Thanks Maddie, This was not sent to me personally. It was a blog that he sent to all who subscribe to him. (or whose e-mail address he has). I believe that God is the Creator and he is only good. I have very strong faith and if anything this experience of my illness has been a humbling experience showing me that I am not in control. Yes, I need to do whatever I humanly possibly can to help my situation but, my true recovery will happen when God thinks its the right time. I do not believe that it's a punishment from god. It goes back to the old age question ' why do good people suffer" and there is no answer. or no answer that we can logically understand. Like you said, all we can do is the best of our capabilities and hope for the best results possible. I was just overwhelmed by his emphasis on putting on a guilt trip on me on top of everything else I have to deal with. Way, way too much!