I started going to a spiritual healer in March. I didn't really realize what exactly it meant. I had no idea that she or "they" believe that all illness comes from an underlying emotional factor. Right from the get go I was told through muscle testing that I was a man in my previous life, my brother had been my son and my mother was my brother/son's grandmother. In my previous life I was from South America. I went along with this up until recently when I was told that almost everything that was going on in my life that was negative; for example, I worked so much and now I am burned out....in the spiritual healer's mind, I have purposely burned myself out because I don't want to be successful due to someone in my family being successful and a jerk. Every illness is explained through me causing it because subconsciously, I don't want to deal with something. I have interstitial cystitis because I don't want to have sex and I want to keep men at a distance. Or, I possibly have been raped and didn't know it. A cigar is never just a cigar. You get the picture. I wanted this to work. I liked the mantras and the positive affirmations. I am sad that I feel like everything I try is a road to nowhere. My CFS doctor stinks. My acupuncturist wants to see me twice a week even though I am on Medicare and can't afford it....and she never hears me when I say this. Last week I had a scare that I might have breast cancer. I had a mammogram and it came back that I have calcifications and they wanted me to come back in pronto for another test. They needed to see me now, "right now." Then, I had somewhere to be; I opened my mailbox and received a letter from my GYN saying I have a fibroid tumor and a cyst on my one ovary. Last week, I was being hit over the head with bad news every day from the medical profession and a letter? That's how you let me know what you found in an ultrasound? Plus, my therapist, who I had really grown to like decided to retire. I came in and she told me "today is my last day." WHAT??? I never like therapists, I finally like someone and she retires? I sat there in shock and cried during my whole last session, like now what?? I feel completely betrayed by the medical profession. It's all some sick joke. I am unraveling. Some people think I am not proactive in looking for answers, but for all of the reasons above, this is why I just cave in and decide to do nothing. I just want to do nothing and lay in bed due to lack of sleep, but according to the spiritual healer, it's my way of not wanting to deal with life and to not be successful with my job. I quit with her. Done. I want to do that with all of my doctor's.