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My Meditation Program Is Making Me Insane.

Discussion in 'Alternative Therapies' started by Ema, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. Cheesus

    Cheesus Senior Member

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    Maybe you're HPA axis is super-reactive to everything because you're extremely goal orientated. Perhaps that is a good place to start?

    Gil Fronsdal is great. Check out Jack Kornfield too as he has a really soothing voice and is an extremely good story teller. His podcasts are on www.dharmaseed.org
     
  2. Cheesus

    Cheesus Senior Member

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    Whoever said insight meditation was always relaxing has never really practiced insight meditation :)
     
    svetoslav80 likes this.
  3. peggy-sue

    peggy-sue

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    How does meditation relate to the use of sensory deprivation tanks?

    Meditation has never felt like anything other than a start towards the nightmare of sensory deprivation to me.

    I can get completely absorbed by live music, that is about the only thing that will "quiet" my brain, into a sense of complete peace, but out of myself, not into.

    I do not like being stuck with just me and my thoughts. I like being taken away from myself, into something else.
    That's where I find peace and quiet.
     
  4. svetoslav80

    svetoslav80 Senior Member

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    Right, all the reality which is out of you is changing (not permanent), and when you listen to music there is desire, to listen more and more. When the music stops, you feel miserable again. If you meditate the proper way, after the meditation you won't have any desire. You will just be. It's like waking up from a refreshing sleep.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
  5. peggy-sue

    peggy-sue

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    No, there is no desire. I get completely absorbed, become one with it.
    I'm not aware of it being external, it is living absolutely "in the moment" - nothing more, nothing less.
    When it stops, I feel exhilarated, complete.

    I still strongly suspect there is a gender-type difference in being able to be single tracked enough to meditate.
    I feel you really don't get how much stimulation my brain needs, in loads of different sensory modes all at the same time, @svetoslav80
     
  6. Ema

    Ema Senior Member

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    I'm not sure the Buddha was exposed to as many idiots. Or possibly they keep it under better cover when they are around him rather than just spreading it around at will.

    I thought Wild Divine looked like the best but I'm really unimpressed. I'm almost 100% I'm sending it back. It had a 30 day trial period, so that shouldn't be an issue. I'll have to look around to see what else is out there.

    Yes, throwing some rocks may have made me feel better! It usually only takes once of throwing something expensive and/or valuable to pick something else next time...cheap glass jars work great.

    I'm going to write more about why I want to try to learn to control my emotions better but I'm going to start a new thread in the members only Emotional Support section rather than out here.
     
    beaverfury likes this.
  7. Ema

    Ema Senior Member

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    I'm not sure meditation is what I want to do.

    What I want to do is learn to take my body out of sympathetic overdrive because it is over-reactive now as a result of endocrine dysfunction. And I think that is ultimately damaging to my body to get *so* upset over everything. Because life, especially with a chronic illness, is frequently stressful and upsetting as we all know.

    I see meditation as one way to do this (that I suck at) and biofeedback (such as this program that works with mindfulness) as another way. I thought I might be better at the second method, at least at first. But unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case.
     
    peggy-sue likes this.
  8. madietodd

    madietodd Senior Member

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    When I meditate, I sit in inner silence. I'm there for about 40 minutes, and then I sort of pop up and out.

    When I need deep rest but am not meditating, I do something I can get absorbed into, usually certain types of music.

    When I want an assist in shifting brain waves, I use HemiSync, "meditation" cds from iAwake, or I hold pairs of points on my head.

    I have never used biofeedback, but I imagine it's another useful tool for teaching our bodies to interact with the world in healthier ways.
     
  9. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Madie, which of the Hemisync CDs do you like. I have used tapes like this before, and found the strange sounds irritating to my nerves. I want something more soothing. They have many options.
     
  10. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    I just want to add that what helps me get into a relaxation response is rocking in my hammock. The swaying back and forth is really soothing to my nerves and puts me in a trance like state. I used this as my primary therapy after I was struck by lightning in 1979 and it helped me a lot.
     
  11. Cheesus

    Cheesus Senior Member

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    I don't think it relates to sensory deprivation. If you really dislike being with yourself that is a signal that something is up. Mindfulness simply asks "what's going on?". If what is going on is that you feel very uncomfortable, then that is that. If what is going on is that you are filled with murderous rage, then that is that. Mindfulness meditation doesn't ask us to do anything with these states - it is a very common misconception that we should be at peace when we are practicing. It is to simply see your self as you are now. For some people that can be a very difficult thing to awaken to:

    So mindfulness may or may not be for you, but I just want you to know that what you're experiencing isn't wrong. It's not abnormal. This is meditation. Sometimes you have to walk through fire. If you want a succinct explanation of how we can approach doing this I recommend the following talk:

    http://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/4722.html
     
  12. madietodd

    madietodd Senior Member

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    My favorite is The Journey Home, but I haven't used it in years. I prefer this at the moment, where what I hear is a thunderstorm or ocean waves.
     
