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ME/CFS: A disease at war with itself
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Inner critic/inner coach.

Discussion in 'Lifestyle Management' started by Gavman, Aug 18, 2012.

  1. Gavman

    Gavman Senior Member

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    Sydney
    While I am not going to spend lots of money on something i probably will not do like all the other education i've ever done, this hit home quite well for me and felt inclined to share -

    Self Sabotage or the Inner Critic

    Self sabotage or the inner critic are a part of your mind that loves to talk to you from past experience, thinking it’s protecting you, warning you of all the possible terrible consequences of things you do. The voice that is sabotaging you is based on unconscious programming from the past. Times when you failed an exam, when your relationship ended, when you were told you were ugly. So the self sabotages your current actions trying to make you safe and problem-free. And yet all these negative thoughts keep you trapped in the misery and a vicious cycle of negative thoughts.
    If you want to recover and to do that use the Gupta Programme, which includes the amygdale retraining technique and yoga, breathing and meditation, it means a high level of self care. It means you are able to love yourself so much you will dedicate time and what energy you have to using the Programme. If however, instead of self love, you have a high level of self sabotage then you will find it a challenge to use the Programme.
    The inner critic is prepared to use your past to hold you back – if you were told as a child you must be quiet and not speak up, to be a good girl, to always put others first then these patterns are what the self saboteur will use now. The unconscious voice will distort and stretch the present so that you focus only on what you think you can’t do or be. The voice is not afraid to speak up and tell you that you’re not good enough or you don’t deserve to be happy and healthy.
    The good news is that you have an inner coach which is conscious and speaks for your true self. This voice knows you deserve and are good enough to be healthy and it knows that by using the Gupta Programme this will become true. It knows it’s a challenge and it’s okay to feel sad or frustrated. But it knows the good and that you must celebrate and bring this to the forefront of your conscious thoughts. The inner coach knows that problems are challenges and out of all bad things come blessings in disguise. For example, ending one relationship led you to a new town and a new better relationship.
    The challenge for you is to listen to the inner coach more and more – to give it the attention it needs to get stronger. The self saboteur is so strong and ever-present and quick to slap down the inner coach. The self saboteur has been in your mind for a long long time and been given support by family, teacher and society. If your mother worried then she unknowingly fed your self saboteur and now you are a great worrier too. Your inner coach has not had such support and so needs that attention now. Both voices come from you and at times both perspectives have value – in the right proportions. Right now you need a bigger inner coach who you really trust. You need to have an inner coach who guides you and an inner critic who pipes in now and then with a gentle warning.
    Let your inner coach start supporting you (just like a life coach) in the following ways:
    • Encourages you to set a daily routine from the Gupta Programme that is in tune with your values
    • Believes you can do it! Helps to generate self confidence that you can get better
    • Accepts you are doing your best and knows you will get better at taking action
    • Explores life’s options with you
    • Keeps you motivated
    • Celebrates your accomplishments along the way
    Your inner critic, on the other hand, seeks to do the opposite of all that and thinks it’s safer for you to remain living with your symptoms – so it’s self sabotage all the way.
    To switch to your inner coach and let it come through loud and clear you can do the following exercises:
    Exercise A
    1. Set aside time to let your thoughts wander on Recovery (or other issues). Start to listen to the voices that come through. Can you hear the voice of your inner critic? What does it sound like? What does it say? Do you hear a lot of ‘should’, ‘ought’ or ‘must’? It is taunting, mocking, strident, and sarcastic? Or is it sorrowful, fed-up, depressed, and dejected? Is it a person or various people you know? Or something else?
    2. Now imagine a voice that is the opposite. How does it sound? What does it say? Is it a voice you now and love or one that is delightfully fresh to you? If you turn up the volume on this voice, how do you feel? Does your inner critic complain? If so, let it fade away and fizzle out all by itself and keep turning up the volume on the voice of your inner coach. What new insights does it offer you? What feelings does it produce for you?
    3. Practise this activity frequently. Let you inner coach get bigger and stronger.
    Exercise B
    Write in your journal – have a Gupta Recovery Journal. Write without thinking or analyzing about your inner critic. When you’re ready write down what your inner coach would say about what you’ve written – the wisdom of your true self. Or sometimes just seeing what nonsense your inner critic comes up with is enough to break the spell and restore your self confidence.
    You can also write your inner critic and inner coach having a dialogue – and give yourself the practice you need to be able to start doing this in your head.
  2. alex3619

    alex3619 Senior Member

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    Logan, Queensland, Australia
    Hi, you may not realize it, but the inner critic idea is known in buddhism and is the major principle behind cognitive therapy (as in CBT). In CT its formalized a lot, they use a list of common fallacies our brains bye into. This should not be confused with CBT that is based on our having dysfunctional illness beliefs - thats an extreme variant with less validity than most other things in medicine. Some hypnosis, autohypnosis and affirmation strategies also use this idea. Bye, Alex
    Mary Poppins likes this.
  3. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    Gavman thanks for sharing...anything postive that may help is great : )

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