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I nearly stole today.

Discussion in 'Finances, Work, and Disability' started by Koan, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. Koan

    Koan Be the change.

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    I contemplated two acts today which may have been either/or unethical and illegal - I'm not sure. Well, actually, I'm sure they were illegal. In general, I find the illegal less problematic than the unethical but sometimes they are convergent.

    You see, July and August are both 31 day months and it will become clear in a moment just how this plays into my near crime spree. Those of us on disability really hate 31 day months. That's a whole extra day to keep yourself fed.

    I don't know why I didn't take into consideration the 31 day month when I bought the $4.00 flypaper (another story) but I didn't. And, as it turns out, the flypaper is not useful for the purposes for which I bought it which was not flies.

    So, here I sat with 3 rolls of unopened, useless to me, flypaper, one open and slightly unspooled roll - they are boxed as 4 - in a 31 day month! Then it hit me - I could return the flypaper with a lie about it being faulty! :rolleyes: Yes, yes, faulty flypaper is a stretch, I know. There is no tech. support line for flypaper, it's a no-brainer product.

    Anyway, common sense aside, what are the ethical implications of returning flypaper, even three usable rolls, if you'd have to lie about the reason? On the other hand, $4.00 is $4.00 and the cupboard is very nearly bare.

    Happily for my Karma, I could not find the receipt! Whew! I don't know what the karmic cost for returning flypaper under false pretenses is but, whatever it is, I don't need it.

    So, armed with what was left of my monthly stipend: $4.76, I ventured across the street to the drab 'Value Mart'. Now, doesn't that sound like it should be an inexpensive place to shop? It's called "Value" and it's not the least little bit fancy or charming or anything else that might give one pause. That's how they getcha - you don't know what's happening til you get to the checkout.

    Figuring a big pot of chili could be fashioned from the rice I had and the canned veg I could buy, I searched among the loose onions for the smallest one. This, in itself was an interesting exercise.

    Many of the small onions had soft spots and an ever so slight blush of mold and were quite light so would be cheaper. I thought about whether buying a bad onion would make sense and couldn't figure it out so I chose a nice, firm, heavy but small onion which I handed to the young man, unpacking impossibly red and enormous (and probably tasteless) strawberries from God knows where, and asked him to weigh it so that I would know it's price. My onion would be about 75 cents. "75 cents!", I said, "For an onion?!" He smiled. None who work there would be foolish enough to shop there.

    This brings me to the point, if it can be called a point, of this seemingly endless spew. For anyone who is still with me here - WAKE UP! - I thought about stealing that onion. It was only the realization that, knowing me, there was a very real danger that I would find myself back there later in the day "confessing" some cock-and-bull story about how I just happened to find an onion in my pocket, probably stuck to flypaper, that stopped me.

    Two crimes averted today. No onion, though. Ah well, never mind, there was a lovely loaf of flax bread in the day old shelf! Score! And, when I returned home I discovered that I have three more eggs than I thought! (Egg fairy? We'll never know.)

    Stomach 1 ~ Karma 1

    Peace out,
    Koan
  2. Jody

    Jody Senior Member

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    Koan,

    It is certainly interesting to see where long term poverty and ill health can take a person.

    My guess is that if you had your health and a decent income you would never have thought about pocketing an onion or anything else.

    I have returned stuff that was perfectly fine, saying the size was wrong or whatever, simply because I needed that money back more than I needed the item I decided to return for refund.

    And I'm pretty sure you and I are not alone in this quandary.

    Well, ya thought about ripping off the store. Stickin' it to the Man. :D

    But you didn't do it.

    You thought about making up a story about the fly paper. Didn't do it.

    I don't care what the reasons were that stopped you, just remind yourself, you didn't do it.

    I have some understanding of the pressures that you are under day in and day out.

    If you lived near me, I have some onions out of my step-dad's garden I'd be glad to share with you. And some tomatoes and zucchini. Like those? :)

    All of us at my house lived one winter, spring and summer on the day old bread cart at the grocery store. Thank God for it.

    Don't know if those eggs appeared magically or if you just didn't notice them before you went out. But, I do believe in the Egg Fairy. :)
  3. Lisa

    Lisa Senior Member

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    Yup, you're not alone Koan.

