Why are women with brain tumours being dismissed as attention-seekers?

[Crux]

When my sister was having heart palpitations, etc., it was attributed to anxiety, so, xanax was prescribed.

We both had a history of palps. etc. We also had a brother who died suddenly. (v. fib.)

My sister and I had discussions about the 'possibility' that the heart symptoms were causing the anxiety,not the other way around.

Yeah, a stretch.

Well, she also died suddenly. (v. fib.)

Not to completely blame the docs., even the autopsies were inconclusive, with no known etiology.

 

[Mij]

This reminds me of my neighbour from many years ago who complained of headaches and tightness around her head for almost a year. She finally suffered a seizure at home and was taken to the hospital with her hand still gripped to her coffee pot. Yeah, what a show off

 

[roller]

as bad as it is, perhaps women are more often attention seekers than men.

just think of munchhausen mothers (inflicting harm to their child, in order to have attention).

?

 

[lansbergen]

as bad as it is, perhaps women are more often attention seekers than men.

just think of munchhausen mothers (inflicting harm to their child, in order to have attention).

?

 

[Cheshire]

as bad as it is, perhaps women are more often attention seekers than men.

just think of munchhausen mothers (inflicting harm to their child, in order to have attention).

?

As bad as it is, yes.

Munchausen by proxy is an extremely rare disorder, do you think this type of psychology can be extrapolated to all women? Rapists are mostly men, do you also think that says something about all men's psychology?

 

[mermaid]

Because men stick to facts and reach logical interpretations while women communicate... through a series of high pitched whining sounds that rarely form coherent words so much as emotive suggestions reminiscent of mermaid song?

Er....mermaid song anyone??

About 20 years ago I began to suffer from prolonged fatigue. I hadn't heard of ME at that time, so that would never have occurred to me. For me it was like extended Pre Menstrual Syndrome, as I already had a week of that and feeling wiped out, but it was now extending to 2 weeks or more of my cycle.

On the suggestion of a friend, I went to my GP (a woman actually) and described what the problem was and asked if it was possible that I had an underactive thyroid, and could she please do a test for me? Oh NO she said, it couldn't possibly be that, and refused the test.

Luckily I was stroppy enough to change my GP, and saw GP no.2 (a man actually) and described again the symptoms and asked for the test. Oh yes, he said, we will do a range of tests for you. And guess what? Yes, I had borderline hypothyroidism, and was soon feeling much better on Thyroxine (that wasn't to last, but that's another story......).

Now I would like to have had a neat little story for you of how a man Dr decided I was 'just' pre menstrual and patted me on my pretty little head and left me to whine my mermaid song but hey, maybe female Drs being the professionals they are in a man's world do not like to encourage women's problems either.

Also of note is that I lived on a council housing estate and my GP was situated in the poorest area of that so maybe that also affected her judgement. My new GP was situated in the centre of the town and would have drawn from many areas. I certainly had an experience of another GP in the first practice (also a woman) who treated me very patronisingly when my son had tics, and told me he would 'grow out of them' when he had in fact been diagnosed by a paediatrician with Tourette Syndrome.

 

[eafw]

 

[L'engle]

Well, she also died suddenly. (v. fib.)

She finally suffered a seizure at home and was taken to the hospital with her hand still gripped to her coffee pot. Yeah, what a show off

Horrible. So sorry to hear both these examples.

 

[L'engle]

as bad as it is, perhaps women are more often attention seekers than men.

You seem to have missed the point that the women in question are actually suffering from serious conditions, after being called mere attention seekers, and that this is a systemic problem.

 

[Gingergrrl]

We both had a history of palps. etc. We also had a brother who died suddenly. (v. fib.)

Well, she also died suddenly. (v. fib.)

@Crux How horribly sad, and I am so sorry for the loss of both of your siblings to v.fib. When you see a doctor now for palps, I hope that is the very first thing you convey (strong family history of sudden death from v.fib) and if that doc doesn't take you seriously and order some proper testing, I would move on immediately to the next doc.

 

[Gingergrrl]

as bad as it is, perhaps women are more often attention seekers than men.

just think of munchhausen mothers (inflicting harm to their child, in order to have attention).

?

Is this a joke or a serious comment? Prior to my illness I worked for 16 yrs as a psychiatric/mental health social worker and Munchausen's itself and Munchausen's by Proxy are so exceedingly rare, you could have an entire career and never come across a true case of either. They do exist, but they are extremely rare. Also, when it is said "by Proxy" it is not only the mother who could have a motivator to make their child sick and fathers can engage in this behavior as well.

