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Symptoms after Psychosis

Discussion in 'General ME/CFS Discussion' started by Dromenvanger, Jun 5, 2017.

  1. Dromenvanger

    Dromenvanger

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    Dear forum members,
    I am new here and this is my first (veeeery long) post. I actually don't really know were to put my story and questions, so I just put it here. For some of you it might be a little too much spiritual etc. but this is how I experience it.

    I don't have a diagnosis of ME, but I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder because of a psychosis I had last year. But Now I Experience some real strange and annoying symptoms and maybe some people here will recognize them.

    My psychosis started when I was meditating a lot last year and I felt very happy and discovered a new consious part of myself. I got very euphoric, felt a lot of love and this got out of hand. During the psychosis I had a mystical Experience/out of body experience and something similar to awakening/feeling of higher consciousness/connectedness to Everthing and everyone (similar to LSD/DMT, which Ive never tried but I read about it). I could feel energy rushing through my body and I could feel other's energy/aura's too.
    I had a lot of emotions and they were intense.
    I stayed hypersensitive (quit medication, antipsychotics quite Quickly after a month because I hated it and it made me numb) and could Enjoy music/art much more. It's called manic psychosis in medical therms, though it felt as a true connection with my inner soul which broke through.

    Now, after about a year being connected/hypersensitive, I got very tired at the point when I felt sad quite often because of how I see our society is so unpersonal, and I couldn't handle all the energies I felt anymore.
    I could also feel my spine being totally cold, and there were some spots that felt burnt/slightly irritated. After some time, I surrendered to the tiredness/negative feeling. I tried very hard to stay in positive mood but couldnt handle anymore.

    I went to bed and the next day I woke up, and everything had changed. It feels like Im totally dissociated from my body. I suddenly experience no feelings/emotions. My body center feels totally numb. I could feel extreme tension in the center of my body, from my bottom to my throat. Its like a muscle in the inside of my body, in the centre, which is totally contracted and my diaphragm feels like it's never relaxing anymore and there is a huge contraction. I could also feel more tension in my legs and my muscles were a bit sore. This all happened in 1 night...

    Ever since I experience a lot of strange things:
    - Cannot cry or laugh. If I do it doesnt feel real or doesnt give relief
    - dry eyes
    - no positive emotions (anhedonia?)
    - the Same feeling every moment
    - very cold feet
    - no connection anymore with myself and others
    - no feeling of tiredness, but I do fall asleep, next day I feel the same
    - stiffness in the right side of my body
    - obstipation
    - barely a feeling of hunger/thirst
    - trouble with thinking, I lost my ability to see things through
    - I lose Oversight very Quickly,
    - Quickly disorientated
    - no feeling of self, I cannot really have an opinion about something or make desicions cause Everything feels the Same
    - no feelings of anxiousness, Just nothing.
    - loss of empathy, nothing bothers me while I used to be a very caring person
    - feel very introvert while I used to be extravert
    - apathy
    - it seems like I lost my musical feeling and hearing skills too, which is sad cause I am a good singer and it's my passion, but because of the inner tension and loss of feelings singing became very difficult :(
    - sporting doesnt give me energy, I don't feel when my body is tired, I sometimes only feel a little little bit tiredness in my head
    - A cold feeling in my chest
    - a feeling of being locked up in myself

    I try to connect with myself but it seems that my brain "switched" to this strange state where I am not able to go out of my head anymore. I went from being very sensitive and connected to my body, to being in a zombie/robot like state.

    Im trying antidepressants now for about two weeks, Im not sure if theyll work.

    Do some of you recognize something in my story? If so, how are your experiences? Are there any tips or should I go on like a marching robot? Could it be ME?

    Hope you guys can help me.

    Love from Holland!
     
    pamojja likes this.
  2. Snowdrop

    Snowdrop Rebel without a biscuit

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  3. Deltrus

    Deltrus Senior Member

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    This is so much in the grey area, makes me wish diagnostic tests were done being researched so you could figure out more. I have some of the symtoms you have such as anhedonia, right side stiffness, dry eyes, constipation. And bipolar has been linked to mitochondria I think.
     
    merylg likes this.
  4. Hip

    Hip Senior Member

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    Hi @Dromenvanger

    You might get more responses if you post your situation on the longecity.org forum, in the brain health or mental health sections. There are quite a lot of threads not dissimilar to yours on longecity. In particular, someone in this thread on longecity is in a similar state.


