Kaiser Permanente's pain management program gave me some helpful tools that take a bit of the edge off, sometimes, and help me sleep, sometimes, but one thing that really doesn't work for me is their "3 P's" of Prioritize, Plan and Pace. Before ME I was a very busy and organized person. I already prioritized and planned and because I was a mom I was an ace at pacing, because you just don't run babies and toddlers around nonstop. I knew and was good at the 3P tools. The sicker I've gotten, the more I have had to prioritize and the more things have dropped off my list. From professional work to schooling to vegetable gardening to social action, from hikes to dancing to visiting friends to seeing a movie out, I can't do what I used to. I'm down to prioritizing, planning and pacing so I can cook a meal, wash dishes, fill out another welfare form damn them. Comforting my child at 3 am when insomnia, pain and isolation become too much for that 16-year-old to bear, I give all I can, but a part of my mind is agonizing, wondering how I will cope the following day when my wee hour of having given what scraps of comfort I could takes its toll on my own energy. Then there's the 4th P: Pleasure. Where did that go? Lifestyle management sounds good in theory, but when I have prioritized, planned and paced and there is nothing more to cut back on, what then?