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Mrs Sowester's Magic Beans

Messages
1,478
Are you sure? The arsenic flavour is proving exceptionally popular? And they're a lovely green colour which helps your body find its own natural healing pathways by harnessing the colour of 100% organic leaves through the medium of arsenic in a way that modern medicine has forgotten, but the ancient civilisations really understood.
Seriously, doctors don't want you to now about these beans guys, doesn't that tell you something?
Bloody big Pharma...I bet these are great with none of those evil fillers like "talc" I mean who uses talc anyway its probably full of nasty additives and who knows what affecting our gut biomes.
 
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1,055
I'm sorry @arewenearlythereyet but these are beans, not pills because beans are so much more natural than pills.
And magic, of course, but that goes without saying! You wouldn't get that though, would you? Because you've been corrupted by Big Pharma and science, I've got a lot of sympathy for you. I mean, you've probably been irreversibly brain damaged by using shampoo. Or non-organic footwear.
Tell you what, I'll sell you a packet at a special discount £98.99. Can't say fairer than that now, can I?
 

Hutan

Senior Member
Messages
1,099
Location
New Zealand
I've been trying these beans since this morning and I am impressed. I feel so full of energy.

I have developed a rather nasty rash on my chest, I guess that means all the toxins in my body are coming to the surface to be expelled.

And a bad stomach ache. But I found this in a health magazine:

Beans may get a bad rap for making people gassy, but that's no reason to cut them out of your diet. Experts recommend you consume up to 3 cups of the legumes a week—because they are so good for your health. And the more you eat, the less likely you are to have tummy trouble.

So I think I just need to up my dose.

Thank you @Mrs Sowester for giving me hope!!!
 

Wonko

Senior Member
Messages
1,467
Location
The other side.
In all seriousness :p if these were marketed I can see a lot of pwME wanting them, the whole guaranteed kill or cure thing is very appealing, who cares which, you pays your money......(no I'm not suicidal, I'm just not in love with the idea of being alive right now;))

AT £100 for 3 I'm not sure anyone could afford 3 cups a day tho.
 
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1,055
In all seriousness :p if these were marketed I can see a lot of pwME wanting them, the whole guaranteed kill or cure thing is very appealing, who cares which, you pays your money......(no I'm not suicidal, I'm just not in love with the idea of being alive right now;))

AT £100 for 3 I'm not sure anyone could afford 3 cups a day tho.
I'm sorry Wonko, but they have to be that much money because I imagined them to be really expensive and we all know that the more something costs the more special it is, don't we?
 

Orla

Senior Member
Messages
708
Location
Ireland
I'm available for giving patient testimonials at the very reasonable fee of £600 a go. I haven't tried the pills yet, but like others have mentioned, the placebo effect is already working on me just thinking about them. Just goes to show how powerful they are :woot: <<<< that is how I look now

You can contact my agent at ShillsforBullShit.org He can attest to how my many previous "How I got cured through this product" testimonials drew in many clients for other wonderful and inspiring product developers.
 
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1,055
Well, I haven't conducted any trials into the efficacy of the Magic Beans in relation to the phases of the moon* but the full moon seems to have a very mystical sense of woo about it, the harvest moon in particular seems to have a very specific effect on PwME. So I'd place your order now, in time for the next big moon moment, pop a bean into the orifice of your choosing and maybe skip widdershins around a fairy ring or stone circle seven times. If you don't have a fairy ring or stone circle available just draw a circle on a piece of paper on the floor and use that.

*or any trials into the efficacy or safety of the Magic Beans at all