So I talked about this before. It is a definite truth that I can not get any improvement in my disease, it seems that there is only a "shift". I started with a treatment protocol that included methyl b12, folic acid, lots of vitamin d3, and low dose amitriptyline. This protocol left me super brainfogged to the point I could barely have conversations with people. However, I could actually run around and stuff. Whenever I had post exertional malaise, the chief way the malaise would manifest would be an intensification of the brain fog. Fast forward a bit, I get sick of the brain fog and switch to hydroxy b12 and not much else. Slowly my brain fog starts going away. "Great!" I think. WRONG. Slowly, I have lost the ability to not crash from doing physical things. I hadn't realized it until a few months ago. Now I cannot do anything physical anymore, I cannot hike, I cannot golf, I cannot walk miles per day and not expect to feel worse. I have different symptoms like muscle weakness, feeling out of breath. HOWEVER, my brain fog is mostly gone! WHAT THE HECK? Seriously, I had a christmas party with my family last night, and it was the most enjoyable social event I have been to in 2 years. Why? Because my brain fog is almost completely gone and I can joke and stuff. However, this socializing left me feeling very exhausted and I had to sleep 12 hours last night and still felt tired from it. So what gives? Why am on stuck on this symptom spectrum? I think my experience can give a real insight to the nature of the disease. What comes to mind to me is that it is probably an infection of the brain. When my body shifts to clear headed, it means my body is running more on sympathetic nervous system, which is bad because it exhausts my body, but at least it helps clear out the fog in my brain. When my body is not clear headed, it means that the body is more shifted to a different immune state which leaves my body to not fight the brain infection. Its almost a battle of the lesser of the two evils. It is tough. I feel when my brain is clear i can be spiritual again, I can feel the feeling of love. I can think to the future, the past, and enjoy the present more. But, there is also the fact that my body is more easier to fall on a slippy slope to getting worse when I am in this state, as I think this state is what people with true ME are in 100% shifted to. It almost would seem to me as though autism and ME are the same illness, just reacted to by the body and immune system differently?