I have a blog where I recently posted some questions to the patient community. When are we educated advocates, and when have we gone too far surrounding ourselves with the illness (and possibly making ourselves more sick)? I'm looking for that balance right now, and would appreciate any insight! http://lannieinthelymelight.blogspot.com/2010/10/self-fulfilling-prophecy.html I started this blog for a lot of different reasons. As stated at the very beginning, I wanted to keep my family and friends informed of my situation. Ive been very lucky to have a lot of people reach out and show their concern over the past 3 years. I wanted to be sure they were able to know where I was, what I was up to, and how I was progressing. I also started this blog to give back, help the cause. There are so many other ME/CFS and Lyme patients out there who have helped me through their words whether it be through blogs, emails, forums, phone calls. So there I went, happily on my way. Since the beginning, Ive been fairly dialed in, and thought this a perfect platform to share my knowledge on the subject. At some point through my journey, I think dialed in become closer to sucked in. Some weeks I post to my blog 3-4 times. I sit down to my computer and start writing. Next thing I know hours have passed. And while good to have an outlet, Im a little worried Ive done myself a disservice being so involved. One day last week I finally realized that everywhere I turned I was reading, writing, talking about ME/CFS or Lyme. My facebook history page is easily 75% patients and/or organizations posting research. My twitter account is pretty much only medically related updates at this point. I realized I hadnt read a book for fun in 6 months. For a while now, Ive been able to accept this illness because I knew I wasnt living healthily before. I looked at it as this was my re-set button. I used to work countless hours, on the road, with little sleep. This was my forced time-out to reassess and learn good habits for when I recover. Somehow along the way Ive managed to become as type A about my illness as I was about my career. Enter the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy. I have begun to wonder am I making myself sick by surrounding myself with the illness? About a year or so ago now, I ordered the Gupta ME/CFS programme. Its a meditation, mind-retraining program designed for people specifically with ME/CFS. I jumped in with the same vigor I use in every aspect of my life. It was pretty easy to follow. It just required practice and structure. No problem. Im good at that. But a few days in a requirement was given, to stop reading and researching ME/CFS for the 6 month commitment you were to make to the program. NO WAY! And that was it. No more Gupta programme. But I have to admit Im starting to understand the rule now. Ive always thought I needed to be an educated patient to be my best advocate. And I still believe that. But I wonder where the line is At what point do I let go? By stopping my research do I risk not finding THE SOLUTION. Or does it mean Im giving into the illness? By accepting and learning to live within the parameters have I given up? I dont have the answers. I dont want to miss something that could help me. But I dont want to make myself more sick by surrounding myself with this information all the time. And then theres the acceptance piece. Im not ready to accept that this is my life yet. Fellow patients, advocates, friends, whats your take? Is there such thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy? Have you figured out the balance?