1. Patients launch $1.27 million crowdfunding campaign for ME/CFS gut microbiome study.
    Check out the website, Facebook and Twitter. Join in donate and spread the word!
New Exercise Study Brings Both Illumination and Questions
Simon McGrath looks at new objective evidence of abnormal response to exercise in ME/CFS patients, and the questions that researchers are still trying to answer ...
Discuss the article on the Forums.

Rejecting job offers

Discussion in 'Finances, Work, and Disability' started by Sherezade, Apr 17, 2013.

  1. Sherezade

    Sherezade Senior Member

    Messages:
    113
    Likes:
    47
    Guys,

    Today was a bad day. Since I quitted my job in January I have received two jobs offers, that i rejected. I don't feel well enough to have a full time job. Today i got one offer, the job of my dreams, one i had pursuid for many years.

    I haven't replied yet, and I want to say yes, but it hurts me to think that i can't. Should i try, at least, to see what happens? I don't want to fail, and then lose the good proffesional name that i have worked for years.

    I used to have a very succesful career before i got sick, i need to do something to feel productive, but i know that in this new job they will have demands that i can't accomplish, at least for now.

    Besides, i had planned to go abroad to study a master in business english. I choose a very flexible master, so i think i can do it.

    Anyway, i just share this with you because i know that you are the only ones that can understand me. If i tell my family they probably tell me to accept it.
    Plum likes this.
  2. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,806
    Likes:
    906
    US
    Sorry you are in that position. Yes we know about grieving for everything we lost :( Career is a big one. Allow yourself to be sad about it, but don't try to fool yourself or push yourself.

    Do the studies abroad. That's a really good goal you came up with. I would be so happy for you while you're doing it, something you want and are capable of. That is a lot more than some of us can do, but we can cheer you on.
    Plum likes this.
  3. Sherezade

    Sherezade Senior Member

    Messages:
    113
    Likes:
    47
    Thank you little kitten for your encourage :)

    I just replied them and ask for a ridiculous amount of money (I might be sick but I still have my pride). So, they will say no, and that's the end of the story :(

    Sorry, but this whole situation is overwhelming. I've lost a huge part of my life and I'm not coping with it, i'm revealing against.
  4. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,806
    Likes:
    906
    US
    It's a tragedy that we lose so much. If our health is stable or improving, we adjust over time, like with other types of grief/loss.
  5. snowathlete

    snowathlete

    Messages:
    2,019
    Likes:
    2,054
    UK
    I can TOTALLY relate! Man what a crap situation this is. I have career things that I want to pursue with opportunities appearing in my lap sometimes and most of the time I can't take them. It's depressing, but I try to be patient and hope that I will get better and then be able to pursue the opportunities then. But, yeah, I feel for you, I know how you feel and I'm sure others do too.
    justy likes this.
  6. Esther12

    Esther12 Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,152
    Likes:
    5,061
    Sorry to hear that you are having to make unfortunate choices.

    Could you speak to them about working on a flexi-time arrangement? I don't know your situation, so can't offer advice, but I tend to think that it's best to try to be open and honest about things, and hope for the best. (This doesn't always go as well as one might hope). Good luck with it all.
  7. Sherezade

    Sherezade Senior Member

    Messages:
    113
    Likes:
    47
    Thank you for your words Snowathlete, it feels comforting that you guys can understand me. This is awful, one year ago i was ready to conquer the world, i had so many plans and goals, and now this. It's so hard to cope with it.

    Esther, thank you for your advice. Unfortunaly, the pharmaceutical industry is very competitive and demanding, and they would prefer a healthy person that can meet all their requirements, so, part time jobs with them are not an option.

    I realize now that if i want to do something productive, i have to do it on my own. Maybe to run a small business, with help, and not strict hours. I've been talking about that with my family, and they are supportive about financing me, but still it's a complex decision that i have to make. Also, their help is limited as the resources.

    At this point I will focus in my master, and see what happens later.
    snowathlete likes this.
  8. ggingues

    ggingues $10 gift code at iHerb GAS343 of $40

    Messages:
    3,921
    Likes:
    784
    Concord, NH
    If you were to go for employment, find yourself a good Dr, so they can support you medically, and with documentation if things turn bad, saying you need reduced hours (FMLA In the USA for serious medical conditions) or what ever might help you hold onto your job. I'm going through that again right now!

    GG
  9. Plum

    Plum Senior Member

    Messages:
    356
    Likes:
    189
    UK
    It's really tough with ME and trying to have a career. I've had to give mine up completely for the past 3 years. What I have learnt is that I can't go back to my old way of doing things. Ever. As this was part of the reason I got this ill in the first place.
    It is so hard to find a purpose in life when you have limited energy. I struggle with it a lot. But I am trying to enjoy the life I do have. I think it's important that we function and try to enjoy ourselves within the limitations that we have.
    I think yr part time course sounds great. It will give you something to focus on. I think accepting a full time job without first trying something part time to see how you cope may unfortunately be too much for you right now. You don't want to make yourself worse. So enjoy your part time course and feel proud that someone offered you a great job :)
    justy likes this.
  10. Jarod

    Jarod Senior Member

    Messages:
    733
    Likes:
    390
    planet earth
    Hi there. I know exactly what you mean!

    I missed my total dream job also. I would have been making money working on my favorite hobby, if you can believe that.....

    My previous boss got a job as VP and called me up....

    It hurts.
    justy likes this.
  11. Daffodil

    Daffodil Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,736
    Likes:
    728
    i was once offered a job 4 days a week, $40K. i know that doesnt sound like a huge amount but it was a low stress perfect job for me....and at a place i adore. had to say no. awful disease! lol

See more popular forum discussions.

Share This Page