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Oh shit. I just accidently ODed on my drugs

Discussion in 'General Treatment' started by taniaaust1, Apr 10, 2012.

  1. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Actually nope, I think this drug to help me sleep trial is a huge flop.. even an OD of it dont help me to sleep... (the two times I thought maybe it had helped me to sleep, appear now that it must of just been cause I was in a crash at time)

    I was in hospital and complaining at 9-10am.. that I hadnt slept at all and couldnt sleep so had gone 24 hrs without no sleep at all. I didnt fall asleep till about 3pm today (36hrs with no sleep). I then only slept 3 hrs.

    At this site, Ive been singled out and harrassed some and made to feel bad for taking benzo drugs which do help me to sleep. I myself find the benzos (and the anti histamine I keep developing tollerance too which I also have to take with melatonin) the only drugs which help me with this symptom.

    I cant find another answer to my issues... Im trying to find one but cant.. and without sleep, I can end up going days without sleep and and end up in mood swings and halluncinations and end up in trouble with the law due to no sleep.

    After this new drug trial which has caused me to end up in hospital.. Im now wondering if I should just be content with just staying on the benzos and what I do now. Im putting myself at risk with trying to trial other things for sleep as its confusing the heck out of me as far as my meds go. All the drug trials and all the med changes.

    The hospitals doctors said that amptriptyline dosage i'd actually taken could of been dangerous for me, they kept my vitals monitored due to the amount which was taken... I dont weigh a lot so that dosage was more of an issue to me then it would of been to many others. They were quite concerned it would do something to my brain or my heart.

    Yes I may get addicted to the benzos.. but on the other hand, the drug trials of other drugs like this one could end up killing me or harming me. With the MCS, also every new drug I try is putting me at some risk to.
  2. Enid

    Enid Senior Member

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    So glad to hear that's all over Tania and you are OK.
  3. Ocean

    Ocean Senior Member

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    Glad you're safe at home and okay Tania.
  4. heapsreal

    heapsreal iherb 10% discount code OPA989,

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    If you need benzos to sleep then you need them to sleep, they cant make your sleep any worse. Maybe those who are anti these meds may have jumped on them too early or maybe werent sleeping as bad as they first thought but i dont really know?? But for many of us we have had sleep problems for a few years before going onto benzo's, its not like benzos have caused us the sleep disorders. Its a touchy subject i guess, but there are many with ME how have had chronic sleep disorders who have never taken a benzo, maybe treating this like you have found out tania would have helped many to function better.

    I use endep at 25mg and it has never made me sleepy at all either but it is the only antidepressant i have found where i havent had any side effects, but it has helped with improving mood and general aches and pains abit, it may improve my sleep quality when i take a benzo with it for sleep. I have used higher doses with no effect on sleep as well, but others seem to get rolled over by low doses, we are all just so different.

    Tolerance to sleep meds not just benzo's is an issue for chronic insomniacs, all we can do is take regular breaks from certain meds and rotate between a few things that work for us, nothing works every night forever, just need more tools in your tool kit i guess. using a benzo every second night is a good plan with a non benzo like an antihistamine on the others or slowly adding different natural remedies to your sleep arsenal can help. Cortisol and dhea ratio's i think also play a big part in sleep as well and worth looking into.

    good to see your back with us,
    cheers!!!
    ahimsa and taniaaust1 like this.
  5. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Im wondering if my low cortisol is causing me issues.

    Maybe I didnt take a high enough dose when I trialed hydrocortisone? as I trialed it in a very low dose for a while and got no change in any of my symptoms. Maybe I should of trialed it at a higher dose then I did (but that is dangerous as that then gives the risk of the adrenals working even worst and getting Addisons disease which can be life threatening).

    I so wish I could work out what is causing the sleep issues.
  6. Ocean

    Ocean Senior Member

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    I disagree that they can't make sleep worse. I have a lot of sleep trouble and dysfunction, and yes benzos help me fall asleep in a way I can't achieve on my own, but I sleep much worse on meds than without. The quality of sleep is much worse for me so it does in fact worsen my already dysfunctional sleep, even though it does put me to sleep. I think it's a very highly individual thing. For some it's preferable over their unmedicated sleep and for others not. I see nothing wrong with taking it if it helps a person as long as they are aware of the potential for physical dependency/tolerance. Sleep is a big problem for so many of us. Medication has its drawbacks and not taking anything has its drawbacks. Like Tania said lack of sleep can cause its own set of problems.
    ahimsa likes this.
  7. heapsreal