    Your list of symptoms could be due to the mental health condition called depersonalization, and/or a similar condition called derealization. That's something to consider anyway.

    The out of body experiences you had can be a symptom of depersonalization.

    Here is how the Mayo Clinic describe derealization and depersonalization:
    Depersonalization and derealization come under the general category of dissociative disorders. As the name suggests, in these dissociative disorders, you kind of dissociate with your own self or your environment: you create a mental distance between your inner self, and your own mind (and its emotions and memories), or your body, or the environment.

    The drugs naltrexone and naloxone, which can cure both conditions: see this post. Naltrexone you can get from you doctor, or if he is not willing, there are some online prescription-free pharmacies that sell it, such as this one.


    There are also the similar symptoms of anhedonia (loss of pleasure) and blunted affect (loss of emotions), which I suffer from myself, and are described in this post. Anhedonia is a symptom found in depression, and also in schizophrenia. Blunted affect also occurs in schizophrenia. And blunted affect can be found in ME/CFS.


    You obstipation (severe constipation) might be due to a viral or other infection. I would not be surprised if a virus or other infection was the cause of this major change your mental state. I had the experience myself of catching a virus (likely coxsackievirus B4), and this triggering horrible mental symptoms such as generalized anxiety disorder, anhedonia, emotional flatness, depression, memory problems, as well as a number of physical symptoms like: chronic sore throat, sudden-onset receding gums, recurrent stomach aches, cold hands and feet. Later I also developed ME/CFS. My virus is detailed on my website here.

    The symptom list that you posted above does not sound much like ME/CFS, especially if you say you do not feel more tired or fatigued. The main symptoms of ME/CFS are listed at the top of this roadmap document. You might also want to compare your symptoms to the CDC criteria for CFS.

    Do your symptoms become worse after physical or mental exertion? That is very common in ME/CFS, and is called post-exertional malaise (PEM).

    You might also want to investigate whether your severe constipation is a symptom of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).



    Are you talking about muscle tension here?
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2017
    Jennifer J, Hutan and helen1 like this.
  5. barbc56

    barbc56 Senior Member

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    @Dromenvanger

    Who prescribed your antidepressant? It really takes a psychiatrist with lots of experience and training with psychotropic medications to fine tune any that are needed. Do you mind sharing which AD you are taking? There are several classes of antidepressants and some are more effective for a particular conditions than otherd, even within the same class. Some have dietary restrictions or shouldn't be taken with certain medications. People may react in different ways.

    It usually takes about four to six weeks for antidepressants to kick in. Interestingly, you can get these symptoms if you are on too low a dose as well as too high. This is why it's important to see an expert. It's really quite complicated.

    Have you recently had a physical? A good psychiatrist will ask for this. It was my psychiatrist who discovered my thyroid was low and contributing to my depression.

    I would strongly advise not to buy these drugs online or without a doctor's supervision as it's really playing with fire.

    I am not a doctor, but it seems you don't display the symptoms to be diagnosed with me/cfs.

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2017
  6. Oberon

    Oberon Senior Member

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    I know this may not be want to hear but a lot of what you wrote lines up with your Bipolar diagnosis. I'm not saying to discount other potential medical issues and you should still pursue testing.

    You've gone from one extreme to another which is a fairly hallmark symptom. If you don't want to try your standard pharmaceutical treatment you may want to research high dose niacin to see if it can help you.
     
    mrquasar and Hip like this.
  7. Hip

    Hip Senior Member

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    That's an interesting point, @lakesarecool, it might be worth considering bipolar disorder, whose symptoms are listed here. I guess if there were a continued cycling from an ecstatic manic phase, to a depressed phase, and then back to manic, then bipolar disorder might fit.

