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New Neighbor Smokes

Discussion in 'Lifestyle Management' started by Carrigon, Dec 16, 2010.

  1. jeffrez

    jeffrez Senior Member

    Buy smokeless ashtrays and give them to the smokers. Smokers hate those things and won't use them. They most likely will be a little hostile to you when you approach them with the ashtrays. Tell them you have serious asthma and that the smoke is really damaging your health and giving you asthma attacks, so you bought these smokeless ashtrays to see if they might use them. Depending on how nasty they are, they'll probably say something spanning the gamut from, "Gee, I don't know. I never really considered that before, I guess I might try one, thanks" (being polite), to "get the hell out of here #sshole."

    In either case they won't use the ashtray, but that's not the point. The point is to do the judo move on them where you are letting them know that it's bothering you, but you're not requesting that they stop smoking. That approach completely throws them off and penetrates through all their defense screenings around keeping the addiction. Because when you start telling them how it's affecting your health, they expect you to conclude by asking them not to do it, and all their defenses kick into high gear to resist. But then you disarm them by instead telling them you went out and bought the ashtrays thinking they might be willing to use them.

    It's important to say that you bought them - have them all new in the bag in all the packaging and everything, because that shows that you actually made an investment in it, both of time and money. You've done something for them, and that also helps create the psychology that they now owe you something (that's also why it's better to receive than to give, because when you give you create a subtle resentment in the other person that now they owe you something :D). And do it all with a straight face and be very sincere. They will look at you like you're half crazy, or try to figure out if you're joking, so it's important to be 100 percent earnest about it.

    Even though they have no intention of using the ashtray, now every time they light up it will be virtually impossible for them not to think of you and how they are harming someone other than themselves (which they are in denial about and oblivious to anyway), and in time it will start to weigh on them pretty heavily. Usually within a few weeks to a few months or so you'll find that they've quit smoking. I've done it twice, once with a woman who lived underneath me and who smoked constantly, and both times it worked. I suppose it's possible to get completely conscienceless people who will just totally disregard anyone else, but nothing would work on them anyway. Most people unconsciously know they are damaging themselves with the smoke, but don't really consider how it is affecting other people. Once they have that planted in their mind, it's hard to ignore it.
  2. lancelot

    lancelot Senior Member

    southern california
    there has got to be some law against 2nd hand smoke from other apartments and central ducts. Is there a lawyer in here?
  3. Francelle

    Francelle Senior Member

    Victoria, Australia
    Gosh and here's me thinking of all the advantages to living in an apartment. I think I'll just stay on my quarter acre 'smokefree' house allotment despite all the lawnmowing and gardening maintenance! Where's the happy medium?
  4. Tia

    Tia Senior Member

    That's a really good advice because here the smoke got in through the vents and the windows. So tape it up, just use duct tape and not regular like I did, that didn't help. Seriously I complained about the smoke for 3 years before anything happened and had to get the healthdepartment involved to. The one that lived here before me complained for 5 years whithout anything happening. THAT'S how slow smokers are. And the ones here are old drugaddicts so they're really manipulative and just..well they do it out of spite.

    Francelle: I'd trade with ya in a second.

    Mr. Kites advice.. It sounds REALLy interesting, anyone tried it? :)
  5. Carrigon

    Carrigon Senior Member

    PA, USA
    You should smell the stench of old cigarette smoking on this floor. It's so disgusting. I came home alittle while ago and the smell was just overpowering in the hall walking down to my apartment. And all of it is coming from the bad, crazy neighbor they are trying to evict. He has lived here for almost ten years and smoked up a storm the whole time and no one does a thing about it. The smell is that gross. I want tough laws that there is no smoking in a non smoking building, ever. And I want a law that they can't blast a stereo in an apartment, ever. :((((((((((((

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