    heapsreal iherb 10% discount code OPA989,

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    I think high or low cortisol can cause sleep issues as well as inappropriate cortisol secretion like too much at night, but, i think we need healthy dhea levels before using cortisol as dhea helps to balance the negative effects of cortisol. DHEA also has an effect on certain inflammatory cytokines known to be high in cfs/me that cause insomnia. Hopefully this new doc might help you to work through something like this. I think for me sorting this out has been helping me with sleep as i have reduced my sleep med doses and im having less crappy nights then i once was, still need the meds but hopefully one day can come off them which i have hope for as i have been able to lower my doses without any issues. normally i would take 2 imovane or stilnox tabs to get to sleep, so not high doses anyway but now im only needing 1 tab, getting there though very slowly.

    cheers!!!
  8. Esther12

    Esther12 Senior Member

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    Sounds like a really bad idea to me. With a CFS diagnosis, you really don't want to get a reputation for trying to mislead your doctors.
  9. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Hey Tania, I am glad you survived the ordeal and are home again. Rest up and take good care of yourself.
  10. SOC

    SOC Moderator and Senior Member

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    Ah! That explains it. :D

    What a nightmare situation, tania! I'm glad you came through this encounter with the hospital okay after all you've been through in the past.
  11. Calathea

    Calathea Darkness therapy

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    Tania, re the letter: I probably shouldn't say this either, but what level of forgery are we talking about? Was the old doctor actually addressed on it, or just CC'd? Come to that, was the old doctor's address put on there, or just a name? Because if it's just a name, and it's a separate surgery, and there's no reason for your current GP to contact that doctor, then I would assume that they would completely ignore it. Providing, of course, that the letter doesn't say, "We recommend you contact this lady's former GP, who is Dr X and lives at Y address," but I'm guessing that it doesn't.

    If your GP has noticed that your records are incomplete and is going to search for the older ones, you can't stop them. However, if you have a fair amount of contact with your GP, then your records are probably so thick that you could lose most of them when going to a new doctor and still not be spotted!

    The "benzos can't do any harm" thing: the problem is that if you develop a tolerance for them, which is very common with benzos, then you can end up back to where you were before in terms of insomnia *and* hooked on an addictive drug which is hellish to come off. I spent a few months on gabapentin, actually for pain though it mainly helped my sleep, and it was an absolute nightmare to come off. I've been off it several months now and my sleep isn't back to usual yet. And I had just had several straight years of fantastic sleep due to the darkness therapy, so I am really irritated about this. I would never have dreamed of trying something so addictive if I had been warned. It's probably still less addictive than a benzodiazepine. I would be really careful there, although I realise that your options in this respect are crap.

    The amitriptyline was a reasonable thing to try, don't beat yourself up about it. You may be able to find ways of making your access to meds safer, so that you don't have to worry so much about the risk of doing this kind of thing again. And incidentally, I think most of us have done something similar. I've had a few occasions where I've taken the wrong meds, e.g. co-codamol instead of co-dydramol, and not realised until a long time afterwards. Thankfully it didn't cause anything serious, but it made me horribly aware of what could happen if I did that with, say, a high dose sleeping tablet by mistake.
    ahimsa likes this.
  12. mellster

    mellster Marco

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    Tania, good to hear that you're alright. Being German and generally skeptical of sleep medication drugs, I just thought about the 'German sleep remedy': half a glass of warm beer before going to bed :)
  13. snowathlete

    snowathlete

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    Glad your ok, but this line made me laugh - its exactly what I would be thinking - i bet those bast*rds dont credit my death to ME. Final nail in the coffin...litterally.

    Anyway, i havent read all the posts on here cause im not at my best, but Amitryptaline worked wonders for me in terms of sleep. I only take 20mg and the first couple of weeks were hellish, but after that the side effects went and i sleep the best i even have now. Id reccomend anyone with ME and sleep issues to try it for three weeks. Of course, it wont work for everyone, so if it doesnt work then try something else. It is amazing the different effect from one to another, even those in the same group of drugs, so it is alot about trial and error. Just bear in mind that most need a good few weeks to bed in - another pun....
  14. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Its just his name.. the letter starts off .. Dear (and then has my old doctors name on it). IIt would be easy just to scan it and wipe just the name out and leave it blank after the "Dear"

    Its the normal practice for someone who goes to a new GP to have their previous medical history sent from their other doctor. So there is a great chance if she saw my other doctors names and then may want to get all my medical notes from him...possibly the same with the CFS specialist who is overseeing things and being the main one.

