I belong to a group on Ravelry.com (database of knitting patterns and lots of forums) It's called "Selfish Knitters and Crocheters" but only because we knit what we want, when we want and for whom we want. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who think they can ask for a handcrafted item just because you have the skills! Mostly they're after a freebie and don't realize knitting takes hours and hours and hours and hours. If we say "no, I won't knit for you" we're often called selfish. But we really aren't. In the group we're encouraging each other that "no" is indeed a polite and complete answer to a request. No justifications are needed. We give each other examples of how to deal with the guilt and the urge to please people. We laugh at ridiculous requests some knitters get. The vibe of group has helped me with ME/CFS matters. Whenever a request is made upon me I check: - do I want to do this? Really want? Would I have enjoyed doing this if the request was not made? - will the person appreciate my effort? Know how much it will cost me? - would this person do a similar thing for me if the situation was reverse? I've now been called selfish in my family because I don't attend birthdays or send cards. Because I insist on emailing people instead of calling them on the phone. You know, all the things that make life more bearable for an ill person. It's ok. I'm doing better for it healthwise. I now have the freedom to enjoy my time on the sofa and actually knit, instead of fretting over guilt or being too exhausted from whatever I felt I had to do instead of what I wanted to do. I've also stopped explaining the hows and the why's. If they don't know by now, they never are going to hear me. Be "selfish", dear PRers!