what i've thought about lately is to try to tell myself "it's not that they dont' care, it's that they are in denial." i still get angry, but it hurts a little less that way. ugh, the phone - i just refuse to be on it now. if you can't sit still & talk to me then dont' freakin bother, i dont' want to listen to you check your email or go thru the checkout line at the grocery store. so i just dont' anymore, i just tell people i dont' talk calls without an appt. i understand about the people who are a little bit more than superficial. i can't stand that crap either, those "everything is fine" sorts who won't believe you might actually have problems. the one really good friend i am close to now works in a nursing home, & has for many years. she knows a thing or two about illness & she understands.