I can't think of anything that sums up the cruel irony of this kind of reaction to our situation better than this. Poking our wounds. I can't think of a better way to put it. All I can suggest at the point where you recognize that's what's happening is: stand up, refuse to engage, walk out, seek alternatives, and don't look back. After a decade or so of similar abuse, the day I first did that was a fundamental turning point for me and I remember it vividly. From then on, things could only get better.