  13. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1

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    I really like the hemisync and holosync stuff and have used that.

    I was an experienced meditator in the past but the ME did something to my brain waves and stopped me from being able to do many of my meditations. I found out why years later that my EEGs were showing my brain with the ME isnt normal and doesnt shift in the way its supposed to when I shut my eyes and relax. It doesnt respond to that and my brain waves ran excessively fast. (hence why I struggle now to meditate).
     
    Hip likes this.
  14. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Thanks. I will check these out.

    I have also used Crystal Sonic Sound Sleep. I like their stuff.
     
  15. Ema

    Ema Senior Member

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    OK, I've downloaded it for my iPhone.

    It promises to make me a total rock star for $19.99.

    I'll let you know how it goes...if I'm not too busy riding around in my Mercedes with my new toyboy while counting my gold coins! ;)
     
    peggy-sue and Sushi like this.
  16. Hip

    Hip Senior Member

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    There is a very interesting new device called NeuroSky, which is in essence a personal electroencephalograph (EEG) in a headphone-like unit, which directly measures the gamma, beta, alpha, theta and delta brain wave rhythm generated in your brain.

    It is the alpha and theta rhythms which get stronger when you are in deep mindfulness meditation. You can thus use the NeuroSky as a biofeedback device that directly reads your mind state, to try to increase the profoundness of your mediation. That is to say, you can learn to meditate more deeply by trying to get your alpha and theta rhythms to grow larger. The computer software display of the NeuroSky device looks like this:

    NeuroSky software showing levels of gamma, beta, alpha, theta and delta brain waves.
    NeuroSky.png

    The beta rhythm arises in normal waking consciousness, especially when you are doing intricate tasks like say mental arithmetic. The gamma rhythm (which was only relatively recently discovered) also occurs during intricate tasks, but is also present to a higher degree in meditators; a study showed that experienced Tibetan Buddhist meditators produce higher levels of gamma waves than non-meditators both before and during meditation. The delta rhythm occurs during sleep.

    A review of the NeuroSky is give here.

    Such personal EEG brain wave devices have hitherto cost $thousand, but NeuroSky developed a single integrated circuit chip with all the required electronics on board the chip, making their EEG product both smaller and much, much cheaper to produce (NeuroSky costs $80). It is a complete revolution in this type of product. Furthermore, the NeuroSky headphone-like device does not require the usual array electrodes and electrically conductive gel to be placed on the head, so it is much more convenient and simple to use compared to a traditional EEG. You just slip it on your head like a set of headphones. I believe the NeuroSky is available for multiple platforms, including mobile devices (iOS and Android).

    Though I do agree with others here that the most simple meditation techniques are often the best.


    I used to be a very enthusiastic practicer of mindfulness meditation (usually Buddhist or sometimes Zen meditation), and I found it immensely fulfilling. I could easily do two-hour long meditation sessions, and I often felt not only elated afterwards, but I found my consciousness awareness of the world around me became very acute, so that I could detect a pin drop at 100 paces, metaphorically speaking. I love that feeling of increased sensitivity of consciousness that mindfulness meditation creates; and this state lasts for a good two or three days after a meditation session.

    Though when I tried to get my friends to meditate, they somehow did not get into it; so I think meditation comes more naturally or easily to some people than others.

    Sadly, since getting ME/CFS, I am not longer able to do meditation. If I try, I get bored and distracted, and the process feels dead. Mindfulness meditation normally generates a built up of consciousness awareness and consciousness self awareness in the mind, which feels very much alive. But now I find that during any meditation attempt I make, I no longer feel this build-up of increased sensitivity of consciousness in my mind.

    In short, I now have all the consciousness sensitivity of a dead trout!
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2014
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  17. peggy-sue

    peggy-sue

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    @Hip
    I do not believe for one moment that your consciousness sensitivity can be equated to that of a dead trout.:love:
    I have been slapped in the face by a dead trout, I should know.;)
     
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  18. Hip

    Hip Senior Member

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    Well OK, perhaps then a moribund tortoise.
     
  19. Hip

    Hip Senior Member

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    That could well be true in the case of mindfulness-type meditations. But there are other forms of meditation that I think might resonate more strongly with the female mind.

    I used to go to this Buddhist place to learn meditation, and they taught two types of meditation: The first was Buddhist mindfulness meditation, which I got into easily, as perhaps this might be more suited to the masculine mind. The second type, called metta bhavana (which translates to "loving kindness"), I couldn't really get into at all to begin with, as it was an emotion based meditation focusing on interpersonal relations. Eventually I got into it, but it did not come naturally.
     
    peggy-sue likes this.
  20. Ema

    Ema Senior Member

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    So I took a Valium and I STILL can't calm my inner tension enough to allow the temple doors to open.

    WTF is wrong with me?? LOL. :)
     

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