    If I weren't housebound I'd be much more tempted for such things myself. Not the same when the only onion you can pocket would be your own! hehe Hate to admit it, but my ideals have run a bit larger than yours - but mainly because the driving force (finishing this dang house) would take more than a couple bucks to have settled.

    Like Jody said, you didn't do it. So don't try not to dwell on this anymore and turn that energy instead towards thanking the egg fairy. :)

    And just for the record, even if you had done it, wouldn't have made me think any worse of you. :)

    Lisa :)
  4. jenbooks

    jenbooks Guest

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    Koan love the story but...
    I would have returned the flypaper and just been honest. I would have said I'm on SSDI and I forgot this was a 31 day month and I'm broke and hungry. Can I return this--I haven't used it?
    Someone would have to be a horrible curmudgeon not to take it back since it's perfectly saleable.
    That way you're ethical and can buy your onion.
  5. InvertedTree

    InvertedTree Senior Member

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    Nope. You're not alone.

    We all get it.

    It's too bad we didn't all live on a big piece of communal property and have a garden in which to grow our own food.

    And share with each other when times get rough.
  6. Koan

    Koan Be the change.

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    just quickly...

    The flypaper was unreturnable because I had opened one spool, unwound the end bit, cut it off and stuck the non-sticky part between my toes (yes, that's what I said) and, sort of... one might say, 'worn' it for an evening.

    :eek:

    told ya it was a long story. Otherwise, I would have walked that flypaper right back to that store, receipt or no (I didn't look very hard, truth be told) and begged for my $4.00 back. I would even have hoisted my wee dog up in the air and pleaded: Look at that face!

    (I will explain about the flypaper when I'm able.)

    Thank you all for not judging me. I knew you wouldn't. Despite the fact that I can often be found atop the horns of an ethical dilemma, I'm usually laughing at myself. I'm Irish: the worse it gets, the deeper the laughter.

    Jody, you're probably old enough to remember 'Steal This Book' -- now that was an ethical conundrum!

    You're a lovely bunch,
    Koan
  7. Jody

    Jody Senior Member

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    LOL

    I DO remember Steal This Book!

    Trying to get the name now -- Abby Hoffman?
  8. Jody

    Jody Senior Member

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    Terri,

    I have thought this many times recently.

    We'd have to be sure to bribe a few people who are not chronics so ... somebody could do the work ... :)

    But yes, all kidding aside, I have thought how sweet that could be. We're so spread out but it's nice to think about, see each other in that light. And know others are looking at us in that light.

    Yeah, sweet. :)
  9. jenbooks

    jenbooks Guest

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    Your toes....hmmm...

    Okay, this story has got to be good and I am totally curious.
    What were you using it for?
    To fix your sandals or thongs?
    To fashion party shoes?
    To help with corns?
    As a buddhist ritual where each toe has to realize it is separate from the other and seek unity?
  10. Lisa

    Lisa Senior Member

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    Count me in on the communal property. I love gardening and would probably work far too much in the garden. You would all have to tie me up against some apple tree to keep me from going and digging in the dirt too much.

    It a nice thought.

    Lisa :)
  11. Jody

    Jody Senior Member

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    Just going to modify what I said a few minutes ago.

    While yes, we would need to be able to lure in some non-chronics to make things work, I do have one to contribute (married to him :)) . He has fibro but still likes to raise a sweat and hurt himself really badly in the name of a good project.

    And, I am thinking, I have had periods of time even as a chronic where my brain was no good but I could and did enjoy to work hard at physical, non-thinking things.

    As long as everyone was careful to be really honest with themselves as to what they could and could not do, there could be something for everyone.

    I love the idea. :)
  12. Koan

    Koan Be the change.

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    Laughing so hard!
  13. jenbooks

    jenbooks Guest

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    Koan...hmmm...

    Koan, no post of yours is complete without a comment in the editing section such as, "idiocy" or "John Lennon" or whatever. I was crestfallen to see this short post with no edit as an added "ping"....:p
  14. Koan

    Koan Be the change.

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    I can't post or edit -- I'm too busy laughing!

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