Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans

[Invisible Woman]

[aside,]

@Mrs Sowester - your small print needs to be just a couple of points smaller. I could just make it with my magnifying glass. Just so you know.

 

[Mrs Sowester]

Can I take them at the same time as doing my graded exercise therapy?

Oh yes, they will increase the impact of your graded exercise therapy exponentially.

 

[Wonko]

Can I take them at the same time as doing my graded exercise therapy?

Well yes, probably, but given they will either kill you (which would make GET pointless) or cure you (in which case NICE would take a dim view of you doing GET and wasting precious NHS resources) there would seem to be no benefit, might as well just have a cuppa instead.

 

[trishrhymes]

I'd be careful about drawing circles, don't stand in them or you might get struck by lightning and turn into a robot.

Edit: Or a parrot.

 

[Invisible Woman]

might as well just have a cuppa instead.

Ah, now! The gentleman makes a good point. Can we drink while taking the beans, Mrs S? Cause I'd miss the crowd down at the Phoenix Tavern.....

 

[Wonko]

I'd be careful about drawing circles, don't stand in them or you might get struck by lightning and turn into a robot.

That seems unlikely, a toaster maybe but a robot? Have you any links to alt.fake.science to substantiate that?

 

[Invisible Woman]

That seems unlikely, a toaster maybe but a robot? Have you any links to alt.fake.science to substantiate that?

Maybe a Cylon toaster? That's a robot called a toaster....

But then in Big Bang Theory they had a toaster that toasted a Cylon face into the bread. I rely wanted one of those..

Oh. Er.....I feel a bit peculiar. It was 2 beans twice daily, wasn't it????

 

[trishrhymes]

That seems unlikely, a toaster maybe but a robot? Have you any links to alt.fake.science to substantiate that?

Hang on a minute, I'll just go and make up some fake science. I'll offer it to the science media centre, they're sure to take it up.

 

[arewenearlythereyet]

Maybe a Cylon toaster? That's a robot called a toaster....

But then in Big Bang Theory they had a toaster that toasted a Cylon face into the bread. I rely wanted one of those..

Oh. Er.....I feel a bit peculiar. It was 2 beans twice daily, wasn't it????

You can now get Darth Vader toasters for when you want it really dark.

 

[arewenearlythereyet]

I'm available for giving patient testimonials at the very reasonable fee of £600 a go. I haven't tried the pills yet, but like others have mentioned, the placebo effect is already working on me just thinking about them. Just goes to show how powerful they are <<<< that is how I look now

You can contact my agent at ShillsforBullShit.org He can attest to how my many previous "How I got cured through this product" testimonials drew in many clients for other wonderful and inspiring product developers.

Perhaps even a blog or two?

 

[Invisible Woman]

You can now get Darth Vader toasters for when you want it really dark.

Ooohh one for my Christmas list!

Along with the new improved gold coloured beans if course!

 

[Orla]

Well, I haven't conducted any trials into the efficacy of the Magic Beans in relation to the phases of the moon* but the full moon seems to have a very mystical sense of woo about it, the harvest moon in particular seems to have a very specific effect on PwME. So I'd place your order now, in time for the next big moon moment, pop a bean into the orifice of your choosing and maybe skip widdershins around a fairy ring or stone circle seven times. If you don't have a fairy ring or stone circle available just draw a circle on a piece of paper on the floor and use that.

*or any trials into the efficacy or safety of the Magic Beans at all

Don't worry Mrs Sowester, I hear Bristol University is very interested in conducting this sort of research. Guaranteed positive outcomes. They might even advise you on how to deflect freedom of information requests so you never have to release the trial data.

The important thing to remember, is that anyone asking for proof of efficacy or for you to substantiate claims are just being vexatious.

We know this works people, like the label says, kill or cure. What's not to like?

 

[arewenearlythereyet]

Ooohh one for my Christmas list!

Along with the new improved gold coloured beans if course!

I'm pretty sure the ancient Egyptians liked a lot of gold and ancient Chinese herbalists so I think there may be something in this ..after all all those years of it working can't be argued with

 

[Orla]

Perhaps even a blog or two?

I can just see it now, fame and fortune......

 

[Hutan]

I'm available for giving patient testimonials at the very reasonable fee of £600 a go.

Damn, I should have thought of that.

@Mrs Sowester, maybe I can have a bulk discount? Three cups of magic beans a week is going to get expensive.

AT £100 for 3 I'm not sure anyone could afford 3 cups a day tho.

No, 3 cups a day would be silly. The reference I found suggested 3 cups a week. If you are going to criticise, get your facts right.

That seems unlikely, a toaster maybe but a robot?

I have noticed that you seem to be negative about a lot of things. I feel that you have been disrespectful of @trishrhymes point of view. Where is your evidence that being hit by lightning is more likely to turn you into a toaster than a robot?

P.S. The rash seems to have spread, I'm taking that as a good sign that the beans are working.

 

[arewenearlythereyet]

I can just see it now, fame and fortune......

I would definitely ask for an exclusive

 

[arewenearlythereyet]

Damn, I should have thought of that.

@Mrs Sowester, maybe I can have a bulk discount? Three cups of magic beans a week is going to get expensive.



No, 3 cups a day would be silly. The reference I found suggested 3 cups a week. If you are going to criticise, get your facts right.



I have noticed that you seem to be negative about a lot of things. I feel that you have been disrespectful of @trishrhymes point of view. Where is your evidence that being hit by lightning is more likely to turn you into a toaster than a robot?

P.S. The rash seems to have spread, I'm taking that as a good sign that the beans are working.

Yeah the rash...that's just before the boils hit...just think of those things bursting out all the poison you have collected over the years from to masts and microwave ovens....it's all good...same for the chronic diahorrea ..better out than in...do watch out for the wind though ....follow through is a complete nightmare for thirteen weeks or so

 

[Mrs Sowester]

Ah, now! The gentleman makes a good point. Can we drink while taking the beans, Mrs S? Cause I'd miss the crowd down at the Phoenix Tavern.....

Oh yes, drink away! We recorded no adverse events during the testing phase of these Magic Beans*

*because we only think positive so we only record the positives.

 

[Orla]

Oh yes, drink away! We recorded no adverse events during the testing phase of these Magic Beans*

*because we only think positive so we only record the positives.

I'm glad you managed to correct the font on the small print..

 

[Wonko]

I have noticed that you seem to be negative about a lot of things. I feel that you have been disrespectful of @trishrhymes point of view. Where is your evidence that being hit by lightning is more likely to turn you into a toaster than a robot?

It's obvious really, reverse magical thinking, toasters contain lightning, as can be easily demonstrated by turning one on and shoving a metal fork in. Shoving a metal fork in a T1000 doesn't have the same effect, in fact experimental evidence suggests that robots are made out of broken necks.

As to my being negative, it's true, it's a life choice, but someone's got to be, it's all about proper balance, there are so many happy wonderful people out there that if they aren't balanced then the planet will fall over. as it is it's hard work keeping the orbital tilt at 23 degrees, I'm just not negative enough