toward my illness has for a long time been that disease is just a part of Nature. Maybe that comes, in part, from having had a mother who was ill. And maybe it comes from getting ill so young myself that illness, in a way, seemed normal. This is not to say that I've been entirely accepting, because, actually, in my younger days, I didn't listen to my body and pushed myself to do all that healthy people were easily able to do. Not wise.
I got that idea from something Werner Erhard said about the 'rules of the game". If you drive in a car, for instance, there is always the possibility of getting in a car accident -that is one of the possibilities you step into when you step into a car. For every being living in very complex physical body - having some parts of that body not work properly is one of possibilities of being alive. Since all bodies fail at some point - virtually everyone at some point has to consciously deal with that aspect of life.

People with CFS and other chronic illnesses - have to deal with it alot. Sure we would rather deal with other things but if you look at it from a kind of spiritual or philosophical sense - be-ing in a body in a body that is not working well - is an inherent part of our humanity...and learning how to do that successfully is an important question for everybody....You could view it as kind of a key task in the practice of being human....

That's rather philosophical I know but it is one way to look at illness.
 
That's a great process Leela, I will certainly use that. I like the idea of smiling at it.
After reading Eat Pray Love, I started practicing sitting quietly and smiling. Ketut, the Medicine Man in Bali, suggests it to Elizabeth Gilbert, the author. And he says 'Not so easy. Is your liver smiling?'

It keeps getting easier the more I practice it. We hear about people healing disease with laughter and I wonder if this practice of smiling with our livers is healing as well. It definitely changes one's vibration.

Anyway, thanks Cort. Really enjoying this topic.
 
Acceptance is part of the grieving process. There are a number of parts. My process is that I need to forgive myself if I haven't reached acceptance....because I revisit denial, anger, fear and profound sadness. I live in a mish-mosh of the grieving process. I see others in different stages of their own processes. Not everyone can reach acceptance at the same time. We are all so very different.

I often have seen ME/CFIDS as a gift. If I didn't have this illness you and I wouldn't be interacting - albeit cyberally..... ;) I wouldn't have grown in certain ways that my athletic, type A personality would have avoided. There are remarkable people I have met because I am ill. People in my "former life" I may have avoided.

Certainly, it's not a bed of roses. It's a journey. Like a road-trip.

There will be beautiful views on the way, average views on the way, tiresome long days, sometimes eye-sores along the way.

So, thank you for this topic of acceptance. It's a good reminder for me. :)
 
Sushizim;bt4036 said:
After reading Eat Pray Love, I started practicing sitting quietly and smiling. Ketut, the Medicine Man in Bali, suggests it to Elizabeth Gilbert, the author. And he says 'Not so easy. Is your liver smiling?'

It keeps getting easier the more I practice it. We hear about people healing disease with laughter and I wonder if this practice of smiling with our livers is healing as well. It definitely changes one's vibration.

Anyway, thanks Cort. Really enjoying this topic.
Thanks.....It is all about practice....practice smiling...practice just being.....practice being happy.......practice accepting what is----these are not practices that we think of in our culture - they're not what we are taught and that may be one reason why the US, despite having the best standard of living is not a particularly happy place. We're not taught how to have a high quality of life!

In the US we practice 'working' - we're really good at working - which makes ME/CFS an even bigger problem because it often stops us being the one thing we know how to be - good workers.

Its time to learn a different kind of be-ing - to value a different kind of be-ing. Some people find that there is an opportunity to learn how to be differently in ME/CFS.....
 
Nico;bt4039 said:
Acceptance is part of the grieving process. There are a number of parts. My process is that I need to forgive myself if I haven't reached acceptance....because I revisit denial, anger, fear and profound sadness. I live in a mish-mosh of the grieving process. I see others in different stages of their own processes. Not everyone can reach acceptance at the same time. We are all so very different.

I often have seen ME/CFIDS as a gift. If I didn't have this illness you and I wouldn't be interacting - albeit cyberally..... ;) I wouldn't have grown in certain ways that my athletic, type A personality would have avoided. There are remarkable people I have met because I am ill. People in my "former life" I may have avoided.

Certainly, it's not a bed of roses. It's a journey. Like a road-trip.

There will be beautiful views on the way, average views on the way, tiresome long days, sometimes eye-sores along the way.