    @Dromenvanger, have you considered getting your doctor to refer you to a good psychiatrist, just for diagnosis purposes?
     
  8. mrquasar

    mrquasar Senior Member

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    The easiest explanation would be that you've swung into a depressive phase of the bipolar disorder. Now obviously there could be other totally unrelated causes of your symptoms, but it would be best to make sure you're on the right medications for the bipolar disorder if you're confident in that diagnosis. If your symptoms continue despite being adequately medicated for the bipolar, it would make sense to pursue testing for other conditions.
     
  9. Skippa

    Skippa Anti-BS

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    Damn, I wonder what a buddhist would say about your initial enlightenment...

    Anyways, careful with those anti-depressants, oftentimes they are contra-indicated with bipolar because they can push you right back into mania... monitor yourself carefully...

    If this does happen, you'll probably think "weeee I'm free again, I can do loads of stuff this is awesome" but you MUST present back to your physician again so they know what has happened...
     
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  10. Hugo

    Hugo Senior Member

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    Yoga, mindfullness and meditation could initiate a psychosis in people who are prone to get psychosis. Its not that uncommon trigger. In the field of mindfullness they focus more on grounding mindfullness when they treat patients with psychosis.
     
  11. Dechi

    Dechi Senior Member

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    I am sorry you're having a hard time. Do you feel comfortable with your bipolar diagnostic ? From reading your post it seems like a very real possibility. Are you on lithium or other bipolar meds ? Part of being bipolar unfortunately also means bipolar depression, which could explain the feelings you're having right now. It seems like you went from manic to depressed, a typical bipolar chain of events.

    I don't know who is following you, but I hope this doctor is familiar with bipolar disease, or even better specializes in it. It's a very complex disease and most doctors don't know it, but prescribing antidepressants to bipolars has a counter effect, ie it worsens the depression. Unless done in a very specific way, in combination with other types of medication.

    You should find a good bipolar support forum, there are really good ones out there. I wish you the best.
     
  12. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Hi, it doesnt sound like ME/CFS but rather a mental health disorder OR a spiritual crisis if your meditation activated your kundalini (and that then leads to things like feeling energy, OBEs, on a high, intense emotions etc). The treatment of that kind of spiritual crisis would be to stop the practices you were doing at the time and work on grounding. Im expecting you werent doing that under a good teacher so had no one to help u and probably kept continuing your meditation at the time.

    You may want to contact someone experienced with that field of things. Look up kundalini symptoms. I suspect that may be your issue.

    Kundalini energy travels up the spine and can be felt as hot or cold..so when you say your spine feels cold. this fits too. Meditation is probably one of the top things which sets off kundalini, so your history fits. The excessive energy once set off can congest and lead to blocks in a persons energy field which then can lead onto other issues including then someone ending up with mental health issues as a result of all this.

    Exercise regularly, get out in nature more (share your energy with big trees can help ground. Do not work your energy! as that can further activate things, simply sit on the ground with your spine against the trunk.. pine trees are great to use). You could also try taking some salt and bicarb baths regularly which can help clear your field a bit (which may if done regularly help clear some of the negative stuff you are feeling). If you want a very clearing bath try 250 gram bicarb with 500g salt.

    best luck, Kundalini problems can be quite difficult to fix... seek out a good teacher who knows about this stuff and how to tone it down. Dont be afraid to reconnect and let the energy you are bottling flow again out from you.

    "it seems like I lost my musical feeling and hearing skills too, which is sad cause I am a good singer and it's my passion, but because of the inner tension and loss of feelings singing became very difficult"

    Have u ever noticed that the best singers like sing from their souls. I think you've got overwhelmed and scared when you triggered too much off and then have shut yourself down, which of cause shuts everything down.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2017
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  13. Dromenvanger

    Dromenvanger

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    Yeah I recognize a lot in spiritual crisis. It felt like I finally found who I really am (although in the end I thought I was Mara Magdalena reincarnated) and that the job I did (speech and language therapy) didnt fit that purpose. I wanted to save the world etc. but Now I don't feel like doing ANYTHING cause nothing changes my state and nothing bothers me.