    Ive got away with not having things transfered as my GP is working under a lot of specialists I see so any queries, she can direct her query to one of my specialists if she didnt trust me.

    I myself keep copies of all my test results so also are able to provide any lab result to her she wishes.. as I had so many different specialists etc.. no doctor was able to keep up with things anyway, there was always tests missing, no one was managing to properly coordinate it all together, so I now keep it all myself (and give copies to whatever specialist wants something when they ask about certain tests).

    I have two folders full of my lab results (and of course all that is checkable with the labs.. I know that as one of my specialists one time did ring lab for results after I'd already provided him with a copy of lab tests).

    Looking at this letter further.. I dont think I will give it to my doctor or specialist. I would of felt okay.. with maybe just removing a doctors name but dont feel okay about changing any content of the actual letter even if that just means removing a paragraph from it.

    I just saw the hospital has written on the bottom of the letter "Considering she has had a previous overdose history and is high risk, I discussed to her GP."

    oh crap that means the hospital rang one of my doctors, I wonder who they rang... my ex doctor but that wouldnt make sense as he's the one the letter is addressed too or the one who prescribed me the pills who is my new ME/CFS specialist ....sounds like it must of been him. ***sighs*** so now he knows my suicidal history and that the city hospital thinks Im a high risk patient.

    This may interfere with me getting ME/CFS treatment in future.. I now sooooo regret calling the ambulance. I probably would of been better off just risking the OD myself.

    :( Im really not happy about this.. I tried so hard to start a new with things and now very possibly.. crap if this has interfered with me getting treatment or starts my new ME/CFS doctor on focusing on psych stuff ..Im now going to be looking for a new ME/CFS yet specialist again.. and there are none other good ones in this state.

    ***i really feel like crying now.. it took me so long to get into this specialist (3 whole years) and now due to this accident .. getting my ME/CFS treated like most do may be ruined****

    I will not emotionally handle well any doctor not trying to treat my symptoms with drugs (I went throu that for over 10 years) and just leaving me to suffer, like the others did untreated cause they wont use drugs with me.

    Ive been so good for ages.. so happy since just before xmas when i got these new doctors but now suddenly starting to feel like cutting now, its slamming all the past stuff and what past doctors did to me in my face. I dont know if I can deal with doctors not treating my symptoms again.. (im running on very little sleep right now and locking emotions inside and NOW do feel a little bit like self harming... why couldnt the doctors just be open to me... all my past is slaming back...

    My boyfriend told me how proud he'd been about how well I'd dealt with having to ring ambulance and going to hospital and that..but now Im starting to be a mess. Its triggering off too much old stuff and too much past bad treatment.

    I wish I know what doctor the hospital has rung and IF it is my new ME/CFS specialist.. will that now alter how he treats me and have him holding back from giving me certain meds which could help the ME/CFS?

    Its going to be more then 3 weeks till I know, as boyfriend left on his cruise today so I have no way to get to my specialist to find out.... so Im going to be stressed out over this for the next 3 years. ..emotionally I cant afford to loose a doctor who was trying to help the ME/CFS. What's happened couldnt have happened at a worst time with my boyfriend away.

    I would of told my new specialist of my past but only after he'd got to know me a bit and I'd built up trust with him. The hospital shouldnt have rang the doctor who prescribed the pills as its now probably ruined everything for me.. and Yes ..now I will be emotionally affected by things.

    ****feeling so upset I rang the ambulance..as its probably ruined everything for me***** (urge to self harm is passing.. Ive thrown my emotion into this message and rave).

    The best thing I can do for myself right now is as to burn this letter to doctor that has upset me so much.. and try mentally block the whole thing out and try to block out completely that it appears the hospital has rang my specialist. To not block this may cause big issues to me.

    My referal to my psychologist ran out last year so I cant try to book an appointment with her while boyfriend is away. I could right now really do with talking to her about how I feel about this and my fears that I may now get poor doctor treatment due to it.

    I probably WILL end up suicidal again if the doctor starts withdrawing my treatments due to it or now not helping me so much. (I'll be quietly observing him now when I go next and paranoid he's going to betray me.. by betray I mean emotionally hurt me throu his response to this. I NEED my doctor to trust me so that I can trust him in return.

    I now feel like things are so f*cked up ***crying cause why did i have to confuse my meds and cause this mess** Im having a lot of trouble setting down..I need to know who the hospital rang. I need to be peaceful with my doctor situation again.