So, thank you for this topic of acceptance. It's a good reminder for me. :)
This is a key point. Its helpful for me to keep in mind that I am not accepting a 'situation' per se...I am accepting my interpretation of a situation - that is I am accepting my thoughts, feelings, moods about a situation. If someone says something negative to me many times what I'm trying to really accept is my reaction to what they said.

So I acknowledge and accept my anger. I see that it is a natural response - that its completely understandable - which leads me at times to get that its entirely separate from who I really am...It is not me....neither is my sadness..

If I can't accept something I accept THAT - which is another moving on...

Obviously this is a long and continual process that I am just now learning to incorporate in my life :D when it works it works very well :cool:
 
There will be beautiful views on the way, average views on the way, tiresome long days, sometimes eye-sores along the way.
It's funny how the mind rebels at the idea of having tiresome long days - it screams no! - but that is how it gets stuck with 'tiresome long days' - with the idea of the 'tiresomeness' and the 'longness' of them. It's that rebelling against those feelings that has them persists....I acknowledge this is completely opposite to how I would think it would be....but I do find that these ideas

What you resist persists
What you allow to be allows you to be


do work at times. These are nice mantras to try on every now and then...If they work - they work - if they don't, then try something else :)
 
I will never completely accept this illness. I have been sick over half of my life. I am 40 and for 22 years I have been sick. The thing that makes it so hard to accept is the isolation, the lack of understanding from others, and the day to day symptoms from the illness. I give anyone credit if they can accept that, but I am a very social creature.

Then, there is the issue of money. How can you accept an illness when sometimes you have to go without?? You can't afford things to help you get better. Medicine. There is more to this illness than just accepting the illness. Accepting not being able to work, accepting that you may live next to a person on crack if you need to go on Section 8....that's a lot of fun!

I think if I had a lot of money, could live in the right climate, had a cook, didn't have to work to pay for my "illnesses" needs, I would be able to accept it better. I know I would and most everyone here would.

I had someone with Lyme send me an email on happiness and how it is good for your bones. Happiness is good for anything. The problem is, for some who are so so sick and can't even get out, happiness is not something they can feel a lot. I have been one of those people who every moment was one filled with utter physical pain and an inability to feel any pleasure. It's not a good place to be. I don't think I will ever accept that, and I don't want to. Being tired sucks and I am tired but I give in to my fatigue. Pain on the other hand, you can't always escape. If you can't sleep, which many times I have not been able to, the pain is worse and I can't escape it.

I agree with much of what is said and much I don't agree with. It's something to think about however. As a person who has CFS, that unfortunately is not the only thing I have. I have IC, endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, and a host of other problems. It seems when one thing acts up, everything does. I can't even think during this time and then when it wears down, there is a need to sleep.

I would like to think one day that I will accept all of these maladies, but I also would like to think that at some point, I won't have to. The shot will keep helping and other things will arise.

Sorry this is so long. I am sort of rambling here.
 
The Spitfire;bt4044 said:
I will never completely accept this illness. I have been sick over half of my life. I am 40 and for 22 years I have been sick. The thing that makes it so hard to accept is the isolation, the lack of understanding from others, and the day to day symptoms from the illness. I give anyone credit if they can accept that, but I am a very social creature.

Then, there is the issue of money. How can you accept an illness when sometimes you have to go without?? You can't afford things to help you get better. Medicine. There is more to this illness than just accepting the illness. Accepting not being able to work, accepting that you may live next to a person on crack if you need to go on Section 8....that's a lot of fun!

I think if I had a lot of money, could live in the right climate, had a cook, didn't have to work to pay for my "illnesses" needs, I would be able to accept it better. I know I would and most everyone here would.

I had someone with Lyme send me an email on happiness and how it is good for your bones. Happiness is good for anything. The problem is, for some who are so so sick and can't even get out, happiness is not something they can feel a lot. I have been one of those people who every moment was one filled with utter physical pain and an inability to feel any pleasure. It's not a good place to be. I don't think I will ever accept that, and I don't want to. Being tired sucks and I am tired but I give in to my fatigue. Pain on the other hand, you can't always escape. If you can't sleep, which many times I have not been able to, the pain is worse and I can't escape it.

I agree with much of what is said and much I don't agree with. It's something to think about however. As a person who has CFS, that unfortunately is not the only thing I have. I have IC, endometriosis, Fibromyalgia, and a host of other problems. It seems when one thing acts up, everything does. I can't even think during this time and then when it wears down, there is a need to sleep.

