I've been sick for over 2 decades. Started in my mid-teens. You know, the time when people reflect back on in middle-age, and remember how much energy they had back in high school. I never had that. So my whole life since high school has revolved around building a life that allows me to cope with this illness. I didn't take high school classes based off what interested me, or to be with my friends. I took classes based off what I was capable of completing. I didn't choose a college based off my aspirations, I picked a college that wasn't too hard or too draining, something I had a chance at completing. And I didn't pick a major because I loved the field, but because it was easy enough that I had a chance at graduating, and not failing out. I didn't choose summer jobs off of what I wanted to do in life, I chose summer jobs based off of what my body would allow me to do. Same thing for my adult career/job life. I picked things that I could do, not what I dreamt of doing or was passionate about. Heck, I was passionate about being able to keep a job, so any job that I could hold onto with this illness made me feel amazing, that sense of accomplishment that is so important to the human soul. But now I'm much better. Not cured, but a seismic shift in my illness. The most notable difference is that if I crash, I can get better without having to completely shut down, eg go into rest mode for days/weeks. This is great. It's amazing. But now my work life, that I've built around this illness, is no longer so fulfilling, and I question it all the time. The bar for that fulfillment has been raised. It's like being shot back to my teen years again, where one thinks about the field they're passionate about, and then works toward that career. Except I'm in my late 30s. Also, I've worked very hard to build a career around this illness. Trying something new bc I'm feeling better is risky, as I'd have to leave what took 2 decades to get to. And I'm definitely not 100% better, so there's the great risk of failing at any new venture due to this illness. It's a weird place to be. A good problem to have, coming from where I've been with this. But still a problem. Not sure I really have a point with this.