    Im angry and upset and worried if i dont settle down soon over this... I may worsen the situation for myself. ***wondering if the hospital could tell me who they rang if I rang them.. .bet thou they probably wouldnt speak to me***

    Wishing the medical system was wiser and understand that doing something behind patients backs stirs people up and causing someone not to trust them even more but the medical system is so darn stupid it will never realise that. I

    t will never realise either the harm they are doing by depriving people of help they need and how that ends up making us feel... I was left to die, my children should of never been left to be my carers cause no one would try to help me. I dont think Im going to ever forgive what was done to me in the past by them and the withholding of drugs which would of eased my ME/CFS symptoms as I said to the assessor from the disability services.. you just wouldnt treat a dog like that, Ive been treated worst then a dog. (I just want to scream how much I hate them). Im not going to handle things if this has changed the way my new doctor is with me.

    I hope no one here NEVER gets me to call an ambulance ever again. I do not want to go throu what Im going throu right now again... all the stress and worry this is giving me. I need to have my past separated from now.. I needed a fresh start and was getting that.. this has swing me back into my past and could seriously affect my ME/CFS treatment... and seriously.. I often think I'd rather be dead then none of my symptoms trying to be helped again and doctors just treating me like a nut case (it hurts so much when doctors do that.. I never want to be in that position again).

    It had been a massive relief to be being treated decently and how all of us should be. I couldnt bear it if that has been lost. Ive had 3mths of decent doctor treatment..first time in the 14 years Ive had this illness.. I cant bear thought of loosing that.

    Its doctors thinking Im a mental case and badly treating me due to that by ignoral of ME which ends up sending me in that emotional breakdown direction. My fears of that bad doctor treatment due to the past are MASSIVE. It sucks so much that poor doctors treatment has given me this fear which can be stirred up quite easily if set off.

    ***currently drained of all emotion now due to my rant .. better way to be then wanting to hurt myself and angry and upset at same time*** Im okay now (till I guess I start thinking about this too much again.. this is going to be a big emotional trigger point to me, till I can find out if its affected how my specialist will treat me.. what I'd call "bad" now or not)

    .... it sucks so much boyfriend is away cruising for next 3 weeks as otherwise I'd get him to take me to my ME/CFS specialist.. spill all the beans and my fears.. and see how he reacts to the news and see if its done any damage to how he's going to treat me. (I'll be going throu now 3 weeks of hell at times over this till I know)

    Ive calmed down now.. now not getting any stupid thoughts and feeling calm. I did come close to cutting myself (as it helps me to calm down) but didnt.


    My emotional reaction I think is also being triggered by the lack of sleep Ive had.. its 4am right now..so Im going throu a second night of no sleep at all.. its going to be a case of me only having 3 hrs sleep (that nap) in 48hrs. I dont emotionally function well with no sleep.

    Im also trying to take less benzos..so not using something which could bring me relief and would make me sleep.
  15. Esther12

    Esther12 Senior Member

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    I know that things like this can feel really shocking and worrying, but it's best to try to remember that your actual 'OD' was just a little accident, and nothing seriously bad has since happened because of it.

    You could always just tell your doctor what happened, without handing over a letter? If you explain that it was a silly mistake, but you were advised to get checked out at hospital, then it may not matter in the slightest.

    At this point, it's probably best to just take things as they come. You were worried that the doctors at the hospital would be really bad, but it sounded like they were okay in the end. Maybe this is another something which is worrying, but will turn out okay?

    (I'm not really aware of how the US medical system works, so I could be misunderstanding something).

    I'm hoping that it all works out well for you. Good luck with everything.
  16. SOC

    SOC Moderator and Senior Member

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    Tania --
    A thought about the letter and some of your hospital experience.... You mentioned that you are borderline asperger's and consequently don't lie well. :D In my limited experience with other mild and borderline asperger's patients, I find that the inability to lie goes along with a tendency to share more than they need to. You might want to give that a thought with regards to the letter and what you tell hospital and ambulance people. For example, does your doctor really need to know you went into the hospital for accidently taking too much of your med? Is it going to change your treatment, or how he treats you, in a constructive way? If it's not going to be useful to him, maybe the best thing to do with that letter is toss it in the trash.

    Similarly, I find I get the best treatment if I let the medical people deal with the immediate problem and not complicate matters by explaining all my associated medical issues. You know how they get when they hear about all the issues we have -- eyes glaze, brain shuts down. Since they were already monitoring your HR and BP, you didn't have to tell them all the background to get the treatment you needed in that moment. You accidently OD'd, they did the appropriate monitoring. That's enough.