I would like to think one day that I will accept all of these maladies, but I also would like to think that at some point, I won't have to. The shot will keep helping and other things will arise.

Sorry this is so long. I am sort of rambling here.
How can you accept an illness when sometimes you have to go without??
Using this model you would work on accepting - fully accepting - that there are times you have to go without things. Or go without opportunities to get better that other people have. Or to be more isolated than you would like. It suggests that the interpretation of a situation can make it much worse. That looking at a situation through the lens of whether it is right/wrong or good/bad can be problematic - particularly if you are in a bad situation..This is not to say that the interpretation doesn't fit! It fits the situation...like a glove - its a logical response to it....but the question is is there a better way to view it? One that removes some of the frustration, sadness, anger, etc. that is associated with it.

The isolation, lack of money, reduced living circumstances are there anyway....they are indubitably there.....The question is is there a better way to deal with them than we usually do? .....One possibility is to work on accepting them....to grant them be-ing. It's a tough roe to hoe I agree - and goes counter to how we think. We're much more likely to accept good situations and much less likely to accept hard situations. I'm sure that it would be tougher for you and for most of the people on the Forums to do this than for me because your health is worse than mine...but it is a way that provides me a bit more peace.

In the end..I think it is, as you said, something to think about...something to consider and try on ....and see if it helps. If it works fine, if not try something else out.
 
Thanks so much for this important dialogue!

Sometimes it seems that language gets in our way, especially words like acceptance and surrender. In the interest of sharing resources, here's an approach that may provide an alternate language, offered in the spirit of..."if it works fine, if not try something else out:"

www.greatfreedom.org
 
I like your post!

I'd like to share my thoughts on this as I, like everyone else here, have time to think.

Cort, what I take from this is you are exercising appreciation. The correlation (or perhaps causation) between appreciation and happiness is very very high.

I find the more I appreciate, the happier I am.

As far as acceptance, this isn't over. There are things you can change in life, things you can not change and things you cannot change. (Check this out http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-cannot-and-can-not.htm ) I using this sort of logic between can not and cannot.

I accept that I have this condition, but, I will NOT go quietly. What I mean by this is I will continue doing things until I get results. This means first and foremost learning. I saw a preview for that movie about the Gordon Gecko guy (can't remember what it's called) and a phrase used was something to the effect of "Information is the most valuable commodity". In our current condition we have a limited resource of energy and money ect. It's important to educate yourself as much as possible, loading the gun so to speak. Once the gun is loaded, fire it. If you miss, you miss. But don't stop loading up for the next shot. You can accept you have CFS, but DO NOT accept that you can't keep trying. It's a good thing Edison didn't accept that a lightbulb couldn't be made after his 800th attempt. He accepted those attempts did not work, went back, loaded his gun and fired again.

I watched a show on tv that was about how the special forces train. They talked about torture and mental methods to deal with it. CFS is a form of torture if you think about it. They talked about accepting your current situations and instead of not setting goals, setting very very small goals, sometimes focusing on the smallest of things.

I say this because we are all alive and while we are in rough shape, at least we are reading these words. The laws of physics are things you must accept as unchangable. Having CFS at this time in science and research is not.

I guess what I'm trying to say is:

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst but do not stop fighting.

This was written by a severe type A personality :thumbsup:
 
Ember;bt4048 said:
Thanks so much for this important dialogue!

Sometimes it seems that language gets in our way, especially words like acceptance and surrender. In the interest of sharing resources, here's an approach that may provide an alternate language, offered in the spirit of..."if it works fine, if not try something else out:"

www.greatfreedom.org
Thanks for the resource Ember. I like this

Short moments of clarity,
repeated many times,
become continuous!
because my moments of clarity when they come tend to be quite short....:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Cort, what I take from this is you are exercising appreciation. The correlation (or perhaps causation) between appreciation and happiness is very very high.

I find the more I appreciate, the happier I am.

...... In our current condition we have a limited resource of energy and money ect. It's important to educate yourself as much as possible, loading the gun so to speak. Once the gun is loaded, fire it. If you miss, you miss. But don't stop loading up for the next shot. You can accept you have CFS, but DO NOT accept that you can't keep trying.....

I watched a show on tv that was about how the special forces train. They talked about torture and mental methods to deal with it. CFS is a form of torture if you think about it. They talked about accepting your current situations and instead of not setting goals, setting very very small goals, sometimes focusing on the smallest of things.
I really like the special forces training because I find when I concentrate on the smallest things - that really helps. I really like that idea. That is real winner or me.

