(I am almost afraid to unleash this, but - )
So here's where we're at...
Nurse Felicia was doing her thing last night (mind you, she's actively engaged in six overnight shifts per week). With her, I am regularly formula fed, and she as well can procure supplies from the supply room (when available).
Anyway, I mentioned to her that people want to get me, and give me… things. So I asked her point blank, what "things" could I possibly need?
As each of you know, my phone and tablet seem to be enough. And really, those are the only two things I had when I used to live in a home environment (besides my cat… which isn't an option in the here and now).
So, after near-silent moments ticking away, Nurse Felicia suddenly became brilliant, awashed in luminous light.
"Why don't you ask people to send you pictures, or posters? This room is depressingly barren."
So it is. So it is. Besides the main wall being riddled with bullet holes, the crooked clock, and the splotchy paint/cover up job, there's little to see. In fact, there's no real reason for anyone to keep his or her eyes open.
So what do you think? Decorate my room… adorn my walls.. cheaply?
If this does not sound like an altogether outlandish idea, why not send me something cheap and easy to hang (or adhere) with masking tape, duct tape, or even rogue thumbtacks? A found item in your closet. An old ripped poster that's lost all meaning. A rough sketch of the Juniper tree in your yard. An inspirational saying. Torn pages out of a magazine.
But here's the thing. In doing so, DO NOT invest more than $5 (that'll likely cover postage, I suspect and hope… ). I'm certain each of us is on a budget, if not penniless.
Dispatching something that's meaningless and valueless is just fine. Really, it is. Why? Besides the obvious reasons, I may be here for an extended period of time. It could be several years running, or it could be months and months less than that (before I fly the coop in some manner).
And truthfully, stuff goes missing here (I sleep with everything important next to me on the mattress or underneath my pillow). So if it's an object affixed to the forward wall, I won't be able to offer protection. That's where the valueless aspect comes into play. Even now, I've worn the same pair of shorts outdoors each of the past 14 days. Nope, I'm NOT losing this pair.
If you choose to participate, I'll offer up the mailing address with a PM request sent. Though with many of you, I already know your names, feel free to use Phoenix Rising aliases! That way, we can bask in the aura of mystery. Or invent a new alias. Riddle me that.
Again, NO OBLIGATION (and really, this could be a particularly stupid assignment .. but I'm forever quite unsure in many regards).
Additionally, many here (staff and residents included) offer to buy me whatever it is that I need or require. But really, THIS is the sort of thing that would help me feel connected. Otherwise, my needs are otherwise being met.
Rest Not Assured
Got my 4 hours of sleep in. Not enough. Never enough. But you play the hand that's dealt. And for me this morning, it was my right hand, the one that blood gave < 421am > And this was NOT a thing, because I was already long awake. My roommate was being attended to earlier. Lights on. Voices talking.
Even so (in a manner exuding high politeness), Jeff tried hushing the staff.
"It's okay, he's wearing headphones," says the inconsiderate somebody.
I was. And still am (..wearing EAR MUFFS). But her words at that volume cannot be entirely muted. Nobody's can.
So I gave seven vials, seven fresh warm offerings to the Lords of Future Recovering. Or the Diagnosticians of Blood Science. Personally, I do not care which. Just please, fix me! Haha.
May the results prove worthy.
Heart Rate Gate
Finally yesterday my heart rate dropped back into the normal range, clocking in at 78bpm's. I'd been averaging in the high 90's range and upwards (past four days), but I felt the sudden shift as I lay outdoors. Literally, within my abdominal cavity there existed prominent movement, gurgling, and a host of odd shifting sensations, each notable in its rarity.
I'm hoping the decreased blood pumping will afford greater physical (muscle) energy. Yes. A lot of this illness is "hope" focused and aligned. I mean, what else is there?
Okay, and yes. Acceptance. Surrender. But sometimes hope is a necessary thing.
Now at long last flatbellied, I may effectively contend with the Angry Return of the Bedsore! Yeah.
Nurse Felicia is going to do what she can to get me a softer mattress. This one's hard as a concrete slab.
Hmmm… Almost time for VITALS! Hooray for Us! Let Vitality Reign!
Okay then, I have this whole other entire entry (entrée) that I was going to present, but it's ever-developing, so let's wait and see, shall we?
Have a joyous day,