    Now, if they aren't doing the appropriate monitoring, or want to give you a treatment that would be bad for you given your ME symptoms, then you have to speak up. But even so, I find it best to give them, in the moment, only as much as they need to know to do their job.

    Let's face it -- we scare the pants off largest part of the medical community. Something is really wrong with us, but they don't understand it, don't know how to treat it or prevent it. Sadly, it makes many of them want to either deny it or ignore it. If I need something immediate from the uneducated (in ME) medical folks, I find it best not to punch that button. My ME/CFS specialists know it all, my PCP knows as much as she's willing to read in my medical records, and ER people get very little of it.

    Just something to think about.....
    ahimsa likes this.
  17. Sushi

    Sushi Moderator and Senior Member Albuquerque

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    Tania,

    I am really glad you are home and safe. That drip was probably saline and a good idea with autonomic dysfunction. I really think you did the right thing--your life was at risk and they treated you pretty well--not as badly as they might have. Yes, it is weird that we have to evaluate our medical experiences with terms like "it could have been worse."

    The letter...let's all think about how to handle that. Any chance you could trust your new specialist and just tell him about your history and trust that he would understand?

    Re: amitriptaline for sleep. Before I was fully sick I had had sleep issues for years. I took a job in a hospital that required me to sleep there overnight, on-call for emergencies, once or twice a week. That meant I had to be alert when my beeper went off so couldn't take anything like a benzo or ambien (stillnox). I went to a sleep specialist and he gave me amitriptaline but only 10 mg. He said it was only effective for sleep at a very low dose.

    I don't know if other sleep docs agree with that but it did work. It didn't work at all in the same way as a benzo but I was able to get to sleep and go back to sleep after being called to an emergency. It had other side effects that made me stop it when I left the job though.

    Later I took ambien, but still had sleep problems, waking frequently and never getting enough or refreshing sleep. Then I started LDN and after I got up to (over several months) about 3.5 mg, my sleep improved hugely and that has continued. We all respond differently but some others have found the same about LDN even though it often gives insomnia at the beginning. Now I sleep as long as I need to and wake up feeling rested.

    Don't worry too much about the letter--the big thing is that you are safe and came through a dangerous situation. Maybe our collective wisdom here can help you decide how to handle the letter.

    Again, it is a great relief to see you home and posting. You did great in a really tough situation.

    Sushi
    ahimsa likes this.
  18. Calathea

    Calathea Darkness therapy

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    OK, sweetheart. Breathe. I know this feels like an emergency, but it isn't one. No one would expect an ill patient to hand-deliver that letter to the doctor the next day, and quite frankly you could deliver it a week later and it would be considered normal. So you don't need to make any decisions about it tonight. Put it out of your mind, and remember that we are all here for you, and we will help you work out what to do about the letter.

    Meanwhile, you need to concentrate on getting over the panic, doing whatever makes you feel better both physically and mentally, and getting to sleep. Do you feel the need to talk to people? You could try the chat room here, or I assume there must be helplines you can ring in Australia, the equivalent of the Samaritans, mental health support sort of thing. Blurt it out, write it down if need be, get it out of your system for tonight, and shut the door on it. If you have any techniques or meds for anxiety, now would be a good time to tackle them. Distraction is often good, I find, e.g. watching silly TV, reading a silly website, or come to that a cute website with pictures of baby otters or what have you.

    We all care about you. You're not alone, hon.
    ahimsa and SOC like this.
  19. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    thanks that just made me smile. Unfortunately Im intollerant to alcohol. LOL it may be a good thing, I may be trying to drown my sorrows otherwise.
  20. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Ive come to the conclusion now due to seeing at the bottom of the letter it saying Considering she has had a previous overdose history and is high risk, I discussed to her GP" and this letter was addressed to my ex GP.. So Ive come to the conclusion they must of rang my new ME/CFS specialist who's name was on the pill bottle.

    I cant see how knowing that they view me as a high risk person of suicide who has ODed on purpose twice in the past, how that wont affect what he now gives me. (and that is why Im so upset now.. all I want is the same treatment opportunities others have).

    Yes they were good at the hospital. I think that is the first time they've been good to me there so that was a good surprise.

    My experience probably wouldnt have been so good if they'd treated me like I was lying and sent psychs in to talk to me... it they'd done that.. I wouldnt have handled it well as I cant stand being treated like Im lying and dishonest. I still cant believe they didnt send a psych in and were nice and believed what I was saying... I actually got listened to for a change and not ignored... It was what I needed.. to be treated properly

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