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Absolutely Bizarre / Sympathetic Vibrational Shock

If I disclose this symptomatic information to my doctor, I suspect she'll try to medicate me, as well as having me psychoanalyzed. Heck, I'm not even sure they psychoanalyze anymore. There's probably some newfangled term defining intrusive mine probing these days - a glorious task that doesn't obviously indicate potential madness within the patient.

So whatever… I know better than to disclose certain sensations or symptoms to the medical community at large. Remember, they tried to lock me in a psych ward upon arrival at the nursing home a couple of years back, insinuating that I was making up the entirety of my illness. And also, they were angry and frustrated that I wouldn't take the unnecessary meds. I was bullied, threatened and accosted by the psychiatric staff members. I'm sure some of you remember those days of desperation, heck, I sure do.

In any case, there's no reason why I need to be psychoanalyzed due to what's suddenly happening to me.

You may be wondering, what exactly is happening to me? Curious, aren't you? Well, hold on tight, I'm about to take you deep into the monochrome realm of the Twilight Zone.

Symptoms and Situations

Every time I physically touch my wife's activated muscles (example: if I touch her skin while she's flexing or activating a singular muscle or her muscle groups) I feel an intense vibration, and then eventually, a slightly uncomfortable shock, originating at my fingertips, then eventually radiating up and into my elbow, before terminating.

This sensation only occurs when a muscle group of hers is active / being utilized / flowing with energy.

If her muscles are relaxed, I feel no sensation whatsoever, besides the smoothness of her skin.

As a result of repeatedly touching her (yes, I dove into this sensation long and hard, trying to make sure whether or not it was actually happening), my right forearm and fingers are exhausted - and my elbow hurts, similar to the ever painful and disconcerting “funny bone” sensation - and that sensation lasted throughout the night. Even now, two days later, my elbow still occasionally aches.

What the hell is going on here?

As best I can explain, this sensation feels similar to having received a gentle electric shock, or possibly similar to using a TENS unit (set on "high").

Of course, I've done research on my end and have yet to find anything remotely similar… besides perhaps, some people on the autism spectrum. Being highly sensitive to physical vibrations isn't uncommon.

Of note, I do not have any other strange or abnormal symptoms occuring at this time.

Truth be told, and in almost all respects, I am a highly sensitive person (H.S.P.) who hears, smells, tastes and feels at a level above and beyond anyone I've ever met. Indeed, I was born that way, with my mind virtually incapable of blocking out external stimuli, so everything comes at me at once. Great in regards to creative pursuits and quick-witted responses, but not so great when a calming peaceful quietness is desired.

So that's where I'm at right now, nearly three days later. I’ve stopped touching her.

But how about this? Could it be her exclusively… might it only be she who generates a type of energy that causes this condition?

What I need to do now (as part of a comparison) is touch somebody else in a similar manner. The problem being, there's no one readily available.

Yes, I could have physically touched the garage door repair people yesterday, but really, how does one do so without seeming downright creepy and intrusive?

I could also roll down the boulevard and touch on some of the homeless folk lingering nearby. I'm sure they are in need of physical touch and / or affection. Perhaps it would work out better if I offered particular individuals $5 to let me physically touch their bare skin (more specifically, their activated muscles). Then again, if I'm going to be handing out money, I could instead simply roll down the boulevard a bit further and go to the local strip club… maybe they'd give me a discount, $20 per touch session. But perhaps strip clubs don't work that way. Many moons ago, and back in the olden days it was the other way around - they touch you, you don't touch them, unless you want the bouncer to bounce you out of the joint.

Eh. Another unknowable unknown with little potential for a proper diagnosis. I suspect the problem will go away on its own. Or instead, I shall go away as a result of this issue. Where would I go away to? That's for the universe to know, and me to find out.

An Open and Shut Door

As I alluded to earlier (in one of the preceding paragraphs), the garage door people finally came out and they finally did something; they repaired the garage door for $600. But here's the problem, they didn't paint the garage door. They explained to me that it would be an additional $450 to do so. And of course, that's not what they told me when they originally came out to give an estimate.

And then, here's the second problem with these garage people. I signed off on the charges, but they double charged me somehow. So now we have to deal with getting a refund.

