Misfit Toy
Senior Member
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I've had times in the past when I thought things couldn't get any worse and toxic drugs were worth the risk but in the end all drugs I ever took (ironically, very few overall) made me worse. With this illness, there always exists the potential to sink to previously unimaginable depths of illness. I don't think even mild or moderate ME patients can comprehend the special hell of severe/very severe ME. I think that at present, in the absence of solid prognostic factors for a good response to rituximab, it's too risky (as evidenced by experiences of German patients) but in the future if the pathophysiological mechanisms are elucidated a bit more I think it's worth considering.
Perhaps my view is skewed by the fact that I've been at this for 20+ years so the gung-ho attitude of my earlier years is long gone. In the first few years of being sick with this freakshow it seems impossible/intolerable to comprehend or imagine a future in which every day looks like this for decades so I think people naturally think the best approach is to do whatever it takes to get better but I think the experience of many long-term patients has been that many "treatments" make things worse ultimately. Sometimes preserving what little functionality is left is a better approach than taking huge risks. In ME, a gamble can result in things like severe intractable pain 24/7 and inability to assume even a sitting position for more than a few minutes. Continuing for months or years.
Sidereal...I love this. It says it all. All that I feel.