I had put it out there that I was thinking of moving or trying to relocate due to an awful lot that has happened in this apartment. Well, now I am in standstill mode. The cost to rent is outrageous here right now. People are losing their homes and renting, so it's a landlords' market. For a good apartment in a nice area where it's not so...trashy, it's about $1,300 and that doesn't include much. For that, you can't even get a washer and dryer in your building. I have now thought of buying a condo. If I am going to spend that much to move, I want to own. I have some savings to do so, but it's a little bit harder, as many on here know. I need some serious advice and have no idea where to turn. Real estate agents just want to sell. I need a mentor or financial advisor. I am not asking for that on here, I just know that that is what I need. These decisions and thoughts are crippling me. I don't want to make a mistake, so I feel like my illness is in full bloom from thinking, fear and exhaustion. When you buy anything, you are taking a risk. When you rent, and your rent is over $1,000...you are throwing money out the window. Money I could use one day. My fear is that that money that I would take and buy something with could evaporate and what if I needed to sell? Condos are not as wanted as houses. And some condos don't allow you to rent your place out. So, I could be stuck. It's all such a huge risk. I could never own a home. For one person? A person who has no desire to weed, or do much to a garden. And what if the roof goes or a tree falls on top of my house? GREAT. I now, on top of everything else, have roaches in my apartment. They came and sprayed today. My rent is too high for all that is wrong. I am so tired from this and so worried. I miss my sister, who is deceased and my dad, who could have helped me. I have no one in my family to ask. So many have that. People will say to me, "don't you have a father or brother or someone who can help you with this? " NO. I don't. I have been crying a lot. My mom is completely too unwell to hear this and she is overwhelmed by it, understandably. I cried to her today and said, "I want a house, with a lawn and a barbeque. I want what others have. I don't want to live in a box where I have no real access to lounging outdoors." I felt bad that I did that to her. It made her sad. I have no rush to get out of this apartment. My lease isn't up until December or actually January 1st. But, I don't like the feeling that I really can't make a decision. And sometimes, the more I talk about it with someone, the more overwhelmed I am....and I shut down. It's awful.