I generally try to keep my posts objective. I simply do not have the fiscal resources to manage this illness. The worst part is my family's suspension of disbelief, that I am a racehorse that just needs to keep on going. That I'm a type-A student able to complete a hard sciences degree cum laude. I don't need to reiterate the public stereotype I've received from every external party. I am 24, I have limited credit. I have nothing to go into bankruptcy with. I have no house to re-mortgage. From a purely economic perspective, getting me 50% better may cost roughly $10,000. My overall contribution to society will eclipse that in two or three years of regular work just in income tax. I need an advocate for unemployment. I need an advocate for SSD. I need a doctor knows more about physiology than I do. I need a CFS specialist. Of course, this is pure postulation, but I imagine I will die soon without these things. I can be out of bed for about four hours per day, and that is more than some. With my brain burning like charcoal on a spit, I still somehow manage to feel luckier than most.