Just after the garage door people departed, the disability person showed up - the guy who is capable of determining whether or not a stairlift can be installed, which would allow me to go upstairs and downstairs and upstairs again.

The problem being? It's a rather difficult staircase consisting of four 90° angles. And then additionally, the landing is uneven, making it an extremely difficult to transfer for the user. Of course, I am the user. The potential user. And as it turns out, everything is difficult, so I am not surprised.

At this juncture, the disability guy isn't sure this type of stair lifting operation will work within these confines, so I've got to wait additional weeks for an architectural engineer to show up and properly assess the options.

Either way, I'm going to be locked in upstairs for a period of time lasting at least two months, and perhaps indefinitely (if they can't figure out how to work around).

Ramping Up

He also mentioned that placing a ramp leading to the outdoor balcony may not work either. Not enough space. Tough angles. But I've got the wheelchair woman coming next week to make a proper assessment on that issue.

The woman coming out next week is the same woman who originally fitted me for my power wheelchair two years ago. She also visited an additional time in order to make adjustments to the wheelchair after it came off the assembly line.

Back then, I really appreciated her efforts. Not only did she fast track the production of my chair, but she was also extremely personable. As a matter of fact, she physically touched me all over the place while making adjustments to my chair.

No, I hope that doesn't sound creepy, but I really enjoy being the recipient of physical touch, something that's been lacking in my life ever since I became ill. That specific kind of physical sensation makes me feel normal, and wanted (simple incidental contact). And she most assuredly went out of her way to make me feel wanted, which I truly appreciated.

That's one of the things I miss most since leaving the nursing home six months ago. Physical engagement. Emotional engagement. Conversational engagement.

The wife pays attention to me for an hour or two every evening, but I guess sometimes I feel as though I need more than that in my daily life. For some reason I crave novelty, a variety of interactions, the element of surprise, an audience to entertain…

Bottom Lines

Craving causes suffering. Craving results in suffering?

Well, take your pick. But it's true. Both of those. And when I'm craving something, or craving actual life experiences, I am often missing whatever it is that's immediately in front of me. So let that be a lesson to me!


Looks like I've surpassed the 1200 word mark already, so I'll stop writing / dictating into the phone / sharing my super groovy life experiences.


Take care,
Howard






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Comments

I found your experience of picking up on the sensations from your wife...I do not find that to be terribly shocking.

I can understand its strange. I've had too many experiences with sort of the energetic, electro-magnetic side of all this, to dismiss your experience.

But yes, don't mention that to any of those doctors or folks who make notes in charts.

In a way, you're in a sensory deprivation situation, a form of it, and that could lead to being more readily able to pick up on these sensations.

Wife = TENS unit, could prove handy!

I had an idea, if you wanted to blow a little cash, those thirty minute foot massage places- you could get yourself some nice foot and leg massages, and also see if you pick up on this energy from the massage folks.

I"m reliving the last time I got one of those massages. It was an extremely funny experience, that I will refrain from sharing here. But my best friend and I ...well we saw the back room and decided that maybe the massage folks are somehow captives, and maybe they do not go home, at the end of a hard day of foot massage.

The physical touch issue: we are monkeys......and monkeys love to hang out and touch each other. Humans now are very deprived of this basic aspect of being alive.

I think its really understandable to miss that.
 
I found your experience of picking up on the sensations from your wife...I do not find that to be terribly shocking.
I don't find it too strange either Howard. Our central nervous systems can be highly sensitive and reactive with this illness. I've had some bizarre sensations from different stimuli over the years. Some people can feel sensations of someone just entering the room and it is too overwhelming for them. I couldn't lay in bed with another person without feeling uncomfortable sensations and that was without physical contact.

Re: No physical contact. During the pandemic I wanted to hug my Daughter so bad when she came to visit that it was almost physically painful for me not to be able to do so. I started to feel a physical pressure building up inside. We both wanted to hug so bad but her husband had a fit and put his foot down about it. I was having a really weird sensation not being able to touch her so I got my walking stick and held it on one end and she held the other end and I immediately felt relief from the painful feeling. So many invisible connections that we can't see.

On a completely different note, what the heck is that contraption in the picture?
 
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I had an idea, if you wanted to blow a little cash, those thirty minute foot massage places- you could get yourself some nice foot and leg massages, and also see if you pick up on this energy from the massage folks.