 

[adreno]

Also, it could be argued that it is irrelevant whether one gender is more "attention-seeking" or not; a good doctor should be able to diagnose whether people are really sick. Sadly, doctors are often not able to.

 

[jimells]

Also, it could be argued that it is irrelevant whether one gender is more "attention-seeking" or not; a good doctor should be able to diagnose whether people are really sick. Sadly, doctors are often not able to.

I'm definitely not a woman, but my medical record is also full of "exaggerates symptoms", "seeking attention", etc.

If a doctor isn't sure if a patient is really sick, they could withhold judgement until they obtain further evidence. But that would take longer and interfere with their "production quota".

 

[Woolie]

as bad as it is, perhaps women are more often attention seekers than men.

just think of munchhausen mothers (inflicting harm to their child, in order to have attention).

?

Munchausen's by proxy is an issue we all might be interested in, as the diagnosis can be misused in cases of unexplained illness. There are a couple of prominent court cases where mothers were convicted of murdering their babies based almost entirely on this diagnosis, and were later overturned on the basis of lack of evidence.

The diagnosis bears some similarities to somatic symptom disorder in that the primary symptom is the presenting medical complaints of the "victim", and a lack of alternative explanations for them (sound familiar?). Pretty much nothing else is needed.

Like somatic symptom disorder, it is unclear whether this "disorder" exists at all. The problem is that there's not much positive evidence to support it, just an absence of alternative explanations. Its kind of a 20th century psychological construction (attention-seeking may well exist, but such extreme forms may be rarer than, say, serial killers).

@roller, you should also be aware that this diagnosis has been used to justify removing minors with MECFS from their parents and insitutionalising them. The reasoning is that, since there's nothing wrong with the child that can be measured, and the parents keep seeking medical advice, that they are deliberately constructing the child's illness to gain attention.

Okay, I'm just an irrational, emotional, attention-seeking female, but that's my take on it.

Now that's enough, @roller, @panckage, let's have no more of these silly ill-thought-out statements about differences between men women. If you can't think it through and come up with something intelligent to say, please refrain from sharing (feel free to say silly ill-thought-out things in all other contexts, we're fine with that, just not when it involves to stereotyping or denigrating particular groups of people).

 

[adreno]

I'm definitely not a woman, but my medical record is also full of "exaggerates symptoms", "seeking attention", etc.

Not sure if it's in my records, but I am certainly treated that way, too.

 

[alex3619]

just think of munchhausen mothers (inflicting harm to their child, in order to have attention).

?

Munchausen by proxy? The thoroughly discredited diagnosis that is a disgrace to psychiatry? Not a good example. Its still diagnosed largely because too many refuse to learn better. Some parents do harm their children, but a discrete diagnosis with presumptions about why this happens is unsubstantiated.

Let me flip the gender bias comments around. Men tend to be stoic and not complain about things they should be doing something about. Machismo means men with this trait tend to be less likely to seek support. Stereotypes work both ways, and are just as often wrong for men as well as women.

One comment I want to make, that seems to be missing, is that by dismissing women with many conditions, including ME, men miss out on the research that better interest would generate. Everyone loses to some extent. Bias hurts the entire community.

 

[adreno]

Like somatic symptom disorder, it is clear that this "disorder" doesn't exist at all.

I helped you a little bit there

 

[Crux]

Thanks @Gingergrrl ,

I must admit that the docs have either dismissed or passed over this information.

Here's a morbidly funny incident, though ; after my sister's death, a cardiologist friend of my father told him that there was no correlation between my siblings' deaths, as well as risk for me. ( I had a long history of passing out, like my brother.)

Some few months later, the cardiologist was in bed with the flu. My father told me, ( as told to him), that the cardiologist suddenly raised his arm, then died. ( he had a history of a. fib.)

I don't understand why these docs think we are vying for attention by going to hospitals, etc. I Dread going to those appointments.

There are much easier ways of getting attention. I'd rather not.

 

[Woolie]

Let me flip the gender bias comments around. Men tend to be stoic and not complain about things they should be doing something about. Machismo means men with this trait tend to be less likely to seek support. Stereotypes work both ways, and are just as often wrong for men as well as women.

Yea, I can see that men get a rough deal too sometimes. It seems to me, men are especially heavily judged by their career achievements (by both genders). I wonder if that adds an extra stress to having a chronic illness like ME, one that so severely affects work capacity.

@alex3619, would you say its generally harder for a man to seek help with mental health issues? Perhaps less acceptable to admit to them, seen more as a weakness?

 

[jimells]

I don't understand why these docs think we are vying for attention by going to hospitals, etc.

Maybe because they are so impressed with themselves that they assume the rest of us are equally impressed.