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The sexist reality of being a woman with ME

Paralee

Senior Member
Messages
571
Location
USA
Just being with a dr. at an appt. is biased. I've seen the way dr.'s talk to my husband versus the way they talk to me. And I don't think it's just the male dr.'s either. I don't know, maybe it's the white coat?

I ask my husband to go with me sometimes just so he can see and it's really opened his eyes. At least he could tell the difference. I think at one appt. a second dr. was called in when they saw my husband getting ready to come in the room with me........just assumption on my part, but it didn't do any good on their side, he saw what actually happens even more.
 

Cheesus

Senior Member
Messages
1,292
Location
UK
@Cheesus

I don't think anybody's suggesting that men have an easier time than women with ME and Dr's

I deleted my comment before you replied.

However I think they kind of are making that argument. The title itself inherently suggests that there is a distinction between being a woman with ME and being a man with ME, and that when you are a woman with ME you are the victim of sexism.

EDIT: Although admittedly the article itself does not go into that in any great detail. I don't think it is a very good title.
 

SilverbladeTE

Senior Member
Messages
3,043
Location
Somewhere near Glasgow, Scotland
it's almost NEVER to do with sex, or race/colour or creed
it's about bullying due to arrogance and stupidity

women and minorities are seen as "weak",
why bother with work just fob them off?
if they bother you beat them,
if they have something you want, take it....


The person's sex isn't the issue, they simply aren't scared of the person fighting back

So, scumbags and way society has been warped for centuries by psychopaths who are mostly male (do NOT blame us males, it's due to genetics, not our fault), and thus push society towards war, greed, selfishness hate because that mirrors THEIR outlook.

wanna deal with a bully? KICK THEIR BALLS IN or scare the hell out of them
with a lot of these doctors and others in society, if people are healthy and thus able to mentally spar, you can beat them down with force of personality
course we're usually to wiped out to be able to do that

I saw how the bastards treated my Mum, a highly skilled nurse, disabled due to injury trying to save a patient form an accident
as she got older the scum treated her more and more in ways to fob her off or ignore her.
I was too sick to help which was extremely upsetting.

people can bleat but this is the *truth* about how we Humans really ARE in groups, they almost always get warped by such crap
:/
 

eljefe19

Senior Member
Messages
483
lol I'm a male and I was treated absolutely horribly by a few different doctors.

I'm sorry but whoever said blanketedly that men are receiving only top notch care, compared to women, in my case was simply not true. I've never seen any sexism around this disease. I think this whole thing is a distraction.
 

alex3619

Senior Member
Messages
13,810
Location
Logan, Queensland, Australia
I'm sorry but whoever said blanketedly that men are receiving only top notch care, compared to women, in my case was simply not true.
That was a sarcastic comment. I don't think it was implied that men receive better care, at least for ME. It is the case, from what I have personally seen, that women are treated worse. However you just have to mention CFS or ME to some of these people and you can see a palpable shift in attitude. When that happens I do not think it matters much if you are male or female.

I have heard my share of stories from female patients with ME or related diseases, and some in real life and not on the web. There is something undeservedly patriarchal and patronizing going on a lot of the time.
 

Kalliope

Senior Member
Messages
367
Location
Norway
lol I'm a male and I was treated absolutely horribly by a few different doctors.

I'm sorry but whoever said blanketedly that men are receiving only top notch care, compared to women, in my case was simply not true. I've never seen any sexism around this disease. I think this whole thing is a distraction.
No one has ever claimed that male ME-patients are receiving top notch care.
Rather that the dismissive attitude towards a disease striking mostly women also rubs off on male patients.

Please don't close down when people are raising sexism as an issue. Being able to recognise suppression even when it doesn't strike _you_ - I know it is hard, but isn't that what we as a patient community ask of others?
 
Messages
2,391
Location
UK
lol I'm a male and I was treated absolutely horribly by a few different doctors.

I'm sorry but whoever said blanketedly that men are receiving only top notch care, compared to women, in my case was simply not true. I've never seen any sexism around this disease. I think this whole thing is a distraction.
I think it was meant as a tongue-in-cheek comment.
 

Murph

:)
Messages
1,799
1. Sexism is real. Problems faced by women get less attention. Problems faced mostly by women also get less attention.
2. One of the reasons ME is understudied is that women mostly get it. It's easy for doctors (most of whom are male) to not be too fascinated by it.
3. If ME was a majority male disease, I suspect doctors would have gravitated towards trying to solve it earlier.
4. Gender roles are a big problem in society - encouraging treat men and women to act in certain ways they struggle to live up to (women: quiet, beautiful; men: tough, never speaking of feelings, etc). I think fighting outdated attitudes is good for men and women. Similarly, getting funding for majority female diseases helps the male sufferers.
5. However. Many men get defensive and shitty when feminism is mentioned. I'm not 100% convinced that the very true fact that this problem can be seen a feminist issue is an effective way to encourage funding and improve treatment. I'm comfortable with its factualness and I don't object to the narrative getting out there. Jen Brea's talk was good and this story is good too. But I'd be hesitant to make it the sole rallying cry of ME/CFS. (Noting that we are well short fo that point). I think dominant western culture probably values a "scientists using technology to crack a code" narrative above a "justice for half the population" narrative.
6. Especially in the Trump era.
 
Last edited:
Messages
2,391
Location
UK
If ME was a majority male disease, I suspect doctors would have gravitated towards trying to solve it earlier.
Maybe, but I am not really sure. I suspect the most potent motivation for cr*p research was the DWP's disinclination to pay social benefits to ME sufferers wherever possible. On that basis I doubt a different gender distribution would have changed things much.