Yesterdays Outting It went well, I so enjoyed it. Feeling the sand on my feet and being able to run my hands throu it etc. That was so awesome,, being able to feel a new atmosphere and get with family, that was so great too. My sister ..after worrying on phone about having to leave me to get a carpark.. she ended up leaving me there by myself just after we got there as she wanted to walk to McDonalds for lunch with her kids (they are McDonalds addicts). I couldnt walk that far (it was nowhere in our vicinity but right down a road elsewhere) so I was left behind. I had a moment anxiety there as its been soo very long since Ive been left in public anywhere by myself for any real length of time (other then someone drop me off somewhere while a car is being parked) so being left alone for 30-45mins with no one around in case I got into severe trouble, was a bit daunting. So while they were going to and at McDonalds.. I was on my knees on the ground waiting in a queue at a sausage sizzle stall (as I cant stand in a queue so was keeping my place in queue by crawling along on my knees) and then breached my diet by having sausages (which may of had sugar in them). I ate my sausages, then just layed on some cool concrete in the shade and went to sleep (lots of people were about but its easy for me to sleep anywhere as I get so exhausted when out) till my sister showed up again and woke me. She then went on the beach to watch the Australia Day childrens events (with her kids) on the sand. No shade there so I couldnt do that either (the day I think was a bit warmer then the weather report I'd previously read had said). I had to find another way to enjoy myself.. so I layed under a tree on some cool grass for an hour watching people get their photos taken and enjoying the Australia Day atmosphere. I then ended up seeing there was a good shade place on the beach..under a structure so was able to spend the rest of my time there (not close enough to the events thou to be able to watch those thou). From a distance, I watched people spilling roulette wheel and getting free prizes (coudnt see their facial expressions but stil able to watch the activity). I couldnt wait in that queue to get a free prize thou was "just" been in walking distance as there was no shade there for me to be able to wait in. (my sister and kids went and waited in the queue there but didnt tell me and got their free prices.. I would of got them to hold a place for me in the queue if I'd known at the time). (I ended later on in the day once my other sister and her children showed, ended up going over there as I'd realised I could use a table there that they were serving people from for shade. So my other sisters kids waited in the queue, her young children hold a spot for me (while I sat almost under the table .. I must of looked kind of stupid and the organiser did ask me what I was doing there). When it got to their turn to spin the wheel thou.. my brain was so not with it that I forgot why I had gone to that spot and hence didnt have a go at it and just watched them get their free prizes... only realised I'd missed my turn when we had walked away from the place.. .doh!!). I found I couldnt get to the sea as the 150m to it on the sand in the heat, I was unable to walk (I tried but only made it a third that distance before I had no choice but to head back as I wasnt going to make it there, crawled the last back of the way back). My sister and her kids were down the beach the world record so many floatin on a thong floaty event .. I had to be content with enjoying to play in the sand on the beach in the shade of the structure (which as I said was very enjoyable as it isnt something I get to usually at all do). So I wasnt too bothered about all the things I couldnt do and wasnt going to dwell that I couldnt make it to the water as I had wanted. My father then showed up and I got to talk to him in a way I hadnt for years. (it was quite healing to hold a conversation with my father) My other sister and her kids finally showed up so I then had their company.. her children trying to build sand castles (which didnt work, sand was too dry where I had to be). I was knackered by the end of the day of laying on beach in the sand talking to family members some of that time. Staggering by the time we went to leave (I had a scare at this time, I lost my balance going back to the car as a garbage truck crawled went by on a small lane very close to me..caught my balance only just in time to stop myself from falling under its big wheels right next to me, counting myself very lucky, it made me very aware of just how vulnerable and at risk I are when out). When Im out with my support workers who have been around me a bit to have seen how bad my falling is, if Im not being pushed in wheelchair, they place themselves between me and the traffic to protect me.. my family thou dont have a clue as they dont spend much time with me to realise the dangers I face Sister dropped her young son off and me off too as the family were all meeting somewhere else to continue their Australia day partying on but I was too unwell to do anything else (I'd got to the point where I was struggling to stay awake and starting to fall alseep no matter what I was doing). Anyway.. I'd had a great day and are so glad I went. ............... Thou I'd gone quite well during the time I spent out (nearly all the time spent laying in shade) till towards the end, by the time I got home I was in shocking state.. very dehydrated again, felt as bad as I did when I was in the hospital the other week. I know they would of given me another 2 bags of saline had I rang ambulance but this time I not only had POTS affecting me but also the ME exhaustion too. I felt so ill thou that I couldnt bear the thought of what happened last time Id been ambulanced there of then having to wait in the waiting room till I'd colllapsed in their toilets. So decided I wouldnt call ambulance (instead I rang my elderly friend and arranged for him to give me a 10am phone call this morning to make sure I was still alive and conscious.. I was in either I'll survive till tomorrow or die mode) and just then allowed myself to go to sleep which wasnt at all hard, I was struggling to stay awake anyway and kept falling asleep. I then slept 15hrs? I think it was (waking up multiple times in middle of night very thirsty and grabbing the drink by my bed). This morning I have some slight pain in my left kidney area (so no doubt my kidneys werent working right again).. kidney pain at about 2/10. Its settled down now thou and I'll just keep my fluid uptake up today and keep myself indoors resting. I kept hoping Im not about to ruin my kidneys.. I just couldnt bear the thought of having to wait in that hospital waiting room again.