    About the grounding: I don't meditate anymore cause I don't feel like it anymore. I don't feel my spine anymore after the switch to the lower state/depression. I tried to ground while I was still connected/in the higher state, but it was VERY difficult, cause a lot had happened (lost my house during the crisis) and now I live in a place I don't really like, so my "soul" didn't want to come down so it seemed. Now I totally don't see the purpose of grounding, cause I can't seem to feel my body.

    I also don't feel the energies anymore, except for a little bit of "pulling" energy when around a Group of people I don't know.
     
  14. Dromenvanger

    Dromenvanger

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    Hello Hip,
    Thank you for ur replies.
    I do have an official diagnosis Bipolar and the antidepressants have been prescribed by a psychiatrist.

    The antidepressant is called escitalopram.
     
  15. Dromenvanger

    Dromenvanger

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  16. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    That certainly does sound like psychosis, people do often remember past lives during kundalini activations but generally they are fairly boring and arent famous people, no grandose.. Grandose is certainly is a bipolar symptom

    I hope you improve.. best wishes.
     
    belize44 likes this.
  17. char47

    char47 Senior Member

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    Hi, sorry to hear of your suffering. Your symptoms dont sound like ME to me, but as was mentioned by Hip they do sound as if you are on the Dissociative Spectrum. Dissociative disorders are often misdiagnosed as bipolar by psychs who arent experienced in dissociation. Not saying you dont have bipolar, i wouldnt know, but i do know that many people with DID & other Dissociative problems are frequently misdiagnosed with either bipolar or BPD.

    It might be worth checking out the info at http://www.pods-online.org.uk/

    whatever happens i hope you find some relief soon
     
  18. caledonia

    caledonia

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    I don't think it's ME.

    It could be something purely spiritual. It could be bipolar and you've switched into a depression phase after a mania phase.

    You do have several hypothyroid symptoms (depression symptoms, constipation, coldness). I think it would be worthwhile getting a complete thyroid panel, to rule out any thyroid issues. See https://stopthethyroidmadness.com/ for more info.

    You also have some symptoms of magnesium deficiency (constipation, muscle tension). Some supplementation could be helpful.

    If it ends up being a mental illness, and you don't like the medications, you can try finding a Walsh practitioner. William Walsh measured the nutrition levels of something like 30,000 people with mental heath issues, and found certain patterns of nutritional deficiencies for various disorders. Supplementing with certain nutrients can help alleviate the mental illness. You may be able to lower the dose of your medication or even stop it completely. http://www.walshinstitute.org/

    It could be that toxic metals such as mercury are causing the issues. For example, mercury can cause hypothyroidism, mental health issues, fatigue, etc. In that case, testing to see if you have metals, and then if so, chelating them out, could get to the root of the problem. If you decide to go that route, I suggest only doing the Cutler frequent dose chelation protocol. If you click on my signature link, it goes to a page of info. I have section on Cutler protocol info, how to get tested, and support forums about 3/4 of the way down the page.
     
  19. Dromenvanger

    Dromenvanger

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    I do recognize the kundalini symptoms, they still manifested even when I realized the Maria Magdalena thing was a mindf****. The energy had flown from my root to my crown and back.
    Right before the OBE/psychosis, I Let go of a lot of past life pain and pain from my youth. It felt really relieving. I was also intuitively being busy with healthy food and stuff.

    I think indeed I never really managed to ground after the kundalini happening so my whole energy field doesn't protect me anymore and is a mess.

    This all happened 1,5 yrs ago, so hopefully things will be still fixable :(
     
  20. Wufflit

    Wufflit

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    Hi,

    I had a similar experience six years ago. I don't think it was related to ME because i had already been diagnosed with ME many years before. For me it was probably a dissociative episode bordering on fugue state. it lasted for several months. During that time i discovered a kind of sapient being inside myself. A lot of things you describe i can relate to but some are the opposite, so it could be something different. It has taken me a long time to recover from it. Even now i am not the same as i used to be. I try to look at it as both good and bad, because I think i have grown as a person because of it.
     

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