It's funny you should mention that, because my caregiver has been washing my feet of late, while also applying some type of lotion afterwards. Up until recently, my feet had been highly sensitive to touch, and generally, sore all over. But now? Her physically rubbing and applying pressure to my feet is most pleasantly satisfying... it's like a release of sorts.


The physical touch issue: we are monkeys......and monkeys love to hang out and touch each other. Humans now are very deprived of this basic aspect of being alive.

As a small child (and up until recently), I wouldn't let anybody touch me or hold me - made me feel confined and restricted ... and just painfully uncomfortable overall. Now it's the opposite. Go figure!
 
Some people can feel sensations of someone just entering the room and it is too overwhelming for them.

Right. When someone is not in the right headspace I feel the same way ---- after initially trying to support and comfort them, or even inquire about their difficulties, I have a strong and necessary urge to get away from them.

On a completely different note, what the heck is that contraption in the picture?

I'm assuming that's the water mains for the Arizona Bureau of Land Management. Someday (maybe) I'll work there. I like land. And I especially like maps. Plus, it's only a block away. Easy commute.
 
And I especially like maps.
I love maps. I had a huge collection of them. I stare at maps. I hiked, with maps.

I still look at maps, sometimes .

I even ordered special maps before I moved to this new place.

I've not taken them out of the map tube. It's sort of symbolic, those maps. It's the idea of it.

A shrink would have a field day with me here lately.

I actually spent 12$. I saw this book, I used it, 45 years ago. I just want it. So I plunked down 12$ but have yet to get it sent here. So its at my friends house collecting dust.

As if I will someday collect aquatic insects and identify them, yet again.

Please send shrink here, soon! :whistle:
 
I actually spent 12$. I saw this book, I used it, 45 years ago. I just want it. So I plunked down 12$ but have yet to get it sent here. So its at my friends house collecting dust.

I understand this mentality. Part of me still wants to purchase memories (in the sense that you mention), or outmoded music gear, books I already own - basically all sorts of valueless unnecessary items. Fortunately, recent living situations, merely struggling to survive, and financial scenarios (no money / income for over a decade) have taken me out of that habit of wanting particular things, especially items found in thrift stores on the cheap.

As a matter of fact, my personal possessions immediately and permanently went into storage after moving in with my wife - so I've been living "without" for a decade and a half, and still, I seem to be getting along. Somehow in life's process I've learned how to live without "things" - :)
 
Somehow in life's process I've learned how to live without "things" - :)
I understand....I did not replace most of my life after it all came down. I felt I did not need to, nor was it OK to do so.

However, somebody gave me their watercolor Art Supplies: the idea being I still can draw and paint (only that proved to be not really true); I was also given a donation of botany books. Books that cost alot of money. I put them in a cabinet, behind the sofa- hard to reach.

But I wanted to let everyone know here, that VIGGO MORGENSTERN has written and directed a new film, a WESTERN. It looks absolutely fabulous.

All of us should go to the Movies..... (frankly, I think I enjoy bad guys getting their just desserts...) (often featured, in westerns) (plus scenery- love scenery)

 
or outmoded music gear, books I already own
I still need to replace the amp for the fender stratacaster which was evacuated, and my husband yelled at me about the amplifier as I was putting it in the car for evacuation purposes. So it got put back in the shed. The shed later evaporated.

Yet I can never play that electric guitar, what with no padding left on my fingertips. Steel strings and all.

I want to get 5-10 record albums. Really old ones, that would be at yard sales. Only there are no yard sales, here. And I can play the old song, on You Tube. But still, I'd like to have the album, to hold.
 
Rufous made me think of this because right after you posted this she liked an old post of mine where I talked about bamboo conducting electricity. Do you or your wife wear bamboo fabrics? Anyway, just a thought.

I hope you're in the a/c now. This week is just starting to turn hot here so I imagine there too.
 
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Do you or your wife wear bamboo fabrics?

nope - no bamboo
problem less intense now
just tingling and occasional and fleeting limb(s) numbness

I hope you're in the a/c now. This week is just starting to turn hot here so I imagine there too.

actually it's cooling off here slightly
yes, I'm air-conditioned and stuck in bed now
guess I'll have more time to write now :)
 

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