If you're running a corporation the appropriate thing to do is help build the corporation. If you are ill - the appropriate thing to do is try and get healthy......There is a subtle dynamic between acceptance and moving forward. My guess is that fully accepting a situation allows you to see it more clearly thus providing more insights on how best to move forward.
 
Lots of accepting and lots of revelations in what the "well" often cannot. We do indeed move forward - and for us just enjoy the small things that come - we have that they do not.
 
jenbooks;bt4027 said:
Thanks Cort. I was awaiting the next installment!
Me, too, Cort. Today responding is quite complex for me but your effort with this valuable topic means so very much to read and absorb. Sure, in all these years, so many efforts to treat what ails, but to acknowledge that simplicity which is running parrallel to a sometimes miserable, painful experience, that is so worthwhile . The option to connect......how important. Thanks, _SueC
 
Cort;bt4050 said:
Thanks for the resource Ember. I like this



because my moments of clarity when they come tend to be quite short....:rolleyes::rolleyes:
Yes, I found this resource really useful too...Such simplicity--perfect for the Overwhelm that we pwME can easliy feel.
Short moments of Clarity, repeated frequently--this we can do!
 
Sue C;bt4088 said:
Me, too, Cort. Today responding is quite complex for me but your effort with this valuable topic means so very much to read and absorb. Sure, in all these years, so many efforts to treat what ails, but to acknowledge that simplicity which is running parrallel to a sometimes miserable, painful experience, that is so worthwhile . The option to connect......how important. Thanks, _SueC
I do think of this kind of work as being the opportunity to 'connect' or reconnect; that is to consciously try to forge or uncover that connection to the good things in life that might be presently missing but are still there. And many of them are quite small...little things in our day to day lives that bring some brightness back into the work. These things come more normally to people who are healthy but take more cultivation - conscious and gentle cultivation - when we are ill.
 
Perhaps a simpler way of expressing this idea of acceptance is that PAIN is felt in the body, but SUFFERING comes from the mind. I can worsen my pain and my sense of illness by the thoughts I think about them. (Note: This is not about blame...)

My experience has been that although my illness-- the fatigue and pain-- has worsened lately, I actually have found myself to be HAPPIER as a person; I think because I'm not further torturing myself with thoughts of how unfair it is that I've had this illness for so many years; fear that it will never go away or keep getting worse; anger that no one understands, etc...

I love what was said about this being a PRACTICE. It truly is. I have to practice all the time, every day. And like meditation or any other spiritual practice, it is transforming me, slowly, one day at a time.

That said-- ME/CFS totally sucks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And it's what I have-- today.
Time for my nap ...

Blessings,
Emmanuelle
 
Emmanuelle;bt4099 said:
Perhaps a simpler way of expressing this idea of acceptance is that PAIN is felt in the body, but SUFFERING comes from the mind. I can worsen my pain and my sense of illness by the thoughts I think about them. (Note: This is not about blame...)

My experience has been that although my illness-- the fatigue and pain-- has worsened lately, I actually have found myself to be HAPPIER as a person; I think because I'm not further torturing myself with thoughts of how unfair it is that I've had this illness for so many years; fear that it will never go away or keep getting worse; anger that no one understands, etc...

I love what was said about this being a PRACTICE. It truly is. I have to practice all the time, every day. And like meditation or any other spiritual practice, it is transforming me, slowly, one day at a time.

That said-- ME/CFS totally sucks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And it's what I have-- today.
Time for my nap ...

Blessings,
Emmanuelle
Thanks Emmanuelle for an inspiring post. It is all about practice.....this is so different from normal everyday thinking.. Without practice it just slips away...back into what Landmark would call our default way of thinking...the way of thinking that our culture bequeathed to us....to focus on 'problems' and what's right or wrong...

I was working on this last night...a big issue for me came up and I was up until 3 am.....I worked on accepting (or 'choosing' - choosing what was coming up for me) and it was a rough road - I didn't make an whole lot of progress...the issue seemed immune to acceptance :eek: but I think I made some underground progress - started laying the foundation for it - and hopefully that will manifest itself over time.

Certainly I find that when my body and mind are riled up by ANYTHING - not necessarily anything having to do with CFS....I have more pain

Good luck with everything.
 
Such a good discussion! Thank you, Cort for such a thought provoking article -- it is gratifying to hear so many voices.
 

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