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Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans

barbc56

Senior Member
Messages
3,657
In case of overdose:

EBCCE5F1-82AE-4B39-8470-897494CBB937.jpeg
 
Messages
1,055
Well, kill or cure guaranteed and you can't kill the undead so, by a process of elimination, it can only be a cure! Yay! But the Magic Beans haven't been tested on the undead yet* so while I can guarantee that your ME/CFS will be cured I can't say that all the effects of zombification, such as missing limbs and vital organs, will be remedied.

*or any thing at all, living or dead.
 

sarah darwins

Senior Member
Messages
2,508
Location
Cornwall, UK
Hi friends,
just wanted to bring you news of my fantastic new guaranteed ME/CFS kill or cure treatment
Mrs Sowester's MAGIC BEANS.
They are 100% imaginary which means they are 100% natural and 100% organic!

View attachment 24424


I've been working on the secret formula all day which makes them ultra special
Don't all rush at once please, they don't actually exist outside of my imagination,
but because I have the memory of imagining them they are 1000% more effective
than homeopathic remedies!
What's not to love?

*And remember folks, they don't actually exist so I'm not advertising anything.​

Ahem.

I wish to draw the attention of members to my advertisement informative post of December 2016:

So it's okay for me to use this line to sell my magic beans? Great.

Sarah's Magic Beans - only $5,000 / bag

Guaranteed up to 99% recovery from ME/CFS!!
(depending on the definition of 'recovery'*)

* This week I'm mostly using the "feel exactly like I did before I ate them only maybe a bit nauseous" definition

link: here

The above post by Mrs Sowester is a transparent attempt to copy and cash in on my seconds years of hard work. Throwing in a cheap graphic in no way mitigates this clear infringement of copyright or the patent I imagine I have.

I shall therefore be instructing my representatives, Suem, Hussle & Leggit, to issue a cease and desist forthwith.
 
Messages
1,055
Yeah, your beans are rubbish while mine are brilliant! ;)

Tell you what, give me 10% of your first year profits and we'll call it quits
You want 10% of the profits from my 'rubbish' beans do you?! Well, we'll see about that! Harrumph.
The difference between our Magic Beans is that mine are 100% effective guaranteed kill or cure whereas yours are...
not.
(Flounces off, muttering under her breath)
I'll see you in court @sarah darwins! (Shouts from a safe distance shaking fist).
 
Messages
3,263
I'm sick from laughing so much! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Yes I would like the bleach-detox option too. These days, I just can't tell if my liver is really clean any more.
I think you find it in apple pips too, so it really is lovely and natural.
Didn't some British guy narrowly escape death recently from eating cherry stones? Probably a made up story by some Pharma shill...

Definitely need an enema version. Because that's exactly where I want to shove your beans, Mrs S.
 
Messages
1,055
If I'm cured on your beans, can I pay a lot to undergo training as a qualified magic beans counsellor? Then buy 2,000 bottles from you to resell on to my customers - as you say there is an enormous market out there. Its such a good investment.
Definitely, I'm working on my new method of diagnosing ME/CFS through the medium of resonant diagnostic crystals and dominomancy (which is like diagnosing with a tarot deck only better because it uses dominos which everyone knows are more scientific).

Once you've undergone your specialised 2 day internet training course in 'The Science of Diagnosing and Killing or Curing ME/CFS with Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans' you can become a Level 1 Mrs Sowester's Magic Bean Practitioner. This will licence you to kill or cure the under 14s, because, as we all know, ME/CFS is different in children.
You'll receive a top quality laminated certificate to hang on your wall, 3 diagnostic crystals, a packet of dominos and a starter box of 10 bottles of Magic Beans at a staggering 5% discounted rate!
You too can become a licensed Level 1 Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans Practitioner for the great, great price of £5999.99!*

*Offer does not include actual Magic Beans
 
Messages
1,478
Definitely, I'm working on my new method of diagnosing ME/CFS through the medium of resonant diagnostic crystals and dominomancy (which is like diagnosing with a tarot deck only better because it uses dominos which everyone knows are more scientific).

Once you've undergone your specialised 2 day internet training course in 'The Science of Diagnosing and Killing or Curing ME/CFS with Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans' you can become a Level 1 Mrs Sowester's Magic Bean Practitioner. This will licence you to kill or cure the under 14s, because, as we all know, ME/CFS is different in children.
You'll receive a top quality laminated certificate to hang on your wall, 3 diagnostic crystals, a packet of dominos and a starter box of 10 bottles of Magic Beans at a staggering 5% discounted rate!
You too can become a licensed Level 1 Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans Practitioner for the great, great price of £5999.99!*

*Offer does not include actual Magic Beans
Thank you Mrs S :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: