by this, I mean, I keep having bad memories/knowledge etc kind of "brought to the surface of my attention/mind" far far more often than they should. It's very odd and unpleasant. I've had an "interesting" life in the "Chinese Curse" kind of way, lol, but dealt with that, the "monsters got put away in their cages, the woes in their boxes and filled away", sometimes brought out, dealt with and put back, but didn't bother me that much. Know what I mean? I'd long before used philosophy, confronting such things etc and had got over 'em, and just thought I'd left 'em in the past... and then ME/CFS came along and when it got worse, it's like the "cages and boxes of the mind that contain such crap" get opened up again...blech!! hard to explain, but couple of other people in chat noted same. Now I rather obviously loathe *he says like Austin Powers* the damn "Weasel type psychs" so I sure as hell reject a psychological basis for ME, which is a patently absurd concept at best But, it is neurological and the distress of it all does have psychological effects after you get ME 'cause it's a bloody horrible illness. So what is triggering this resurgance of the sh*t in life, from time spast, that one had buried, to come back up into the light and get ya down? Psychological, neurological? Both? I feel neurological due to stuff I can't quite easily explain, including way my memory is being "swiss cheesed". I am or at least used to be, capable of dealing with mental issues/crap in life as said above And other symptoms of more obviously bodily nature (weird nerve pain for example) make me feel it's more organic than psychological, but can accept psychological is a possibility too I've been unable for years to do the things that truly relax me/give spiritual lift etc, for example, which doesn't bloody help. The "brain fog/internal balaclava" lifted for me years ago, few years after I went from "Light" to Moderate" severity, instead it became persistant and damn annoying headaches, and irritability and these issues of bad memeories etc became a feature. I can't say for sure it started at same time though, my symptoms have slowly changed over years and hard to pin down time and dates etc, certainly not exact dates! Could this change from "brain fog" to "headache" be a factor? Could it also be side effects of the testosterone injections?