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Is it safe to have unprotected sex with CFIDS?

Discussion in 'General ME/CFS News' started by livingwithcfids, Nov 14, 2011.


Is it safe to have unprotected sex with CFIDS?

  1. Yes, it's safe.

    10 vote(s)
  2. No, you might spread CFIDS to her.

    5 vote(s)
  1. livingwithcfids


    Girlfriend is a virgin and has never used drugs or shared needles. Same applies to me. If I (a CFIDS/FM sufferer) have sex without a condom, can she perhaps develop ME/CFIDS? She is perfectly
  2. SOC

    SOC ᗩᑎᑎIᙓ ᘜᔕᗩᙏᑭᙓᒪ

    I don't think we can say 100% that it is safe because we don't know enough about this illness. :( Many of us have been married many years without (apparently) transmitting this illness to our spouses, but that is no guarantee.

    Speaking as a mom -- since you have not made a lifelong commitment to this girl, you should not take the risk of transmitting a lifelong illness to her, even if it is a fairly small risk. Using a condom is safer (in more ways than one ;)). This is a very big step you are contemplating for her -- do it with care and concern for her well-being.
    justinreilly and anne_likes_red like this.
  3. mellster

    mellster Marco

    San Francisco
    I doubt that if it is transmissible a condom will protect, as serology has failed to detect anything for so long. If at all it's more likely to be transmitted by bodily fluids other than blood (esp. if it would turn out to be bacterial) such as saliva, but I agree that a condom helps in more ways than one ;)
    Yungas and taniaaust1 like this.
  4. Jenny

    Jenny Senior Member

    Seems a bit odd to have a poll on this, as no-one knows, since we don't know what causes ME. All I can say is that I have had 4 partners since I developed ME 30 years ago, not used condoms, and none of my partners have got ill.

  5. Valentijn

    Valentijn Activity Level: 3

    Amersfoort, Netherlands
    Even if whatever causes ME can be transmitted sexually, people need to be susceptible in order to develop ME. She could arrange for testing the genes that seem to be causing troubles with methylation/glutathione production, etc.

    But generally, I wouldn't worry about her catching ME, especially since you aren't (presumably!) related. We're a very small portion of the population. Also, if you've been around each other a lot, snogging, etc, odds are she would have caught it from you already if she was going to. At least, I'm quite sure I didn't get it from having sex (or from snogging).
  6. markmc20001

    markmc20001 Guest

    I've seen people get sick over the years, and don't think sex is required transfer ME in my opinion.

    Haven't seen anybody become bedbound from it yet, but seen the gradual decline when left untreated for long.
  7. snowathlete


    Well, you and your girlfriend can probably make your own decisions about whether its right for you to use a condom or not, from a pregnancy risk point of view, but from a transmition of illness point of view, i am not aware of any evidence that there is any chance of passing it on. Having said that, the illness isnt understood very well so you cant be 100% sure.

    I had to make this call myself as my wife and i wanted a baby and the additional concern with that, was, would the baby get it. I decided in the end that it was unlikely to be a problem, so prayed about it and then went ahead. I now have a very energetic 8 month old.

    Good luck whatever you decide to do.
  8. justy

    justy Senior Member

    Catching M.E is not the only issue here (if it were sexually transmitted) You can protect her from HPV infection and possible cervical cancer risk by using a condom. I have had to go through nasty treatment for cervical changes caused by HPV which i picked up from my husband who didnt know he had it. We've been married 13 years and he so far has still not caught anything from me.
    Take care, Justy.
  9. taniaaust1


    Sth Australia
    I too had a very nasty run in with HPV (and was told to abort a bady due to it and the risk of it giving me cervical cancer.. I didnt and my baby then was born with it and developed huge issues due to it). It may be those who are susceptable to ME or have ME possibly may not be able to make antibioties naturally as well to kill that. HPV is the highest sexually disease out there and in guys one dont tend to notice it and they can just carry it. Condoms help to protect a female from it.
    I suggest for the original poster to look up just how common HPV is!!

    On the subject of whether you can spread ME to your partner.. well there are MANY books out there written by couples who BOTH have gotten this illness.. and one getting it just after the after one. (one book like that comes to my mind instantly is "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" by Gregg Charles Fisher .. him and his girlfriend both developed ME.

    In these cases where couples have got it.. they either have caught it at the same time (so obviously caught it from same exposure to something else) .. or one caught it then other did from that person usually while the first one is still early in the illness (so may be far more contagious at the beginning of the illness).

    There thou usually seems to have to be a genetic susceptablity to this illness thou too for many ME cases.

    In my own experience of me transmitting something to my boyfriends.. well I found I can give someone I kiss who isnt in the best health (ive made none of my fit healthy boyfriends sick only the one who already had some health issues).. ME like symptoms (fever, sore throat, malaise) but it only usually lasts a few days or puts them in bed for a few days and then they recover..but they can get sick from me again throu kissing me again on the next time we get a chance to be together. (i made a past boyfriend sick three occassions straight after kissing him.. so he then was scared to kiss me.. so we ended up having to have a no kiss relationship and we used condoms.. and he didnt get sick from there).

    My sister has like CFS now after confusing drinks and drinking from a glass I'd used.

    So I personally think whatever we are carrying is in our saliva (well something I have is).

    anyway I think you are more likely spreading other STDS by sex then ME as I assume you are kissing your girlfriend etc and she's been fine with that.
    justy and justinreilly like this.
  10. gregf

    gregf Senior Member

    Sydney Australia
    This is where my engineers training kicks in.
    Every question has three possible answers. Yes, no, and unknown.
    If the answer is unknown, do not, do not allow yourself to be shifted to yes or no.
    If the answer is unknown, and some action is required, take the safest path.

    The evidence is still strong we have a virus or even a retrovirus.
    We have spent the last two years screaming to everyone, that we have a virus.
    There are people in this forum who believe they gave their partner cancer from the ME virus.

    What level of disregard can people have to ignore this ?
    I am astounded that anyone would consider it. But a majority !
    If your new partner develops ME or Cancer, or your child is Autistic, how will you feel ?

    No one with ME should be starting a new relationship with someone who has not had ME.
  11. maryb

    maryb iherb code TAK122

    I agree gregf mostly but not with your last sentence, I think new relationships are okay if sensible precautions are taken.
    For instance how would you feel livingwithcfids if it was the other way round, would you want to take the risk of getting ME?? The truth is we don't know how it is transmitted so err on the side of caution please for her sake until we do.

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